Tuesday, September 7, 2010

When Is a Woman at Her Sexiest?

I saw this debate in the paper today and the answers were not always when a woman is young.

One 54-year-old guy wrote, "I can often look past the years to see, in many women, that lingering aura of the youthful beauty they once had. It may be in their eyes or smile, or the shape of their nose. Match that with their higher degree of wisdom and experience and it is far sexier. But I would never have been able to think that way when I was 25.''

And Diane Lynn, the author of "Sex for Grownups,'' wrote, "The bottom line is that a woman is sexiest when she feels she is at her sexiest, not when her hormones peak. Attitudes trump technique. It is being comfortable in their own skin.''

She also said that half the women over 50 said sex didn't exist and half said it was the best ever.

So I'll throw it open for comments. When do you think a woman is at her sexiest?



  1. Hello,
    (sorry about my english), Married after almost 35 years with a woman that I met 6 years before, when we were 14 y.o. I have to tell you that she's now more sexy than ever, in her mind and in her praxis, when she's now 55 y.o.

  2. i just turned 50..this is the sexiest i have ever felt.

  3. I think that there are varying kinds of sexiness... One is the sheer beauty of a young, nubile, lithe body... and then at the other extreme, is the sexiness that comes with knowledge and acceptance of one's self...

    All in all, sexiness is a frame of mind, I think...


  4. I have to agree with Red Shoes.. sexiness is completely a state of mind.
    Sure,I was sexy at 30..and 45 was red hot~!

    However, nothing beats knowing myself and loving myself the way I do in my late 50s.
    I understand my sexiness now and accept that side of me much more than I ever did before.

    Nice topic!

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  6. Sexy to me is confidence, freedom to self express without the worries of what others think. Embracing all the physical flaws, imperfections. Once you reach that place of comfort, it is sexy at it's best...my epiphany says it all.

  7. I totally agree with those stating that sexy is a state of mind. Feeling sexy and confident is certainly when one is sexiest!

  8. The more a woman embraces all her flaws and things that are not going to change, she is at her best.
    That is one thing I have always done and that is accept me for the size and shape I am. I came to find out that men and women envied me for that. I mean hell if it ain't going to change then I better like it because I have to live with it!!!

    BTW, as I approach 40 in a couple months. I must admit that I feel the sexiest as I get out of the shower!!!!


  9. Young and unaffected by time and gravity, younger woman will alway send a jolt of electricity through you. But a younger woman will very rarely have the radiance, confidence, inner beauty and grace of an older woman (40+).

    And it's not where THEY are that makes them sexy, it's where YOU are. If you allow an older woman her radiance, confidence, inner beauty and grace without making the physical demands and expectations you admire in a younger woman - it just spells s-e-x-y - sexy! Sexy! Sexy!

  10. It's heartening to see all the positive comments about older women! I also think that with age comes wisdom and the confidence that many young women don't have yet. A woman who is secure with herself is very sexy.

  11. I'll be 50 in December, and I feel sexier now than ever before in my life. I know my husband of 28 years would agree.

    It's all in acceptance of self, and attitude. I'm still the same chubby little red-headed woman I was a few years ago, but men notice me now, even the young ones, where they didn't before. Could it be my kinky secret smile, and that extra knowledge in my eyes? It all about the attitude.

  12. I'm in my mid 50s and feel sexier than I ever did in the early years of my marriage. Part of it may be not having small children underfoot.

  13. I'm at the latter end of the 50 something spectrum and it's only now do I feel that I'm at my sexual peak. 38 years marfied to the same man and faithful until last year. I peaked alright. Several times!

  14. Wow! It is great to read the comments of so many older women feeling so sexy about themselves.

    I must say I really liked Baby Man's comment. When a woman is older she *does* have a certain confidence. She knows who she is, what she wants and what is important and I think that is very sexy and allows a woman to live her life with a special vibrance. But, as Baby Man said she can't be the same young girl she was once was. It doesn't work for a man to have those expectations of her and when she is freed from that and wanted for what she can now give, she glows and has something very special to offer him.

  15. I have trouble putting into words what it is about older women that is so sexy but there is something there. Definitely older women are sexier.

  16. Hey FD, I'm over 50 and I have to say I feel sexier now than I did when I was say 25 and much more confident.


  17. > The bottom line is that a woman is sexiest
    > when she feels she is at her sexiest

    I'm afraid I don't agree with this. Go to any club at three in the morning and you'll meet a lot of women who feel very sexy.

    Isn't sexiness, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder? It's hard to say what makes someone sexy. Health and happiness help, but they're surely neither necessary nor sufficient.

    It's a good question, though. I like thinking about it ...

  18. I am with the rest of the crew... now over 50..I am more uninhibited and comfortable with my sexuality then ever before.

    I do think I was insecure as a young 20 or 30 something.. but now, I think that sparkle in my eyes is the glow of a woman who likes herself.

  19. Women are sexiest when they are smart, funny and comfortable with their sexuality and sexual wants/needs. The rest is just superficial.

  20. I will be 46 in abt a month and I'm still going into the sexy thing. I think I feel more sexy with each year.