Tuesday, October 20, 2009

To Shave or Not To Shave

I promised a lighter topic this time although I want to thank all of you who read and commented on my last post.

Anyway, I thought it was time to write about women shaving. What prompted this topic was the lovely PK writing about her husband shaving what she called her kitty. I have to admit that sounds like a great scene to have him do it. I wonder if any of our other readers have a man in their life interested in doing it.

But I'm also interested in the whole topic of women shaving. We now take it for granted that women shave their armpits and legs, but how did it start? Googling the topic, one theory is that Gillette started an ad campaign from about 1915 to 1920 to convince women to do it.

Shaving down there is, of course, a much more recent phenomenon. In fact, in BDSM fiction, it was considered a kink like 30 years ago for a dom to tell his sub to shave and now it's mainstream and waxing is an industry. I've heard theories that brief bikinis was one reason it got started. The interesting thing was that when Playboy first started, it wasn't allowed to show any bush. It was a taboo.

So I just thought it'd be interesting to see if anyone wants to ccomment on why they shave or how much they shave. Do women like being shaved or do they do it for their man? Do they shave completely, leave a landing strip, just a trim or not shave at all. And do they wax or not? And do they find it a pain in the neck (wrong metaphor lol) to do it. Do our male readers like it or not?

One of my younger colleagues told me most women he slept with shaved but one who didn't the first time they had sex had shaved by the second time so some younger women feel it's the thing to do when they have a partner, but don't bother if they don't.

As far as my views, I'm kind of ambivalent about it. I remember the days when it was such a taboo that I can find the unshaven look appealing. But then the shaved look can also be enticing.

So I'm throwing the topic out on the floor. I'm not sure whether many people will want to comment, but I feel we often share personal stuff on the blogs so I'd see if there is interest in commenting. At the very least, I think the topic will get a lot of hits.

Your thoughts?


  1. My husband shaves me. Firstly, I adore the attention. I bet that's a surprise! Secondly, if he does it, he shaves me as he wants me, which works for me, too. I think a litte hair is more appealing than none, frankly. It adds a touch of mystery, in my opinion.

  2. I hate shaving because I have very sensitive skin and I am prone to ingrown hairs (so TMI!). So if it were left up to me, I'd sport a nicely trimmed pussy. But because it seems like it's expected that a woman shaves these days, I do when I know I'm going to be with someone. I've tried the waxing thing twice - I don't think the girl knew what she was doing because I spent 2 days with a cold compress on my sensitive parts.

    I am, however, dying to try a Brazillian - one of my best friends said she'll never go back.

    I think many women shave because of expectations, not necessarily because it is what works for them.

  3. If it's a woman I'm going to be sexual with, I very-very much prefer clean shaven. I think it's more aesthetically pleasing. I enjoy seeing a woman's pussy, and it's much-much easier without hair. I also enjoy the touch, feel and taste of a woman... and again, all that is easier without hair.

    I think there is a little something naughty about it too. There still is a taboo to it, and the idea that a woman was 'thinking ahead' is appealing too. And... I think it touches on being a submissive act (I'm speaking generally here).

    I have shaved several women too, and it's something I very much enjoy doing. It can definitely be kinky fun, ;)

    Now, if I don't have a sexual relationship with a woman... and it's just a spanking relationship... it's really not a big deal.


  4. Wow I could do my own post on this but I'll give my thoughts to you: My first half shave *sigh* over 30 years ago when I hadn't ever heard of it. My fiance pops my but on the counter and tells me he heard this from the older married guys at work... I'm naked from the waist down... I get the bottom part shaved & then it was a male Lewinsky moment!

    Two summers ago sitting carefully on ground with short summer dress on I make silly remark to shock a friend/ER doc related to averting his eyes unless he wanted to see my braids or barrettes...(btw he usually starts shit not me) He said "I thought you were under 35!?" (he was obviously drunk - but I like to repeat it). Point being that in his world ALL women he saw at work had NO pubic hair under age 35!

    Personally I think keeping some for propriety is important - oh and there's the need to confuse the ER docs!

