I don't know if you saw the story on the elusive search for a so-called Viagra for women pill.
On Friday, the FDA will ask a panel of experts to weigh in on a drug for premenospausal women who report a lack of sexual desire. But the FDA reported that two studies showed the drug failed to show a significant increase in sexual desire. And it noted side effects, including dizzyness, depression and fainting.
Part of the problem is that women's sexuality is so complicated. They reported that for men it's a "major mechanical concern,'' mainly blood flow to the penis.
It said the FDA has approved a handheld vacuum device that increases blood flow to the clitoris to increase sexual arousal. But i don't know that simply increasing blood flow to the clit will do it for many women.
It also said up to 40 per cent of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
My take on all this is that women's sexuality is much more powerful than a man's. They have more erogenous zones. They can have multiple orgasms easier than a man. But the problem is that what else is going on in a women's life has a big effect on her sexuality. Men are always ready for sex.
But if a woman is exhausted from working all day and then has to handle the kids and dinner, she may not be ready to jump into bed. And then there are the men who, frankly, don't know how to treat a woman in bed. They're either clueless or selfish and just want their own pleasure instead of slowly bringing a woman to a sexual high until she's so aroused that she's begging for more. A good lover should make sure the woman gets pleasure before he cums himself.
Even the story quoted a female professor as saying, "In most cases lack of sex drive has more to do with the quality of a woman's relationship and lifestyle than brain chemicals.'' I think men who know how to treat a woman can help solve the problem easier than a pill.
And I think women who aren't getting pleased by the men in their lives should speak up instead of just waiting for him to finish.
Anyway, I am curious to hear your thoughts.
UPDATE: A federal advisory panel last Friday voted unanimously against recommending a drug to treat female sexual desire disorder, but it encouaged the company to continue its research. A staff report also recommended against approval because the drug's impact was "not just robust enough to justify the risks.''
FD
Virtue
1 hour ago
NOT GOOD
ReplyDeletewhile viagra (sildenafil) is quite popular among men, the drug has a diff mechanism of action, affecting mostly the penis ( side effects ranging from head ache ) female viagra tends to affect your nervous system. meaning they are more along the lines of antidepressant drug therapy. they have more side effects , less efficacious and are more trouble than they are worth. so in two words NOT GOOD
personally i feel sexual interest is something that is better improved with the right partner than by taking drugs.
if your interested check this out
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/sexual-and-reproductive-health/articles/2010/06/16/flibanserin-failure-female-viagra-drug-disappoints.html
sorry if i got to technical! :)
and oh it's true that for most men sex is on their mind but kinda opposite for women. i mean the majority goes the other way. not to say that quite a few women are really comfortable with them.
ReplyDeleteAlujna: I couldn't agree more with everything you said and I don't think you got too technical. Yeah, I think sexual interest for women is improved with the right partner. And I doubt a pill will ever work for them. For me, giving a woman pleasure is the ultimate sexual high, but unfortunately some men don't seem to feel that way.
ReplyDeleteFD
Reading the blogs of women who have discovered the joys of their bodies in later life I feel that lack of interest in sex by women is largely a product of poor body image and/or poor quality love by their partner. Undoubtedly there may be a need for older women to use herbs or pharmaceuticals to increase blood and lubricant flow to the genital area following menopause but joy in the moment comes from emotional and mental relaxation.
ReplyDeleteViagra doesn't always work for men, it fails if diabetes or smoking has damaged the nerves and blood vessels. For both women and men it might be more valuable to promote the message that both smoking and diabetes will lead inevitably to impotence and loss of sexual function.
I think its in the mind more than the body. With the right partner you will naturally have the right state of mind, a lot of the time, but not all.
ReplyDeleteThere are other pressures in life, as there are for men too and if the mental state of either the woman or the man is not right, then no pill will correct that.
In my opinion its a two way street and if the traffic flows well both ways, women can continue to have sex and enjoy sex until very late in life.
I dont think that men should all be tarred with the same brush, that is to say some men cannot or do not want to perform when they are stressed or worried or whatever. So I think its not really fair to say that all men want it at anytime... though I accept that is the case for many.
Sorry to have gone on so long!
Jayne
I agree totally that women's sexual desire is tied into their emotions but I would also say the same for many men. I think it is sad that if a man has difficulties with his sex life we pop him a pill and say, "Get on with it!" I think some of these men could maybe be helped with some long, slow, drawn out attention and fun. I know there will be exceptions to this but men are complex beings too.
ReplyDeleteI think forplay begins when you wake up in the morning and you go thoughout the day. Then by the time you are ready for bed she will be ready for you....
ReplyDeleteI agree, a woman's lack of libido is more likely to be physiological rather than physiological. Mentally feeling turned on and sexy is the hard part...turn the mind on and the body will follow and its fair to say that there is no pill for that, a good lover will do it tho!
ReplyDeleteI agree women's libidos are more likely linked to psychology than physiology. I might add that it isn't just how the man is a lover but how he is as a life partner. We aren't joking when we say its a huge turn on to see our husbands/partners doing dishes/laundry/childcare. When they can relieve some of our daily stresses, we are free to tap into those pushed down and locked away physical yearnings.
