Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Woman Who Didn't Know She was Pregnant

I don't know if any of you watched 20-20 Friday night (and obviously our readers outside the U.S. didn't) so I'll give a brief recap.

It was a story of a woman in Michigan who had three previous children and put on 60 pounds for one of them gained only 10 pounds and had a full term nine pound, 10 ounce baby without knowing she was pregnant. She said she didn't have morning sickness, felt no kicking and had an irregular cycle so that didn't alarm her.

But one night, she was having cramps, gave birth in the middle of the night in her bathtub and they played the frantic 911 call her husband made. The dispatcher, a 36-year-old woman, was on the job for the first night, calmed him down as he said there was blood all over the tub, told him to get a towel and wipe the baby's eyes and face and a shoestring to tie the cord six inches from the belly. One of their kids ran to get a shoelace from his sneakers and then the father told them to get out of the bathroom. The paramedics were 20 miles away and the hospital was 25. The mother was worried the baby wouldn't be healthy because of the lack of pre-natal care, but he's completely healthy and is now almost a year old.

Now for the kicker of the story. The husband had a vasectomy six years ago. But the wife said to him, I know what you're thinking but don't go there and that was their only discussion. He went back to his doctor and being a typical male, he'd never gone back for a followup after having the procedure and the doctor said in a million to one shot his tubes had reopened. The husband didn't ask for a DNA test to prove the baby was his. He was convinced.

So if you saw the show or just read my summation, I'm wondering if any of the mothers out there gained only 10 pounds in a pregnancy and didn't look pregnant and if any didn't realize they were pregnant for a few months. And if the man in your life had a vasectomy and you got pregnant by him, would he be as understanding as this guy was.

Your thoughts.

FD

P.S. If you read the comments, there's a reference to a new web site that might interest you.

33 comments:

  1. I've heard stories about women giving birth and not knowing they were pregnant. It still is just as unbelievable to me. Amazing. This was an incredible story all around though, especially the vasectomy part, lol. I wish I'd seen the show.

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  2. For obvious reasons, I am posting anonymously.

    I gave birth to a child without knowing I was pregnant, 27 years ago. Unbelievable or not, it can happen, and does now and then.

    If her husband had a vasectomy, then she had no reason to even consider pregnancy, and hormonal changes as one gets older can have some of the same symptoms as pregnancy (i.e. breast tenderness, changes in emotional state, weight gain, etc.).

    Incredible yes, impossible, no.

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  3. In the comments on my previous post, there's a comment you might have missed because it's way down on the bottom.

    So I've decided to repost it as a comment near the top of this item.

    Jayne of Jaynessubmissivediary.com has started a new website as a directory for all of those in the lifestyle.

    It's called femaleslaveandsubmissivewomen.com and it's for female slaves, submissives, spankos, women in orgasm denail like she is, doms and mistresses et al. You can check out the site and if you want to be added, just add a comment or email her. If you do, she asked you to add it to your blogroll. Her idea is to have a one stop place for all of those in the lifestyle.

    She's a delightful British woman in her mid 40s who's new to the blogging world and thought it'd be a fun thing to do to get as many bloggers as possible in the community listed in one place so give it a look and see if you're interested.

    It kind of reminds me of what Bonnie does for spankos.

    FD

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  4. Kat5: You may be able to find the show on the Internet. I watched it on TIVO and was figuring I'd zip through some of that but it had so many twists and turns that I watched the whole segment.

    FD

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  5. ok.. first of all.. i used to go almost a year with a period ... and yeah i do believe it is possible to not know.. some babies don't move much...

    as for the vasectomy question..... i had had my tubes tied for 2+ years when i found out i was pregnant....... so yeah i believe it could happen.. the odds on my getting pregnant after a tubal were as high as the odds on the vasectomy shrug...

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  6. Wow, I wish I had seen that show. I do know a couple who had been trying to get pregnant for several years with no sucess. They gave up but she became pregnant and they didn't know it. Te wife even started running and dieting, lost 70 lbs during it all. On Christmas Day she "wasn't feeling well", when she went to go to the bathroom she realized she was about give birth. They had a nurse for a neighbor who came over to help. Their little boy is their Christmas miracle!

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  7. I've heard of this happening. I actually lost weight when I was pregnant, but the way my belly poked out it was quite obvious. But I knew of a girl who was really skinny... like size three skinny... who went through an entire pregnancy without knowing it. She started having some female issues in about the 8th month of her pregnancy. They did an ultrasound thinking it might be fibroids or something and it turned out she was pregnant. She had a month to prepare for a new baby. He was born perfectly healthy... full term, but was very small. Only about 5 and a half pounds.

