How Important Is Sex in Marriage

Can you have a great marriage without having great sex or even very good sex?

I pose this question because of a blog post a couple of months ago (sometimes I put things on the back burner) by Cliveskink on cliveskink.blogspot.com.

He was responding to a post on thesubmissivebf.blogspot.com about a radio pesonality who always talks about how he very rarely has sex with his wife. (Can't imagine a guy saying that on the radio). She posted, "What kind of marriage is it if you are afraid of upsetting your wife if you ask for sex, why would you stay together?''

Cliveskink said his wife is devoutly religious, was a virgin when they met over 30 years ago and they did not have intercourse until they got married. Their sex is very vanilla most of the time although he said they have had moments of hot sex that are few and far between. He said she has a low libido and added, "I am not sure how her low libido derives from her conservative upbringing or her hormonal imbalance or my ineptitude. I suspect a little of each.''

But he writes, "A wonderful marriage doesn't necessarily need common views on sex and we are living proof! Yes, I find it very frustrating sometimes but, I will always be hers and she mine. We love each other as much, in fact more than we did 30 years ago. We are soul mates, best buddies, partners in everything. We hug, we snuggle, we kiss and we adore each other. And I find Mrs. Clive incredibly sexy and hot -- indeed I still believe she is the sexiest and hottest lady in the world!''

He added, "The only area where we differ is our sexuality or 'kinkiness.' And it is something that I find very difficult to talk to Mrs. Clive about! -- As it always ends upsetting her. She feels guilty that she is not able to give me kinky sex, she feels inadequate, and she becomes tearful. The last thing I want is to cause her sadness, to upset her. So I kiss her tears away and keep silent. She would be devastated if she knew about this blog.''

Well, she seems to show a great marriage doesn't have to include great sex. I am curious what you thoughts are on the subject. Please share them.

FD

Sex Increases Heart Attack Risk

Now there's a headline to catch your eye.

Health.com reported that according to an analysis by the Journal of the AMA, exercising or having sex just about triples a person's risk of heart attack in the hours immediately afteward especially if a person does those activities infrequently.

Hmmm. So the next time the wife says she has a headache, the right answer is you need frequent sex to avoid a heart attack.

But then the fine print says the triple increase is from one in a million to three in a million. Now Nelson Rockefeller did die of a heart attack while having sex with his mistress (maybe more stressful than sex with your wife) but when you're talking about three in a million, the study doesn't seem to be worth much.

Still, it was an eye-catching headline.

FD

The King's Speech

I have to admit I was somewhat skeptical of a movie about a king who stammers even though it won the Academy Award. But I was blown away with how good the movie was. I recommend "The King's Speech'' very highly.

But the reason I am writing the post is because of the subplot about how he became King George VI when his brother gave up the throne for the woman he loved -- Wallis Simpson. She was twice divorced so he wasn't allow to marry her because he was the head of the Church of England. Henry VIII would have just started a new religion, but times had changed so he gave up the throne rather than give her up or have her only as his mistress.

There has been speculation and many rumors that they had some kind of a D/s relationship or were kinky in some way. At the very least, she was very domineering. The movie hints at it in one scene when Simpson taps her wine glass and the King goes to the wine cellar to find the wine she wants instead of sending the butler to do it. His official biographer called him "slavishly dependent'' on her. Now that could have many meanings.

Of course, we will never know, but kind of interesting to speculate. The Kinky King does have a ring to it.

FD

Life After Porn

I often wonder how women who were once in porn movies feel when they grow older. Do they regret it? Do they tell people they once did it? Are they proud of it?

Well, there was a recent case in St. Louis where a school teacher quit her job after a student quizzed her about her porn past. This was the second time. It happened to her five years ago in Kentucky when she was suspended. At that time she made several media appearances including on Dr. Phil and then changed her name to resume her career in a new state.

Since appearing in porn films isn't illegal, I feel she should be allowed to teach, but I guess teaching tends to be a sensitive job.

And the thing about porn stars -- do you notice they are always called stars -- is that they are like athletes. They have short careers.

And fair or not, I guess some of them have trouble living down their past even if it legal.

Or as Faulkner once wrote, the past isn't dead. It's not even past.

FD

SI Swimsuit Issue

As you may or may not now, the annual SI swimsuit issue came out in February. It is now so successful that it was once a feature in the magazine and is now a whole issue.

Like most males, I love to look at pictures of sexy women although the airbrushed quality of the photos make them somewhat unrealistic. But in this day and age when you could spend your whole day looking at pictures of sexy women on the Internet (not that I would do that LOL), I am curious why the swimsuit issue remains so popular.

One theory is that SI remans a respectable magazine to have in the house, especially since it often arrives in the mail.

Anyway, I would think the whole concept is obsolete as a time when many traditional men's magazines that show a lot more (after all the women in SI are wearing bathing suits, more or less) are losing circulation.

Maybe this only interests me but I think it is an interesting topic.

FD

Sex Dreams

A colleague of mine told me that he had a dream the other night that he had Miley Cyrus naked on the kitchen floor (of all places) and was getting ready to have sex with her when his mother, who has been dead for a decade, popped up and said, "You're not going to do that, are you?'' And he woke up and the dream was ruined. My first thought was, oh a blog idea. Couldn't tell him that though.

But I don't think I've ever asked about sex dreams so I thought it would be a good idea. Do you want to share you best sex dreams? And how often do you have sex dreams? Are they the same ones or different ones?

I hope we get some good replies.

FD