    Let's see I overshared and bragged... I must be done now. Sorry I have to post Anon on this one.

  5. When I was married, it was a common practice for my husband to trim me up for his enjoyment. Once I discovered that I was in fact a submissive, my 1st Master ordered me to shave. Let's just say that it didn't go how I imagined. My skin was extremely sensitive. Ouch! Then, I tried having it waxed all off at the spa. Really not that bad except a little painful and expensive. I felt like I was throwing away my money because it just came right back a few days later. That's when I went out and purchased some rich cream, nice razors, and some sensitive skin lotion for aftershave. I honestly can't imagine ever growing it all out. It's now a habit to shave several times a week so that I am nice and smooth. In fact, one of my lovers also completely shaves himself! I recall one of my 1st serious lovers after my divorce shaving me for Valentines Day. It was very erotic and exciting ;-) I'm sleepy and feel I am rambling.. Sorry!


  6. goodness....um my Master likes me neat, but not shaved. I guess in between if that's possible.


  7. I actually started shaving long before I knew anything about this lifestyle. I just hate body hair (on myself anyway). It's just a nuisance and makes me so uncomfortable (physically). Shaving is a hassle, though, so I'm gonna give waxing a go.


  8. i had been shaving completely before i knew about this lifestyle and when i met Master He preferred it shaved also, so thats the way its stayed.. i love being totally smooth- i love how my skin feels so soft, so velvety..im not bothered by shaving at all, its a part of my bathing routine. i cant imagine ever letting it all grow back.

  9. I had never once thought of shaving until I started reading blogs. I thought it sounded sexy and kinky. When Nick started reading blogs too he liked the idea and tried it one afternoon. I love the actual shaving and the smooth feeling was so unusual it kept my mind on Nick for several day as I got used to the feeling. I have still never shaved myself - but Nick can any time he likes.


  10. Vesta: Glad to hear your husband shaves you. It's very intimate. I think if a man wants his woman shaved, he should do it himself and spare her the trouble since he wants it.

    Aurore: I suspect that some women shave for expectations. I think they should only do it if they want to and if a man in their life wants it, she should tell him he's welcome to do it.

    Todd: Thanks for your insight although I don't know if shaving is much of a taboo anymore because it's so mainstream. And I thought most spanking relatioships incuded sexual relationships. Have you had many that aren't?

    Anon: Good line about confusing the ER docs. And I'm surprised you were shaved 30 years ago. I think it was considered kinky in those days.

    Kitten: Glad to hear you found a way to shave that works for you. And interesting that you have a lover who does it, too.

    Mouse: I think in between is probably quite common. A neat trim but not a complete shave.

    Spirited: I hope waxing works for you. And if you don't like body hair, I can understaand why you get rid of it. I think women should do what they're comfortable with.

    His Flower: I'm glad you're doing what you like. It's interesting that some women like to be shaved and others do it for the men in their lives.

    PK: Thanks for the blog idea. It's gotten a lot of comments and hits. And I hope Nick keeps taking you up on your open ended invitation. I think it's very intimate for the man to do it.

    Thanks for all the comments. The great thing about blogging is that we can let our hair down (pun intended) and talk about perronal things. I hope the comments keep coming. All you lurkers out there, stop in and give us your take.


  11. FD, Interesting topic. One thing that bothers me is the current fashion trend that all women should look like pre-pubescent girls - shapeless and hairless. That isn't reality and I have some real reservations about men who insist upon it! Many women have curves and hair and like it! Meow

  12. I trimmed up until I got involved with my first dom. That relationship didn't last long, but I've been clean-shaven ever since. My current dom has never specifically told me that I needed to keep it up, but he likes that I do it without being told to. Now that I'm so used to having no hair I can't go back. I find it uncomfortable and visually unappealing.

