Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Don't feel bad if you don't help your kids with their homework

This is a fascinating article. You know the usual message that you should be involved in your kids' schooling and help them do their homework.

Here's research saying that doesn't help. The best role for parents is to stress the importance of schooling and learning to their kids and then get out of the way.

This reminds me that my older daughter claims that I got very upset when she got a C in her freshman year in high school. I don't remember this but my reply is, "Well, you never got another one.''

This shows that the conventional wisdom is sometimes not right. It is worth a read.



  1. I didn't have help growing up. For a short time I lived close enough to call my grandmother for help but never from my mom. My grades were bad because no one cared. Why should I? In high school my mom paid me for grades. She was afraid that I was going to drop out. Yep. My grades were that bad. But I saw $$$. My grades came up in a hurry. Unfortunately, mom quit paying when I started making honor roll.

  2. Interesting. I think having balance is the key. Kids have to have room to be themselves (take what classes they want) but it's important parents make it known how important it is that they do good.

  3. This was the most confusing survey ever ! I don't even understand what they are saying.. depends on the weather on a tuesday and if the child had wheaties for breakfast? If they are black and it is cold outside? Too many variables here for this to make any sense..

  4. I think there's a fine line between being involved in your child's homework/ education & basically doing it for them when the parent thinks they're "helping" (that last bit was my parents, for a long time)

    Admittedly, like flying solo I didn't quite grasp the article in its entirety, thus drawing conclusions from my own life.

    BTW, did you see how Finland is totally cool?

  5. Growing up, I remember some help from my mom, but after a certain point, there was no more help, encouragement, or even interest in whether I was doing it or not, which resulted in me just doing enough to get by. Since meeting DH, I have graduated with a 3.92 and BS. So my approach with my children is showing and having interest, but as you said, I want to make them understand that it is their homework and they are responsible for it. However, I will try to stay engaged even as they get older....