Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Being Publicly Rated by a Lover

I want to thank all of you for your perceptive comments on cheating. It's a complex subject and i respect all your opinions.

So this blog will be a followup after I read online that Jon Gosselin's nanny went public with their affair and said they had sex nine times (she counted, I guess).

I must admit I had never heard of their show until the reports of the breakup started and I watched snippets and all I could think of was that I felt sorry for the kids to have these two loons as their parents.

But Jon having an affair with the nanny was to me just stupid. It would have been bad under any circumstances, but here they are making a lot of money exploiting their kids and he risks everything by having an affair with the nanny (and what did she see in him, by the way? I guess being on TV makes you a catch.) knowing that it could become public.

Anyway, the kicker to all this was her comment about the sex. "It wasn't terrible but it wasn't the best I ever had,'' she was quoted as saying.

Oh, what a public putdown. Don't all men like to think they're good in bed and are pleasing our women? I know I do. Fortunately, my wife never had anybody to compare me too. But I digress. To have the nanny tell the world he wasn't that good has to be so embarrassing. But then he probably deserved that shot.

Again, though, I feel sorry for these kids when they grow up and learn about all this.

Your thoughts?


  1. I also had never heard of them until the tabloids ran the story of the affairs. I still havent ever watched one show of it, all i could think of was like you, poor children and who in the world cares! But here in the States we seem to thrive so much on others misfortunes, sad really. Lust and lies sells and the programmers of these types of shows know that. Shame, huh?
    Nice blog, thanks Sir.

  2. Brisels: Yes, my heart goes out to the children. But I wonder why people do these reality shows. And, yes, the programmers know that lust and lies and people making fools of themselves sells. But what does it say about us that so many people watch them?

  3. I think that any "public rating" someone gives to their lover in a situation like this is skewed because the person doing the rating is trying to hurt the other. Is he really *that* bad in bed? I'm guessing probably not. I'm sure the nanny was either trying for a low blow, or wanted to make it sound as though she is somehow less guilty than he is for cheating ("Yes, I slept with him, but I didn't *enjoy* it.").

    I have seen about one full episode of this show and immediately realized that the mother has every personality trait that I despise in a woman, and the dad is the kind of passive guy I have no patience for. I feel quite sorry for the children as well. They didn't ask to be born to loonies, and they sure had no say in whether or not they wanted to be exploited so their parents would be able to afford to raise them all.

  4. I watch that show often, more or less because i've always been a "people watcher". I can sit at the mall and just watch people for hours. I dont think it makes me a horrible person, I think it makes me human and real. As for Jon, yes He's stupid but I almost feel like He was beaten down until He just exploded and started doing things he might would never have considered otherwise. MY hope is that he's just lost currently and will find his way back. As for Kate, she is a control freak who got caught in the lime light and realized how much she loves it. It doesnt make them HORRIBLE people. As for the kids, i've seen children in MUCH worse situations so, I cant say that they need to be better take care of. No parent is perfect even if they think they are. If someone did a reality show on your life would you be proud of what you saw? I wouldnt. I know I wouldnt. Its easy to judge someone who puts themselves out there to be judged but I think we all need to look at ourselves more than we do at others.

    FD- thanks for the email *hugs*, i shall be around a bit today if you want to talk more.

  5. FD, The kids are cute and there are lots of them which is amusing to watch, similar to a basketful of puppies or kittens. The dad is passive the mom is type A on steroids. However, I don't do quitters and I think if you make a bed you lie in it. It seems cowardly that the dad's response to their issues was to walk away and say she was mean to him, lol. Be a man and get back into the fight but to leave? Now he uses the noteriety for his own entertainment opportunities, beach parties and what have you, lol. And apparently sleeping around.

    Recently, I posted on my blog about something similar in my own life and normally I really do not suggest discussing size and prowess unless you can find something nice to say. But this man, who still has a wife, was seeing two women simultaneously. Both of whom seemed to think she would be landing in the catbird seat of his life. One even lost a job over the whole sordid mess.

    That is what it is, messy. He is living a messy life and he seems incapable of considering the impact his decisions have on those around him. The same lack of sincere care and concern he shows for others comes back to bite in the funniest of ways, in this case damning with faint praise.

    His kids probably won't care. They will not be impressed with his immaturity but I doubt they care past the direct negative impact the divorce is having on their lives. CD

  6. It does seem to be something that some women think it is OK to do- to judge a man by his sexual prowess. I have never read a man judge a woman in the same manner (some men do judge women but in different ways).
    Maybe it is the (in my opinion) silly idea that men are responsible for making sex wonderful rather than it being a joint venture.
    It seems rather ignoble to me.
    I am a Brit and know almost nothing about this couple so cannot comment on them other than that.

  7. Never heard of the people (again the Australia thing) but he sounds like a fool. Children always suffer for their parents mistakes, what a shame. And it sounds like he deserves the sexual putdown. What a classic.


  8. True Blue: Yes, the nanny was going for a low blow but I think it has to sting for a guy to have his love making ability downgraded in public. I think it's the ultimate putdown for a any guy.

