Saturday, November 6, 2010

Curvy is Sexy

I have long lamented the fashion industry's obsession with skinny models who look like they need a good meal or are suffering from an eating disorder. The problem is that it makes normal women or plus sized women feel they aren't measuring up.

Which is why I found a story by Stacy Lipson on quite interesting. She said she hated her body until she read Meg Cabot's novel, "Size 12 Is Not Fat.'' She also wrote a sequel about size 14.

She then finally looked at herself without clothes in a mirror and said she was beautiful. In her vocabulary, flabby was replaced by voluptuous and muffin top (haven't heard that before) with full-figured.

She ended by saying size 12s are beautiful just the way they are. "the choice to see yourselves that way is all yours.''

I enjoyed that insight and hope you do too.



  1. FD,
    What's funny is if you look at all the famous painters pictures from the past the women are very curvy. Back then it was what was desired. I wish we could go back to that era. So much heartbreak among young women would be eliminated if we all could love ourselves even if we weren't in a size 4.
    Great post,

  2. This topic always makes me giggle.
    As a model (a leggy size 0...which isn't even really a size), I see the CRAZY hypocritical side of this world. And I'm ALL for bigger models! While I may look GREAT at my photo shoot, wearing some $1000 dollar piece of clothing that no one can really afford...I have a secret for you...IT DOESN'T FIT! It's been altered to fit me, because I dont have hips. I'm 23 inches around! You can't expect me, or anyone like me, to have hips. This happens A LOT! The clothes made for the models are too big! Where is the sense in that?!?
    It would make more sense to use more naturally sized. I honestly can't figure out the reasoning behind using someone tiny like me. I can't find clothes in the real world. Clothing manufactures make FAR more size 8's than size 0's. So why not use a size 8 model?
    I think, no matter what your size, if you can look in the mirror and say "I look DAMN good!" Then YOU LOOK DAMN good!!!!

  3. I struggle with this a lot. I hate my body and weight. I know I'm not fat, but I'm not as thin as I wish I was either. It doesn't help when others comment on it. I think it's partly a problem with women and partly a problem with men who idealize the small figure. Just my thoughts.

  4. AMEN...

    I am so tired of the skinny girl being thought of as attractive.. no meat.. no tits.. no ass..

    Isn't that a boy?

    Women should def be curvy... and it's time that America stopped glorifying "skinny" and embracing normal.

  5. Janet: Every time I go in a museums and see the paintings of the past masters (wonder if any of them were dom ins real life) with very curvy full-figured women, I often wonder how skinny models became the norm. Can't figure it out.

    Jen: Yeah, I can't figure out why they don't use size 8 models for size 8 clothes. Strange. But I loved your last line that if women look in the mirror and say they look DAMN good, they will. If women would only stop putting down their looks.

    belle: I wish you could become more comfortable with your weight. And sorry to hear that people comment. How tacky is that. But trust me, not all men idealize the small figure. This man likes a curvy full-figured woman.

    Jen Fooled: You are preaching towards the choir about being fed up with skinny women with no meat, no ass and no tits being considered attractive. This man wants to fondle curves. If only we could embrace normal.


  6. My problem with the whole "curvy is sexy" mantra is that some girls naturally *aren't* curvy. It really makes me mad that some people look at me and think that I am unhealthy or unattractive just because I'm thin. The fact that I'm slender in build does not mean that I'm not normal and does not mean that I'm not attractive or that my man doesn't enjoy being with me.

    It really doesn't make sense to me that people will bitch about how society won't accept full-figured women as being sexy, and then they turn around and berate someone like me, who eats regularly and excercises, for being skinny.

    Why can't we just accept that some people are slender and some people are curvy and leave it at that? Just because I am skinny doesn't mean that I have an eating disorder.

  7. TrueBlue: Sorry, I didn't mean to put you down for being thin. Actually, in your society being thin tends to be the way most women want to be and the kind of woman that most men want.

    I was just making the point that too many curvy or plus size women are put down for not being thin.

    Yes, it would be ideal if we could just accept the fact that some women are slender and some are curvy and accept it as that. Let's hope we get to that utopia.


  8. It really is a matter of personal preference. I just wish that the media would give a more well-rounded view (pardon the pun) of women's shapes.

    Having been everything from a size 2 to a size 16, I can safely say that a size 12 is exactly where I am supposed to be. I'm not built to be a runway model, although I have the height for it. I'm built for curves and strength.

    I love my ass. I love my tits. I love my thighs. I love my jiggle.

    There. I said it.

  9. This one woman I used to date would obsess about the scale number when she would weigh...

    She told me, 'I weigh 150 lbs!!!"

    I told her she was the sexiest woman that I knew... and it was true... she was fucking HOT. But she didnt believe it.


    That's too bad...


  10. So many times people will judge only by the cover, and miss out on the brilliance that can be found inside those matter what shape or size.
    I do agree, as a larger woman myself, looking at magazines, the pictures presented as the norm, I will never, ever be "THAT" woman.
    Does it bother me? No.
    I love who I am, and those who dismiss me because of my size, well frankly - it is their loss.

  11. Nobody loves larger, older and dominant women more than I. As Al Gore would say, "I invented it!" I will say however that no matter how beautiful larger is, we should all be careful not to let our health go down the drain due to our size. Also, women and men should both be concious of their size afecting their mobility. If you're mobility is compromised due to your size, your attractiveness begins to decrease and quite frankly, you should be worried about your health. If getting on your knees is a struggle or getting on top is too hard a task, your not far from needing one of those little electric carts to get around. I have to say, watching a woman roll by in one of those isn't attractive.