  13. Well .. lets see.
    Hubby #1 liked me trimmed very short..not bad but tough on the upkeep.
    Hubby #2 likes me trimmed but not so short.. fine with me.
    One hated any shaving at all.. i didn't like that.. just too "hairy"
    Another shaved me.. which was lovely but i didn't really like the look. too much of the little girl look.
    Current one.. has not told me one way or the other.
    This topic does seem to bring out the ramble in me!
    And btw, i am not a serial sub despite the sounds of my post~~

  14. I agree with you that if the guy wants it, he should do it. I've been requested to, "because smooth is such a turn on."
    Well, I'm blind as a bat and a total klutz. I'm not sure that a band-aid covered crotch is going to be the sensory experience that he's anticipating!

  15. My wife has a full bush of hair (I'd love if she tried to shave, wax or trim) and most other women that I've been with (escorts and otherwise) have been bare or trimmed. But honestly, I love cunnilingus so I would go down regardless of hair or bare.

  16. For me personally, I prefer that I am shaved.Since I have so very little natural body hair anywhere on my body except my head, that means I had very little natural pubic hair also. Since it was already so fine and sparce, I started shaving it clean a LONG time ago before I actually heard of anyone doing it. My girlfriends and I all did it. That must have been almost 30-32 years ago. I have just kept it like that for the most part...occasionally allowing a small "landing strip" to grow but ALWAYS shaved the lips. For several years my husband took delight in doing it for me, and playing afterward of course.But he hasn't done that in some time now and just relies on me to do it myself.I think I should see if I can get him to do it again. LOL. I recently completed having laser hair removal treatment underneath my arms for the little bit of hair that was there, and have been thrilled with the results. Maybe I'll just get laser treatment for the pubic area as well since my esthetician at my dermatologists office does it also.

  17. It never occurred to me that someone might not want my little red curls until I started reading BDSM blogs and learned about it. Maybe that's because I'm so old! The philosopher, who was in his late 30s (much much younger than me) would ponder over what he wanted to do. We'd have fantasies of his taking me to have it waxed under his controlling eyes. At that point I started trimming it close but not shaving. I, too, have problems with nasty ingrown bumps from shaving delicate areas (including the higher, inner edges of my thighs).

    Other men don't seem to mind. Perhaps they enjoy the novelty of a red bush. Plus it seems to have thinned somewhat. There are parts of me that do manage to betray a bit of age.

    All that matters now is what my Master the sadist wants. And he doesn't speak of shaving it.

    He just wants to flog it.

    (A footnote on the issue of shaving arms and legs: my mother was born in Romania right after the family escaped from the Ukrainian pogroms, and grew up in an immigrant community in new York City. As a teenager, she'd stare at the American girls around her and wonder why none of them grew hair on their legs...)

  18. This was about the first area he wanted to address when I asked my husband to be in charge. Still experimenting to see what he likes best.

  19. Meow: I can't imagine how shapeless got to be a fashion trend. It's one of my pet gripes and I think I'll do a blog on it in the future. I call them starved models who look like they need a meal or have an eating disorder. I think women should have curves. By today's crazy standards, Marilyn Monroe would need to lose weight. I don't get it. As far as hair or bare, obviously some women like bare. But I don't you're the only one who prefers hair. I wish a few more women who do would comment.

    TrueBlue: If bare works for you, that's fine. I think a woman should do what she's comfortable with.

    Ron: I agree that going down on a woman whether she's hair, bare or trimmed is always enjoyable.

    Nancy: Thanks for stopping by again. You should start your own blog. It soounds like you've had various combinations of hair and/or bare.

    Jz: I agree entirely that if a man wants his woman bare, he should do the shaving. I find shaving my face a drag so I can understand why a woman might not want to to do it herself.

    Pinkpoppet: Since you don't have much hair, getting rid of all of it sounds reasonable. And you're the frst to mention laser treatment but that avoids having to keep doing it.

    Oatmeal girl: I guess he enjoys flogging it whether it's hair or bare. Are the floggings a turn on for you? I think a red bush sounds interesting since it's different.

    I thought your comment on your mother wondering why American girls didn't grow hair on their legs is a sign of how shaving or not shaving is such a cultural thing. Somehow, in our society, a woman shaving her legs became the thing to do but I'm not sure how it happened.