ReplyDeleteI think the comments above are interesting. My ex-lover thinks his wife went from woman to mother after having the kids. Her libido changed dramatically over the years. And I know he's taking care of the kids, helping with dinner, chores, cooking, laundry, etc. Still, she just can't match him.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I think about sex every day, every hour. The older I get, the more I think about it. My husband is total opposite of me. Go figure.
Interesting question though, I read that article recently.
Hey if the FDA wants to start handing out vibrators they'll get my vote. Pills are another story entirely. No thanks. I will say though that since becoming a slave and no longer having the option to say no, goes a long, long way for me. And of course, Master paying such close attention to my body and therefore knowing exactly how I like it, helps a great deal too!!!
ReplyDeleteGood post!
Xoxo,
--ariia
I completely agree- I think that the biggest thing that effect my sex drive is stress- a man that knows how to treat a woman and has been with her long enough to see the signs of stress and offer assistance or an outlet is more likely to get her in the mood.
ReplyDeleteI had to comment! Sexuality and libido is complicated for women, and I can only speak as a woman, not for women. For me, I have seen both sides, the loss of libido and the spectacular and ecstatic awakening of my sexuality in more recent times..thank god!!
ReplyDeleteMen are wonderous creatures that frustrate and elate me. I love male sexuality with a passion and male sexuality is the key to my arousal. I am lucky to have a man in my life who takes responsibity for my orgasm before he cums..(most times!)
A bit like spring flower above..I think sex morning, noon and night. x
Hello FD,
ReplyDeleteLet Me be selfish and tell you that, hopefully, My submissive does not need any pill to get arousal and to enjoy :-)
Maître K.
I had to come back here to have time to write the comment.
ReplyDeleteMost women are not hard-wired like myself. I want sex ALL the time.
It isn't about the sex for most women, period!!!! It is about the connection with the Significant Other (SO). You know women are taught to give themselves to the one who loves them and she loves back. We are taught not to just give it to just anyone, give to the one you plan to be with forever and all that other stuff. They want to feel appreciated, respected, sexy, wanted and all this leads to the giving of themselves to their SO.
Now when a man does all this and is a selfish lover now you have a whole other can of worms. Men who don't take the time to show their SO some mutual appreciation in bed will not get back all she can offer, so a pill is not going to be convincing for her. It amazes me how many men out there are like this and not willing to explore the woman's body to its full potential.
I don't think the pill will be as big a hit...It will not fill the void a woman is looking for. For some men sex is sex so just doing it is just fine, hand them the pill. Hell I know plenty of men who take it and don't need it, not sure what the value is but they do it.
I will be interested in more about this and its true effect on society.
PY
I dont think that men should all be tarred with the same brush, that is to say some men cannot or do not want to perform when they are stressed or worried or whatever. So I think its not really fair to say that all men want it at anytime... though I accept that is the case for many.
ReplyDeletedoll: yes, a poor body image and/or poor quality love by their partner can be a problem.
ReplyDeleteJayne: You're probably right that the it's more the mind than the body. And, yes, it is a two-way street.]
Poppy: Good point on men being complex beings.
reina(TR): Yes, foreplay does begin when you wake up.
Petal: Yes, if the mind is turned on, the body will follow and a good lover can do that.
mad: Yes, a man who helps around the house can be a huge turn on for women.
Spring Flower: How nice that you think about sex every day, every hour and hard to figure that your husband is the total opposite.
ariia: Yes, having a Master who pays close attention to your body and knows exactly how you like it helps a lot.
viemoira: Yes, a man who knows how to deal with your stress can make a big difference.
LittleOne: How nice that the man in your life takes responsibility for your orgasm before he cums. If more men were like that, there would be more happy sexually satisfied women in the world. And good to hear you think of sex morning, noon and night.
amasterandhissub: Good to hear she doesn't need a pill.
PV: I bet the men in your love the fact you want sex all the time and are happy to oblige.
V. Aigra: You are really clever with that name. Do you want to return and tell us who you are. LOL. Yes, it is not fair to say all men want it anytime but enough do to create the stereotype.
It is fascinating how some us (gals) rarely orgasm, others it comes quite easily. Some are multi-orgasmic and some need time to recover. Some women squirt others do not...
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder science and psychology trip all over themselves here trying to sort through this stuff. Interesting.
southerngirl: Yes, it is interesting how different gals have different reaction when it comes to orgasms or squirting. I guess women are just very complex sexual beings.
ReplyDeleteFD
I can only agree with most of the commenters above. Like Spring Flower, I am blessed with a strong sex drive, and cursed with a husband who is the opposite. And also like Spring Flower, my lover does almost everything in his own household, and is little appreciated for it. In face, I'd say appreciation is a great aphrodisiac.
ReplyDeletemarianne: Yes, I would say appreciation is a graet aphrodisiac.
ReplyDeleteFD
I agree... I think the quality of both partners' sexual relationship would be much better if the nature of the relationship was worked on and stressed... Kinda like Marianne says up there, a bit of appreciation for your partner goes a long way...
ReplyDelete~shoes~