Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Stay or Leave

I find it interesting how politicians wives' react when their husbands are caught cheating on them.

For example, Hillary stayed and I think Elliott Spitzer's wife did too. John Edwards late wife left and so did Maria Shriver, the wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger, although why she married him in the first place, much less stayed 25 years, still baffles me.

Anyway, both Edwards and Arnold had babies with their mistresses.

So I thought the topic would be worth discussing. What would you do? What do you think of what they did? And is the husband having a baby with his mistress more of a deal breaker?

Your thoughts?



  1. I know I am a hyprocrate because I sleep with a married man, but if I caught my husband cheating I would kick his butt to the curb. Definately if he had a child with another woman while we were together.

    I believe that Maria Shriver and Hillary Clinton stayed because they had an agenda of their own. If they had left earlier it would have ruined all the plans that were already in motion for both parties.

  2. Let's not forget Arnold had his mistress and child living under his roof too. That's a lot for even a Kennedy to handle.

    Dunno how Maria didn't know, but maybe you just don't see what you don't want to. There could be religious issues at play, political ones, etc., with the women you mentioned.

    Great question tho...

  3. As far as Hillary and Bill are concerned, there have been stories that an agreement existed between the two of them... that as long as Hillary wasn't embarrassed, he was free to do much of whatever he wanted to do. I'm sure lying about it on TV probably infuriated her... from the standpoint that later that lie could be replayed over and over and over.

    Maria stayed for a short while, but I think the news of the child was more than she could tolerate. The Kennedy males were notorious for being womanizers...so she probably had some exposure to that kind of activity.


  4. Lots of married couples have arrangements, but once the affairs become public it is a little embarrassing for the women to admit such an arrangement exists.

    I've been around and with many awful men. Cheating never seemed like that big of a deal to me. *shrug* If my husband takes a fancy to another woman we would discuss it and I'd probably give my blessing.

  5. I'm not very jealous, but I'd be pretty upset about the being lied to part. He would know to just discuss it with me beforehand because I'm really open-minded. He's more the jealous one! I think if you are committed to each other, most anything can be worked out and dealt with, provided both are open to doing what the other needs to be happy (ie refrain from the behavior again, if requested.) And I think that trying to work on it, if you love each other, is admirable. I agree that I believe Hillary stayed because of her personal reasons, not for the marriage, and don't have an opinion about the Edwards marriage, because I didn't follow that whole thing. The baby thing, though... that would be pretty hard! Children are a commitment, and that would tie him to her forever. And what if she's just awful about money, me, him? That could be absolute misery. I honestly don't know WHAT I would do in that case!

  6. I make sure my husband gets what he needs and he makes sure I get what I need from each other so there is no need to seek out others. But if he did cheat, his ass would be out the door. There would be no excuse for it.


  7. If they had an agreement, it wouldn't be called "cheating". I could not respect nor live with a cheater or a liar.

  8. I would want to say I would kick him out but to be totally honest I'm not sure. Of course I would be mad, upset and the rest but if we'd been together for say 30 odd years I think it would depend on the circumstances.


  9. I don't think we can generalize about other people's relationships. However, it does seem that with politicians there is bound to be the added issue of how the news would affect someone's ability to be re-elected.

    On a separate end of it, we might also keep in mind that in some of these cases there are possible issues of sexual harassment - the effects of one person's having power over the other's livelihood. That comes up in the Ensign case as well, among others. A consensual power exchange is all very well in a D/s or M/s relationship, but that's a quite different situation.


  10. Interesting question - what would I do? I really don't know. As Ronnie said, I would be hurt, angry, and it may be a deal breaker for me. But until I actually have to experience it, I'm not willing to say. Too many years of living have taught me to never say never or always.
    As far as what others have done? Definitely different for politicians than regular folks, and whatever they decide I hope it's the best choice for themselves. I won't judge.
    That said, in general, I think it's harder to stay and live through it and attempt to work it out than it is to quit and leave. So I tend to respect those who are able to stick it out, but certainly understand when that's not possible.


  11. A child would make all the difference. A "fling" or even a stable secondary relationship would be something that could be overcome,with work, at least for me.

    Throw a child into the mix and and that ties my man to his fling partner forever, and by extension ties me to her as well. Not happening.

    It would be very difficult, but I think I could live with W having another woman, if we had all agreed to it in advance, and there was no deception involved. I would also have to like her. Trust her to keep everyones best interest at heart.

  12. My mother adopted my fathers love child. They are going to celebrate their golden wedding in July and my sister is the joy of both their lives. There were a couple of hard years for my mother as she looked judgmental people in the eye and then it becomes a non-issue. She felt she had far too much investment in the relationship to walk away from it. Certainly that is worth thinking about as she has not spent the latter years of her life as a single woman on reduced income but as part of a couple in very comfortable circumstances.

  13. So interesting! I think I'd be so furious that I'd throw him out.. given the Arnold/Maria circumstances. Seems to me he was just too sure of himself.
    I'm glad I'm not in a political family.. they seem to have special rules for their lives.
    Obviously it takes a very special woman to accept the husband's love child.
    I don't think I could do that.. but who knows?

  14. Florida Dom,
    Every relationship is individual therefore I will not make philosophical comments about how others lived their lives and or made choices. I will though share my own view point on my own relationship regarding infidelity. Master and I communicate daily and we speak of third parties that may or may not participate in our sexual exchanges and if Master wished to engage with another woman I am open to the idea and am wiling to consider it. With that said, if Master were to have a relationship or even a one night sexual escapade and not tell me about it or tell me after the fact my trust in him would dissipate and without trust I simply can not have a relationship. For me, trust is far more important than monogamy and having multiple sex partners is, for me and the relationship I share with Master, not a big issue.

    I personally do not tolerate affairs, whether they be of the heart or of the body. That is a hard limit for me and my spirit.