    Kitty: I'm also a people watcher so I don't think that makes you a horrible person. I find people very interesting. One of the fun things about blogging is meeting people and talking to them. And there would be things in my life I wouldn't be proud of being shown on a reality show. But if you're going to go on one of those shows, you have to realize you're in the public eye and act accordingly, which I think is one of the many reasons he was all-advised to have an affair with the nanny.

    Cultivated: Yes, it's very messy and he doesn't seem to realize the impact of what he's been doing. I worry about the kids when they're of school age. You know how cruel kids and be and I can see them being put down by other kids because of all this.

    Poppy: I'm surprised they haven't shown the show in Britain because i think people in any country could relate to it. We have a cable channel called BBC in America, which shows British shows here and they've also ripped off versions of many British shows here although this one would be hard to duplicate to find a couple with 8 kids.

    And I found your comment very interesting that sex enjoyment should be a joint venture rather than the man being responsible for making it wonderful. I may turn that into my next blog post.

    Milla: Do they show many American shows over there? And while it was tacky of her to say that, I figure, like you, that he deserved the putdown.

    And, again, thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming.


  9. Grr. I watched the show when the one-hour specials turned into a weekly series. The sextuplets were just babies and I loved the show. I've only watched random episodes of the last couple of seasons, though.

    That being said, I am not well informed on what has been happening recently. I doubt that their affairs have been discussed on the show, so I try not to pay attention to what the paparazzi likes to throw out there. So Jon got with the nanny and perhaps Kate really did get with the security guard. Whether it's true or not, they don't deserve to be treated this way. It's incredibly harmful to the children and I believe the show should end for that reason. However, just because it is off the air, it doesn't mean that they will immediately have privacy back in their lives.

    I agree with everyone that the affair(s) shouldn't have happened. But keep in mind that it is one hour of their lives that is shown each week. Everything else that we get to see is dependent on those that get paid to create drama so that everyone will tune into the show and read the magazines.

    My two cents. :)

  10. I never watched the show, and didn't care one whit about the mom & dad's marriage falling apart. as for the nanny's "tell all" I hope she enjoyed her 15 minutes of fame.

    I'm not sure what people expect to happen when they become famous and are constantly in the public eye. I, for one, would love the money and amenities, but couldn't stand all the attention. I only like to be the center of attention if I put myself there.

    I feel really, really sorry for those kids.

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  12. Fd Sir,

    In regard to the comment the nanny made..I had an Aunt who used to say if you lay down with dogs don't be surprised when you get fleas.


  13. I've heard it said the the maximum damage a man can commit on a child is to have an affair with the nanny. The selfishness involved in diverting her attention from the children to himself is the consummate self indulgence. Of course the man's infidelity to their mother is hideous. A woman who would conduct herself in such a self sabatouging manner is obviously a wench who would be as classy to 'screw n tell'. I am sorry for being so judgemental - until I walk that path I can't say... but there are circumstances I avoid based on my own thoughts of prudence and reason... and yet .... I have this spanking blog... with a feed that reads Middel Aged Health Issues in my task bar - in fervent hopes they'll not discover mommy's turn ons .... hmmmmmmmmm

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  15. I agree with others and think the whole divorce/cheating business is ridiculous. These people shouldn't have gone so public, and should have just shut down the show when it had all happened.

    Those children need their parents now more than ever, and I think they should have been consoled better.

    I never did agree however with the show, and don't think it is wise to have TV cameras invade your lives and privacy.
    If they wanted children as bad as they seemed to have wanted them, they should be making every effort to be the best parents they can be and not exploiting the fact they have sextuplets and twins!

    Just my opinion however, very interesting topic and post FD!

    Mrs M

  16. Oh sorry one more comment. I watched them a few times and was struck by how Kate was constantly removing Jon's balls (verbally) . I noticed when they renewed their vows (lotsa good that did) Kate was discussing her need to work on letting Jon be the HOH - -too little too late!!

  17. Can't really comment on this FD don't know anything about them. What on on earth possess people to do these reality shows.

    It's the children I feel sorry for.


  18. Mouse: The dog fleas line is a good one.

    Ceta: Don't by shy. Come back and give us your thoughts.

    KayLynn: I don't think you're being judgmental in your comments about having an affair with the nanny. On top of everything else, a terrible lack of maturity. And mommys never want their kids to know their turnons even if they're vanilla ones. And the younger ones don't understand it and the teen-agers can't imagine their mommy having turnons. LOL.

    As far as your second comment, I wondered why he married Kate in the first place. Maybe her domineering met a need for him at the start. Or maybe he had a mother like Kate. It's said we often marry a person with the worst atributes of our parents.

    Mrs. M: I don't think people realize how the cameras are going to change their lives and by then they're hooked on the money and fame.

    Ronnie: Some people are drawn to cameras like a moth to a flame. They think it's going to make them happy. They don't realize you need to find happiness within yourself.

    And again, enjoyed all the comments.