Sunday, April 25, 2010

Pleasing Your Partner

I was just reading Aurore's blog ( and she said in answer to a question that she'd prefer to make her partner cum than cum herself. She said her level of satisfaction was higher if she made her partner cum than if she came herself. She said she was more into pleasing her partner than pleasing herself. She said she likes cuming but preferred pleasing her partner.

I thought this was an interesting topic so I thought I'd ask the readers: do you agree or disagree?

Of course, I would think the ideal is that you both cum but do you prefer making your partner cum than cuming yourself?

Your thoughts?



  1. When it comes to me I prefer to know that he cums as well. Granted by the time he does I've already cum several times, but if for whatever reason he doesn't get off as well I feel as though I've failed him somehow.

    In fact Master figured out early in our relationship that I really work hard to make sure he gets off and has used that to his enjoyment:
    "May I cum sir?"
    "Not until I do"
    but he knows full well he isn't going to get off at that time (for whatever reason) so he just sits back and enjoys watching me work at trying to get him to cum.

    I see it as my job to please him, somehow I feel as though I've failed if he doesn't get the same satisfaction that I do. After talking to him about it I've found that this isn't the case, he enjoys fucking me whether he gets off or not. Back to the original question though, I feel better about myself, my job as his slave and comforted a bit if I know that I can please him just as thoroughly as he pleases me.

    Hmmm rereading what I wrote it looks like I'm in for more training. I've got to learn to quiet that voice in my head and trust Master more. If he enjoys watching me squirm and struggle to get him off just as much as getting off then what the hell am I so worried about?
    I think I think too much sometimes...

  2. I absolutely agree with Aurore. It doesn't make that much of a difference to me whether I get off myself, as long as he does. At the beginning of our relationship, my master was always concerned about me having an orgasm, but I think he's now realized that, for me at least, I don't have to cum to be satisfied.

  3. By making My former submissive satisfied it would in turn make Me satisfied. If she wasn't satisfied then I wouldn't be.

    At least that is what I tried to do in O/our relationship.

  4. I agree...I too am a 'giver' and don't mind if I don't cum, his satisfaction is far more important to me than mine. And in one relationship, this was to the detriment of the relationship. All he wanted to do was please and satisfy me and vice versa for me

  5. i would much rather Master get off than me...i have a hard time cumming anyway, but i still feel and get all the joy and satisfaction without an orgasm. i love the feeling of Him before His climax- i love hearing Him as He explodes....
    sorry, i drifted off a sec just thinking about it all gets me hot!

  6. I have to go with the general consensus here. I do generally get to cum, but it is more important to me that Brandon does even if I don't. That is where my satisfaction comes from. I do see it as my duty to make sure he is satisfied in that way and if he isn't I feel like such a failure. I don't really know what his thoughts would be on this because we've never discussed it before. I know he likes to know I've been pleasured too, but I can think of a few times when I didn't cum and he didn't seem to concerned about it.

  7. Hi FD
    I like to make sure my sailor man cums, and is completely satisfied. That is very important to me.
    Although I usually cum with him. He always makes sure I am satisfied.

  8. Yes, I am perfectly satisfied making my parner cum. That makes me really happy that I have managed to please him. I hope I orgasm but it isn't a deal breaker if I don't. It's weird, I don't want a guy to work overtime to make me orgasm just because he views it as tit for tat. If he cares, we will work it out. It shouldn't be approached like we are going dutch on a date or something.

  9. I wholeheartedly agree with Aurore! :) My Daddy has trained me to make his orgasms my first priority during sex. I am to make him feel as good as I possibly can, whether or not he allows/commands me to cum. My greatest pleasure during sex is giving him an amazing orgasm.

    All training aside, I have to say although I REALLY enjoy cumming, if I had to choose between the two of us, I would always choose for him to cum. From what I've read of the responses to your post so far, I'm definitely not alone! :)

    Take care,
    Baby Girl :)

  10. Yes I feel the same way. The good thing about Master having accomplished the art of orgasm without ejaculation is that I know he gets many orgasms but still I just love to hear him ejaculating and am disappointed if that doesn't happen too. I feel incomplete without that final spurt from him to me.

  11. Something very sexy about a nice, earth-shaking orgasm....whether it's mine or his.

    Sex with the person I live with is about him, and does not last long. Women usually have a tougher time than men do in this area. So...when someone does take the time to try and unlock my inner slut and find my somewhat elusive O....they are rewarded heartily.


  12. I am in the same place, I can only feel pleasure when I have achieved pleasuring him. My pleasure is not complete without his being achieved.

  13. Hi FD,

    I was just about to check you out when I saw that you have been checking me out. lol

    I very much liked your entry on PK`s side.

    And thanks for the nice comment on my side.

  14. I love it when Sir cums, i love the whole expereince but he prefers to make me cum so i have to accept that i only get the treat of him doing it when he wants to not when i want him too.

  15. ariia: Not surprising that he enjoys fucking you whether he gets off or not.

    TrueBlue: It's nice that at the beginning, he was concerned about you having an orgasm.

    Sir: I can understand how you weren't satisfied if your former submissive wasn't satisfied.

    Petal, Hisflower, Alice, Lil Sam, cultivated discipline, Baby Girl: You all seem to agree that as Baby Girl said, his orgasms are your first priority.

    doll: I can imagine that you enjoy that spurt from him to you.

    southern girl: obviously you like it when someone takes time to try and unlock your inner slut and find your elusive O.

    Masters Muse: I can understand your pleasure isn't complete without his pleasure being achieved.

    Lawyer: Welcome aboard and how interesting to have a blogger from Germany joining us.

    Katie: It's good that he prefers to make you cum.


  16. I must admit that there are times when I feel the need to get off more than just the desire, usually because I am very stressed. Overall though, I definitely get more satisfaction in pleasing my partner. Lucky for me. He finds my pleasure important as well.

  17. Viemoira: It's good sign that he finds your pleasure important too.


  18. Me first. I'm a baaaad girl. But I do like making him cum, but it's so easy for him. But mainly our sex sessions are all about me. And I'm good with that. He takes most of his pleasure in getting me off. And since all he really has to do is stick it in to make that happen, we're both VERY HAPPY.

    I'm very spoiled. And I like it that way.