Vanilla Men

I want to thank all of you who leave comments because I enjoy your insight. And sometimes the comments lead to other posts.

This is one of those times. In a comment on my last post, Cultivated Discipline wrote, "A lot of men within TTWD seem to like to be serviced. Vanilla men seem more involved in the process and are more participatory.''

I thought that would be a great point for a discussion. What do you think? Agree or disagree?

She also wrote, "At my age, most men I date have long track records with one woman. Many of their ideas aare tied to what she did or did not like with their own experimental fantasies sprinkled in if they're brave.''

Your thoughts? I can understand this comment. I don't know if I'd know where to start with another woman after being married for decades.

FD

Making Sex Wonderful

There were many interesting comments on my last post about the Nanny rating her lover. One of them was Poppy's comment that it's a "silly idea'' to think that "men are responsible for making sex wonderful rather than it being a joint venture.''

I thought I'd throw that out there for discussion.

I know that some men get bashed for being oafish slam bam, thank you mam lovers who don't put enough time and interest in satisfying their partner and just think about themselves. Or do most women find their lovers are considerate and want it to be a joint venture? Or are there some days when women aren't turned on regardless of what their lovers do?

My experience is that my wife warms up quickly or not at all just depending on her mood.

Your thoughts ?

FD

Being Publicly Rated by a Lover

I want to thank all of you for your perceptive comments on cheating. It's a complex subject and i respect all your opinions.

So this blog will be a followup after I read online that Jon Gosselin's nanny went public with their affair and said they had sex nine times (she counted, I guess).

I must admit I had never heard of their show until the reports of the breakup started and I watched snippets and all I could think of was that I felt sorry for the kids to have these two loons as their parents.

But Jon having an affair with the nanny was to me just stupid. It would have been bad under any circumstances, but here they are making a lot of money exploiting their kids and he risks everything by having an affair with the nanny (and what did she see in him, by the way? I guess being on TV makes you a catch.) knowing that it could become public.

Anyway, the kicker to all this was her comment about the sex. "It wasn't terrible but it wasn't the best I ever had,'' she was quoted as saying.

Oh, what a public putdown. Don't all men like to think they're good in bed and are pleasing our women? I know I do. Fortunately, my wife never had anybody to compare me too. But I digress. To have the nanny tell the world he wasn't that good has to be so embarrassing. But then he probably deserved that shot.

Again, though, I feel sorry for these kids when they grow up and learn about all this.

Your thoughts?

Cheating

There was a front page story today in the NY Times on David Vitter, the Republican Louisiana Senator. For those of you who don't follow politics or even live in the U.S., his name showed up in the client list of a Washington prostitution ring. He has refused to address the issue except to admitting to a "very serious sin'' at a brief news conference.

The point of the story is that Vitter may win re-election in 2010 despite all that because Louisiana is a GOP stronghold.

But what caught my eye was a quote at the end of the story from a Morgan Goudeau, described as a Democrat who was a D.A. in St. Landry Parish for 24 years.

He is quoted as saying, "The Cajun mentality has never admired someone who is untrue to their spouse. But if it's going to be done, it would be better done with a prostitute than with a neighbor's wife.''

I'm curious to what your thoughts are about that quote. To me, cheating is cheating regardless of whether you do it with a prostitute or as Gov. Sanford did, with the South American woman he called the love of his life.

I can't imagine too many spouses buying the argument that it was only with a prostitute.

Your thoughts?

Woman Avoids Lashing

A few posts ago (you can scroll down to find it) I posted about the first woman in Malaysia to be sentenced to be caned for drinking beer in public.

Now there's a report in the New York Times about a woman who was fined the equivalent of $200 for wearing pants in public in Sudan but she was spared 40 lashes.

The story said Sudan's leader are eager to normalize relations with the US and other Western countries so they decided to spare the lashing.

Diplomats from five European countries howed up at the courthouse along with a throng of women protestors wearing pants. Several counterprotestors wearing beards also showed up and police broke up the demonstration and carted away more than 40 women.

The woman, a 34-year-old widow, is a career journalist who recently worked for the UN. She refused to pay the fine as a protest and was whisked off to jail. She said she'd rather spend the month in jail than pay the fine and could explore conditions in jail. A commitee formed for her defense may pay the fine and free her.

Sudan law says that anyone "who commits an indecent act which violates public morality or wear indecent clothling'' may be fined and lashed up to 40 times. The lashing is done with a plastic whip and can leave permanent scars.

Meanwhile, back in Malaysia, the 32-year-old woman sentenced to six strokes of a rattan cane had it delayed because of Ramadan. She had wanted the caning to be done because she said she wanted to move on with her life. Two other Malaysians who suffered the same fate have filed appeals.

In Malaysia, Muslins, who make up 60 per cent of the population of 28 million, are forbidden from drinking alcohol. Other religious groups are exempt.

Hard to believe all this is happening in the 21st century.

The Date from Hell

Saw a blurb in the paper the other day about a woman meeting a 23-year-old guy at a casino near Detroit. They go out on a date a week later even though she only knows his first name, which is false. Near the end of the dinner, he says he left his wallet in her car and asks for her keys. He speeds off in her 2000 Impala (imagine stealing a 2000 car) and stiffs her with the restaurant bill.

Since he had sent a photo to the woman's cell phone with his phone number, the police had no problem arresting him.

Can you imagine a worse date? I wonder if any of our readers have any dates from Hell stories they want to share.

I never had a date like this. I'd just get frustrated when I thought the date went well and she didn't want to go on a second date.