    Greengirl: Let us know what he likes best.

    And I've enjoyed all the comments. Keep the coming. And so Meow doesn't feel alone, I wonder if some women or men who like hair would like to comment. It'd be interesting to hear your point of view.


  20. FD, This a touchy subject for me - the blurring of the lines between women and children. I know most people don't see genital shaving in that light and I'm happy for them. The flip side of the problem is children who dress and behave as adults. I really hate to see a 10 year old girl dressed in a skimpy top and skin tight jeans. I guess I'm lucky that my daughters weren't into that, but some of their friends were and it was very sad.

    One more note: Do any guys out there shave "down there"? I've had my share of pubic hair in the mouth and I guess I can live with it as long as it goes both ways. Maybe another topic for you, FD? Meow

  21. FD, LOLOL! You just never know which topic will spark the biggest response do you? I am making a post for you :) CD

  22. Before Master I stayed trimmed, but not shaved. Like others who have commented, it made me wonder if men that liked it were really wanting little girls. But then, Master. I don't shave, as my skin is sensitive, but I use an electric razor and keep it as smooth as possible...which is quite smooth.

    Master also shaves.

    And I heard on one of those doctor shows that it's actually cleaner for a woman to stay shaved...less odor and less mess during "that time."


  23. My FD, interesting post and comments.

    I read ages ago about a women whose boyfriend shaved her, I thought it sounded quite sexy so I sent the link to P and he tried it and yes I loved having it done but P doesn't mind either way if I'm shaved or not.


  24. I've been through a bit of a progression in my relationship with my own body hair.

    I shaved my legs and armpits as a teenager, as it was just assumed that's what you do. When I began going to Uni doing an Fine Arts course I began to study feminism and feminist theory. This made me question a lot of things including why we shave and expectations of the female body.

    So for about 5 years or so I didn't shave at all. It was kind of tough standing up for what I believed in. People would have quite a strong reaction to my hairy legs and armpits.

    When I grew up a little I began to become more feminine, wearing shorter skirts and make-up, and eventually the hair disappeared. I got sick of being the hairy woman, I just wanted to fit in.

    I was married at this point and my hubby didn't care about the hair, but I do think he enjoyed it when I finally shaved. Then I began to trim my pussy hair and didn't turn back.

    Trimming then turned to waxing and that was even better. I did try shaving but I HATED the stubble grow back. My hair grows fast too so I would have the pussy version of 5 o'clock shadow. I also get fearful having a razor so close to my pussy.

    Waxing is great, you are pretty much smooth for about 4-5 days and then the hair that does grow is soft and much thinner. I have half the hair I had a year ago.

    I prefer bald cause I like the feeling. I touch myself constantly when I first get it done.

    I couldn't go back to hair now. I've thought about laser, and I may make the investment one day.

    As for guys I like them to trim as hair in the mouth is unpleasant. I think this is the main advantage and reason that pussies have become more hairless. Men are perfoming oral more and it's fair enough to ask for easier access to the area.

    Master likes me waxed, but I'm usually the one that freaks out when it's time for a wax. Even a few hairs seem like a lot to me now.

    Funny the full cirlcle I've travelled. The main thing is you are doing what you want for yourself first, and then others after that.

    Ooops, long comment is long.


  25. Meow: I do plan to do a topic on men shaving although some of the comments on this post have already addressed it.

    CD: You had a very interesting post on the subject on your blog and I hope the bloggers who read your comment will go to your site to check it out.

    Butterfly: I think an electric razor is a good idea to avoid cuts in a sensitive area.

    Ronnie: As I've said it's great when the man in a woman's life wants to do it himself although he apparently is content either way.

    Doll: I didn't feel your comment was long because it was interesting. I found it interesting that there was a strong reaction when you had hairy legs and armpits. My feeling is that women -- and men -- should do what they're comfortable doing.

    This post has certainly generated a lot of interesting posts and I think everybody who commented and if you haven't, let us hear from you.


