Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Whatever happened to hickeys?

A few posts ago, I told you about the HBO comedy called Hung about a guy who was well, ahem, well endowed. Sounds like a crazy idea for a comedy and you have to see it to appreciate.

I'm not going into the show on this post except to say on one of the episodes the guy got a hickey and was trying to hide it.

Which gave me a thought. Whatever happened to hickeys? When was the last time you got one? When was the last time you saw one?

And why don't see more of them? Remember when girls used to cover them up with scarves?

My theory is that foreplay has become a lost art because couples tend to go quicker right to sex. Do you have a theory or any thoughts on the subject?

I'm all ears.



  1. I still see hickeys, but they are usually on younger people. I would disagree with you about foreplay, but that may just be based on my own experience. I watch no television, so I have time for foreplay! My wife and I sit in bed and talk for a good while, then move slowly into making out, which generally gets the embers going to the point where we eventually, after a good deal of foreplay which can be very different form one night to the next, have sex. Almost every night. One must consciously make sex a priority in order to live that way though.

    Try hanging around your local high school. I'll bet you'll see some monster hickeys...

  2. my husband doesnt do much foreplay because he knows all my hot buttons. He can do one or two moves and dive right in. Sometimes its funny and sometimes i wish he'd work harder.

  3. FD,
    I think you are right about the foreplay - now I don't mean us old married couples but the teens. Back in the day there were still a lot of nice girls who were not going to go 'all the way' but heavy petting did happen because that was as good as it was going to get!! That's where the good hickys came from.

    Now so many teens have lost the art of 'making out' because sex seems to be the goal. Sad really. I now think we 'old married people' are the ones who know the joys of true foreplay. We have the teens beat on this one!


  4. I always thought that hickey's were a "branding" sort of thing. In our school only the wild girls would have them. But now that I'm a mom of teens.... guess what I've noticed a time or two. (Originally I didn't like them because they hurt. Guess I was looking for something to hurt a bit lower!)


  5. I'm not exactly a youngin' but hickeys aren't that uncommon. I remember my mother telling me when I was younger that I shouldn't be advertising them, though. So I think many people are a little more discrete about it.

    I'm not sure if foreplay could ever get lost in a generation. I think foreplay is strengthened as you move through a relationship. I don't believe that it is always the discovery point.

  6. I have to agree with A New Dom - I'm 21, and hickeys are super common in people of my age group. Nowadays I see more people trying to cover them up with makeup...maybe you're missing them because you're looking for scarves.

  7. Maybe they're now where you can't SEE them? Ever think of that? ;)

  8. honestly, to me, hickeys are something young kids do in order to shout about their escapades. I mean, my very first "real" boyfriend when I was just barely 15 used to give me HUGE ones ... and it was indeed a 'statement' - I friggin HATED them - for one thing, the suckers hurt (if I cast my mind back that far) - and don't do a damn thing for my libido LOL

    I haven't had once since and don't miss it in the least.

    and foreplay a lost art? Again, not sure if I agree - I think that sometimes time constraints limit the extent and time involved (realities of jobs, kids, housework, other commitments) but then particulary if one indulges in BDSM play - it is ALL foreplay to my mind !

  9. I don't get hickeys, but I do have bite marks! I bruise easily, and I love being bitten on the neck and shoulders. It's really embarrassing because I'll get them from just the smallest bite. My friends can always tell if I've had sex because I'll have a dark spot on my neck, behind my ear, or where my neck meets my shoulder. With Mr Right living only a few miles away in the same small town, we have to really watch for marks. It's just not cool for the local divorce attorney to show up in court with bite marks on her neck!! LOL!

  10. i bruise very easily. last one i had was a few years ago. hickey was on my neck one of my big zones. thank goodness, i have shoulder length hair which hid it until it went away. as far as, foreplay... yes i do think its become a lost art. men and women are too much in a hurry. foreplay for me begins with my mind. i try not to be in a hurry but life does get in the way at times. when we take the time for long foreplay. those are the times i remember being erotic and hot.

  11. Good to see this post led to so many comments:

    --New dom. Congrats that you have so much foreplay and so much sex. You're an inspiration for the rest of us.

    --Kitty. Good that your husband knows all your hot spots, but maybe you should ask him not to start with them so you can have more foreplay.

    --PK. Yes, the teens may not realize what they're missing. Remember the joy of getting to third base. LOL.

    --Fun. You mean you weren't one of the "wild girls?'' LOL. To this day, my wife seems to have your attitude when she says, "Don't mark my neck.'' Kind of spoils the moment.

    --Laur. Maybe you're right that they're not being advertised.

    --True blue. Good to see a 21-year-old commenting and glad to hear they're still common. Maybe the makeup is covering them up.

    --Sara. You may be right about not being able to SEE them.

    --Selkie. I think one of the pluses of BDSM play is that it tends to amount to more foreplay.

    --Cutesypah. Love of the image of the divorce attorney with hickeys. Has the recession hurt your business?. Do you see any evidence that couples stick more in hard times because they can't afford a divorce? And do you friends keep track of how much sex you're having. LOL.

    --Jam. Glad to see you make time for foreplay.

    And thanks for all the comments. Always good to know the bloggers aren't interested in my posts.

  12. I still get hickeys, very dark obvious ones. DH tries to do them in the less visible areas (back of neck, shoulders, breasts, bottom). He occasionally forgets and I end up with a highly visible one ~~ out comes the makeup and scarves (warm weather) or high necks (cold weather). In fact, I have some now :D
    Foreplay ~~ probably not as much or as often as I would like, because as others have stated, after this long you know just what to do to each other to get things going.

  13. FD, I realized that I never posted a response to your questions. First, I opened my own firm in April, and I've tripled my client list since that time. And, I've almost got more cases than I can handle right now. So, people are still fighting over custody and getting divorce in my area.

    As for hickeys, like I said, bite marks are actually what I get, and Mr Right still leaves them on me with regularity. I'm getting much better at covering them up. When I was in high school, my boyfriend always left them on my breasts, so I never had to worry about them showing. But, since I love, Love, LOVE being bitten on the neck, I can't complain because I'm getting what I asked for!!

    As for my friends keeping track of how much sex I'm having, my friends, my old high school friends because I now live back in my home town, always knew and still know that I have a VERY high sex drive. Trust me, they know if I've seen Mr Right, we had sex. And I see him almost every day of the week. Yeah, it's that often, and it's that good!! *big satisfied grin*

    and yes, bite marks ARE foreplay, along with deep, wet, soulful kisses that last all day. thank goodness Mr Right agrees that you can NEVER have too much foreplay!


  14. Robin: Good to hear you're still getting hickeys. And covering them up with scarves brings back a lot of memories.

    cutesypah: I think we all envy Mr. Right that he has a partner with a high sex drive who agrees that you can never have too much foreplay (love the thought of those deep, wet soulful kisses that last all day). And sex virtually every day sounds great too. Also, congrats that your firm is doing so well. And you're fortunate that your clients don't follow your lifestyle or you wouldn't have as much business. LOL.