Monday, November 21, 2016

Saying goodbye

It was a very emotional, draining experience to attend my mother's funeral and I want to thank all the bloggers who sent their best wishes.
I met many people I hadn't seen in years and it was so nice to hear so many of them saying so many good things about my mother.  She was a nurse and a half dozen of her former colleagues showed up wearing the caps and capes they wore back in the day.
She was very involved in her church and one of the priests at her service talked about how they decided to put together a book on all the religious denominations in the community. When only half of them replied to their letters, she called the ones that didn't reply. If they didn't the answer the  phone, she visited their places of worship to get the history of their congregation. When she was asked what brought her to their place of worship, she said you don't answer your mail. My mother always told it like it was.
Her church has a brunch after all the funeral services and one of the priests invited everybody to come and he then said you'd better show up. He smiled and said that's not me talking, that's her talking.
She lived in her own house until her mid 90s when she had to give up driving and move in with my sister about three and a one-half years ago.
She started planning the funeral a long time ago and even picked out her coffin back in 1998 with the last supper tableau on the front. They no longer had the same coffin but they had a similar one. I think she lived longer than she expected. She sometimes said in recent years, why hasn't God called for me. Has he forgotten about me? I think she was ready to leave us after a long and fruitful life at 98 although it would have been a milestone if she had reached 100. Sometimes I think death is tougher on those of us left behind than for the deceased who have probably gone to a better place.
And she was a quilter who made hundreds of pot holders for people to pick up at the funeral to help them remember her. And she even made things for breast cancer victims to wear under their arms.
At the cemetery, the first snowstorm of the year was falling. Kind of made it a poignant scene for someone who spent her life in snowy Michigan. She was buried next to my father next to my dad, who died in 1990.
And now my family and I are left with many memories. 
And now to change the subject, I missed Love Our Lurkers day. And for the lurkers who are reading this, I hope you will sign on and join our community. I was once a lurker myself until I was convinced by LOL to join in. That eventually led to me meeting some of the bloggers and then starting this blog. Welcome to all of you lurkers. This is a very welcoming community.  

FD

36 comments:

  1. Hi FD, Your mum sounds like such an amazing lady. I am so glad you have such great memories of her and hope that will give you comfort. Thinking of you
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Yes, I will always have those memories.

      FD

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  2. Hi FD, Thank you for sharing about your mom! She sounds like an incredible woman, who lived a full and generous life. How neat that she quilted potholders to be given out at her funeral! I love that!

    I agree with you- those of us left behind have the hard part, the missing! No matter how you look at that, it is tough! I too believe that your mom has gone to a better place, and is with your dad. I believe that about my parents too. It helps... sort of! I've found that what really seems to help, is hanging on to the love of our family and friends that offer support, as we go through adjusting to life without our parents. Thinking of you! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Yes, it is tough and it does help to hang onto the love of my family.

      FD

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  3. Sounds like your mom's funeral was more a celebration of a life well lived. I agree that dying, especially with older folks, is easier on them than us. We're left with the hole in our lives.

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    1. It was a celebration of her wonderful life.

      FD

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  4. It sounds like a beautiful service.

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  5. Your mom was indeed an extra-ordinary woman. I loved the pot holder story, since right after my mom died one of ladies who lived in her building, made pot holders for all of mom's friends, and a special one for me...to remember mom by..she said it was the best thing she could think of since mom was always the life of every meal, making every laugh. I think of mom every time I use it.
    hugs abby

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  6. Happy you have so many happy memories FD. Your mom sounds like an amazing women. Thinking of you.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  7. I am sorry for your loss. Sounds like your mom was a wonderful lady and cherished by all. Kitty

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  8. I am a lurker, a vanilla lurker, responding to your invitation to comment. I do this because your mom sounds very much like my mom, who died 2 years ago. My mom was also a quilter and active in her church. But more than that, she was a champion golfer, who had a stroke at age 88 ~ at a golf tournament, no less.
    So I offer you my condolences for a life that sounds like it was well-lived.
    P.S. ~ I found your blog a couple months ago by reading others and clicking on their links.

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    1. Always nice to welcome a vanilla lurker. Mice your mom was a quilter and was active in her church besides being an active golfer. Since you are vanilla and read the blogs, does our community intrigue you? We like to welcome vanilla readers. And hope you keep commenting.

      FD

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  9. I hope it will heal with time. I lost my father 1.5 years ago and it still hurts. It will never hurt less, just less often. I'm glad she was such an amazing person that you can remember with pride.

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    1. Yes, I remember her with pride even though it hurts.

      FD.

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  10. I am so very sorry for your loss, FD...Your mom was an amazing woman! So happy you were able to have her as long as you did. Truly loved the pot holder story...what a wonderful gift. Sending prayers and healing energy. You have so many wonderful memories to look back at.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Thanks for your prayers and healing energy.

      FD

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  11. Thanks for sharing who your mom was with all of us. She was a special woman. Cherish those fond memories. May the healing continue.

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    1. Yes, I will cherish those fond memories.

      FD

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  12. My condolences to you, your family and all who loved your mom. The way you have described her, invokes thoughts, of a woman of faith, family and friends. Hold onto the memories, especially this upcoming Thanksgiving. I'm sure she wouldn't want any sadness but hearts full of great memories and funny thanksgiving gathering mishaps. Burnt rolls? I lost my mom in June. And it does get easier...the grief. Its like hammering a nail in a fence, then pull the nail out. The hole is the void. Just not as painful. Time heals. And knowing that we all could be reunited again is comforting. Peace be with you.

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    1. Sorry you lost your mom in June and yes, time heals.

      FD

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss FD. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing and giving woman and I agree with Leigh, the service sounded like a celebration of her life. I love that she made pot holders to be given out at the funeral.

    I glad you now have wonderful memories of both of your parents to cherish. Thinking of you.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  14. Sending love... your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, and a character too. i know you'll miss her. i'm so sorry for your loss.

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  15. Your mother sounds like an amazing woman. I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad that you have many happy memories to hold onto. (((hugs)))

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  16. I am sorry for your loss. What wonderful memories you have of your mom. She was well loved! I agree that we are the sufferers. The services are for us to celebrate our loved ones lives and begin to let them go in the love of friends and family.

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    1. Yes, the service helps us celebrate her life.

      FD

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  17. so sorry for your loss FD...hugs

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  18. This was such a sweet tribute to your mother. I love that she made potholders for the people at the funeral.
    Please accept my deepest condolences.

    Liza

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