  26. There's just one person in my life that I trust to trim my bush and that's me. Some times I go have a bikini wax, cus I love the hot wax sudden pain thing!

  27. Master likes a landing strip, He figures that is harder to maintain than shaving completely bare (and it is). So everything is totally smooth apart from a thin line. I always seem to go off centre and make a mess of it though, particularly if I wax or use hair removal cream as that is almost impossible to not "go over the edges". As it is difficult to maintain and takes longer the whole "ritual" serves as a reminder to me of His ownership and control, which is exactly why He insists on me having it that way.



  28. i dont shave anything. havent shaved since 1972. funny thing alot of men love it that i dont shave. hated shaving from day one. razors; shaving cream; nicked skin; etc, etc, etc, the hair does not get long. very soft to the touch. turns a golden color when in the sun. women and men shaving kind of grosses me out. reminds me of little girls and boys. yuck.

  29. after the fact - a shaved woman looks nothing like a child - not even a little bit - it was one of the worries way back when - once done, it becomes quickly apparent that a woman is a woman is a woman....i go back and forth - when in the dynamic, always shaved (first shaved more than 22 years ago!) for numerous reasons, some of which were mentioned above, but mostl becuase NOT to means my jewellery gets lost.

  30. Indigo: Sounds like you enjoy the pain of a hot wax.

    Rosie: Sounds like the landing strip he wants you to have is a symbol of His ownership and control. And it sounds like you enjoy it, too.

    Jam: Meow will be interested in knowing that another woman doesn't shave.

    Selkie: Yes, a woman is a woman is a woman. And you wouldn't want to lose your jewelry.

    And, again, I enjoy all the comments. Thanks for sharing.


  31. Well when I was married my husband took it as his duty to keep me shaved. I don't recall when it started just that it had to be done his way. It was amazing when we divorced and I met my first Dom to discover that he didn't want me bare. Even more amazing when I met Master and he was adamant that I had to have a bush. I think now the xxx has gone mainstream it has lost it's rarity value. Now the bush is an endangered species deviant personalities can demand it. I certainly had questions asked this week about why I had shaved my 'whiskers' off for the photos and it didn't take him long to hone in on my vanity.

  32. Doll: Interesting observation that now that hsaving is mainstream that your Master wants you to have a bush. Interesting how things go back and forth.


  33. My Master is far away and so much of our play and training and such happens via cam. As I told an incredulous friend of mine "when your partner wants a better view you give it to him!" But I couldn't bare the idea of going at that area with a razor, having cut myself shaving my legs often enough, so I offered to try waxing. I love it now and would keep it even if he didn't want it. But knowing that I do it for his pleasure is the best reason.

  34. Delilah: It's interesting how many women want the bare look regardless of what the man in their life wants. And waxing appears to be a good alternative if you're worried about cutting yourself in such a sensitive area.


  35. I shave my underarms/legs because it makes me feel more feminine--men also prefer it. However, I don't like looking like a 12-year old, so I leave my mound trimmed very short, but shave on the lips. My niece who is 21 has told me that "hair is gross", so I suppose most younger people (men & women both), shave all the way smooth.

    Once my sister & I were at the beach with my niece, and we saw the sexy line of hair going from a man's belly button trailing down below...and we both commented how hot it was. My niece said, "Oh gross...hair is gross." Not an opinion I share, by the way.

    Now, I would shave bare for a significant other if he wanted it, and if it would not be uncomfortable for me, but my pref is some hair on the mound.

    A. :)

  36. Goddess: Thanks for your input. It's interesting how there are so many different opinions on this subject.


  37. Shaving using the straight razors or double edge razors means giving myself the closest shave possible. Plus, it is also giving myself time to unwind. I could say that most of the time, I get my wonderful ideas while shaving. Thanks for sharing!

  38. I shave my wife. Being married almost 33 years and submissive over 32 years I learner she like when I bathed and shaved her. We both get in the tub and I lovingly care for her body. She trusts I will shave her smooth and later I check with my tongue.