  12. I am a plus-sized woman and I have ALWAYS been proud of my size (no matter size what it was).
    What I find disappointing or concerning is that the "skinny" women, size 6-12 ladies are so self conscious and constantly call themselves FAT. I ALWAYS wonder what they think of me inside their heads.
    I am bi and I have found that my head is being turned by a woman with some meat on her bones. Those curves being hugged by jeans, skirts, and sweaters makes me stare harder.
    FD, great post once again.


  13. Well, some women are sexy, some women aren't sexy. Men ditto.

    Contemporary culture certainly likes to heave in on people's private affairs (how much they weigh, what they eat, are they "healthy" "enough"? How much they drink or smoke,... ).

    I think "muffin top" is more about someone who tries to squeeze themselves into eg jeans that are too small - so their flab kind of overflows. The same person in clothes that fit would look fine. The term is more about vanity than weight.

  14. Pink: Great to see you say you love your ass, tits, thighs and jiggle. I wish more women could sy that.

    Shoes: If only we could only get women to appreciate the way they are.

    Raven Red: Great attitude. It is their loss if they dismiss you for the wrong reason.

    Married sub: Not to get off topic but Al Gore never said he invented the Internet. He said something like he helped funding for the military project that became the Internet. Anyway, yes, we should be concerned about our health.

    PV: Your friends know how sexy you are regardless of your size. Great that you are proud of your son.

    Perfect: Thanks for the Muffin Top explanation. I get it now.


  15. so long as the girl in question is healthy, I really do not care what the size on her skirts read.

    Be well,

  16. A great topic, Florida Dom, thank you for writing about it.
    I found what Jen said (at the top) fascinating. I never knew that.
    I think, like the others, that weight and curves/less curves are all up to the individual. Some people adore one shape , some adore another shape. I just do not like being told what shape I have to conform to. I love it when i hear a specific size of breast in "in" this season. How silly is that?

    I am a UK size 12-14 and that is what I will always be when I am healthy and happy. I tried to be slimmer and I cannot do it. I get obssesive, unhealthy and gain weight because I fight my natural self so hard. I have curves. I am learning to love them.

    Great topic, thank you

  17. Very refreshing to read. I am on myself a lot with my weight. I should be happy where I am at. :)


  18. It's taken me a long time to get used to being a size 14..I used to be size 6 and was unhealthy~

    I do finally love my curves and even the lumps and bumps.

    Great topic~!

  19. there are 3 billion women on the planet who do not look like a super model and about 12 that do. Seems like the model is wrong. I love the curves or the non curves of a healthy body and women who know that what they have is great whatever it is.

  20. Yes I agree with curvy is beautiful! I if a man would prefer them over skinny. I just think having been on both ends of the spectrum think size really shouldnt matter as long as it is healthy for that person. I am 5'2" so being very large wouldnt fit me and couldnt be healthy. There is too much for anything and anyone. Being comfortable in ones own skin is important. It so unfortunately controls so much of how we react to ourselves, our relationships, and the outside world. Hard to feel sexy when you just dont feel it yourself.

  21. As I struggle to do CrossFit, I'm very happy to see so many positive comments about women who aren't skinny. I want to be fit and toned, not necessarily a reed or willow. I'm not thrilled with my body but will be soon! That y'all say that having a "woman's body" is desirable is very uplifting.

  22. I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker yesterday. She said she wanted to ask me a question. "How can I turn my husband on?" She told me what he wanted her to wear, but that she didn't want to do that because she was "too fat." She's full and curvy and quite beautiful.

    I asked her this question: "If you dressed like he wants you to dress, what would the effect be on him?" Of course, she said he'd be really turned on.

    I asked: "If he gets really turned on, what would that do to you?"

    She said, of course, that she'd be really turned on.

    Would she feel beautiful then?


    That's where the focus needs to be. Women are beautiful.


    More beautiful depending on how she carries herself because of confidence in what she does with her body.


  23. I'm 'plus sized' and I'm happy with myself. It took some time to get there as I used to be a model but had an accident. I find theses days though that men are more turned on my my ample breasts and ass than ever before. If I'm out with my best friend who is a size 6 and 5foot she is stunning with long flowing red hair, I'm the one that gets chatted up and flirted with not her, I thinks it because I'm comfortable in my own skin, she says it's because I ooze classy filth at 200 meters lol x

  24. Anything under size 12 is just too damn skinny!

  25. Hello. I just came across your blog and really liked this post. I'm not going to pretend like I know what's like to be overweight, but I do know what it's like to "feel" fat sometimes. I'm a size 0/2 and healthy, but there's no way I'm going to look like a model in an ad because I can't walk around airbrushed.

    I hate how media sets these unattainable and unrealistic standards, and I wish the emphasis would be on being healthy as opposed to flawless.

  26. Something about this topic this month.... I think healthy looking girls are best. For some that's a size 2-4, for others it's a size 14-18. (US sizes). As long as they aren't starving themselves (like Heroin Chic back in the day) or over eating to the point of obesity - sorry 600 pounds is just not sexy in my book - they are cute. Some people carry weight better than others, and some people look better in a size 4 than I ever would (I'd look like I was starving, others seem to carry it very well)

    Having a debate on my blog about this very thing (sort of). Feel free to join in :P

    Love your posts!

  27. Love this topic! The feedback on this is really uplifting. Was wondering if any men out there enjoyed spanking a larger, rounder, more plush and curvier hiney! And yes I'm a "lurker" -although I think that's such an unattractive term and doesn't fit ME at all!