    Her belly bulged out a bit, but she thought she was just putting on weight for some weird reason. Her belly never got any bigger than a woman normally would be in about her 5th month just as she's first starting to show.

    Oh and she still had monthly bleeding called breakaway bleeding, which is what occurs when you're on the pill (you don't actually get a period on the pill cause you're not ovulating). So she had no reason to think she might be pregnant at all... no symptoms, no nothing. Just some abnormal pain and bleeding toward the end.

    turiya (a.k.a. spirited)

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  8. Anon: Thanks for sharing. You're another example that it can happen. And I forgot to mention that in the show the woman said one of the reasons she never thought about being pregnant was her husband's vasectomy.

    Morningstar: You must have been surprised to get pregnant after having your tubes tied, but you're proof it can happen.

    Ally: Yes, that couple did have a Christmas miracle.

    FD

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  9. Wow, I've heard of that happening. Not to me, though; I had very hard pregnancies. My last one, I didn't suspect anything, but when I started getting very ill and fainting for no reason, I ran to get a test right away, even though it was almost an impossibility. It must be nice to not be terribly ill for 9 months, but not so great to not even know you are expecting until the last minute!

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  10. Turlya: I thought you were a new blogger until I saw spirited at the bottom. How long have you been using the new handle and does it stand for something. And it's nice that woman at least had a month notice insead of suddenly delivering in the middle of the night with no warning.

    Butterfly: Sorry to hear you had such tough pregnancy. You just never know how a pregnancy will affect a woman. Some have it easy and for others, it's an ordeal.

    FD

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've actually only been using it for the last couple of days. I posted about the reason for the change on my blog if you want to read it:

    http://spiritedmeanderings.blogspot.com/2010/04/its-been-really-hectic-couple-of-days.html

    turiya

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  12. turiya: As I said on the post on your blog, I'm sorry I thought the i was an I and that I didn't down to find an explanation for the change. I like the significance of the new name.

    FD

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  13. There is a show that airs sometimes on TLC that is actually called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" or something along those lines. I've only seen it a few times, but the most frequent reasons that the women I saw on it didn't realize they were pregnant was that:

    a) Their husband had a vasectomy or they'd had their tubes tied and so they just assumed that it was impossible to get pregnant

    b) They had a medical condition that caused weight gain or abdominal pain and just assumed that cramps/contractions/kicking stemmed from that

    c) They had reason to not be concerned when missing a (or several) periods (ex. approaching menopause or irregular periods)

    I think this is something that is actually a lot more common than most people think.

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  14. True Blue: I haven't seen the show but you may be right that it's more common than most people think it is.

    FD

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  15. My sister gave birth to her 5th child 18 months ago and did not know she was pregnant - or so says!

    Whilst I can accept that putting on weight or failure to menstruate can be thought to be put down to other factors, I really do not see how someone who has been pregnant four times previously could interpret a baby kicking and moving inside as anything else!

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  16. shapeshifter, actually... believe it or not it's easier for a person who's been pregnant that many times to not know they're pregnant. Things loosen up in there and you just don't feel it as much and some babies just don't kick or can be in a position to where their kicking can't be easily felt. Sometimes the kicking, depending on the position of the baby, actually feels like very strong bowel movements and nothing more.

    turiya

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  17. while I find it astonishing, I know it happens. I know TWO people who that happened to. One discovered she was pregnant at 45 (after trying in vain for 15 years to get pregnant had accepted she never would)- came in from the island where she lived for her yearly checkup ... and discovered she was weeks away from delivering! She had NO idea. She was a big woman and her periods had always been sporadic so she figured it was menopause!

    My nephew's gf thought she was having an appendix attack, was rushed to the hospital and gave birth to a 6lb 11 oz baby! NO idea she was pregnant.

    I know that my secnd baby was so quiet that I used to routinely stop by the doctor's office and borrow the monitor so I could hear her heartbeat and be reassured but I KNEW i was pregnant - the belly to me is unmistakable - I mean it's not squishy its FIRM.

    selkie

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  18. shapeshifter: It does seem unusual but, as turiya said, apparently some babies don't kick.

    Anon: I'm surprised the doctor's office let you routinely borrow the monitor but I'm sure it gave you peace of mind to hear the heartbeat.

    FD

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  19. My opinion is that the husband's vasectomy not taking is more believable than the wife not knowing she was pregnant. This, only because I worked for a urologist and know it can happen. I'd have to think the woman was fairly large and that could be an explanation. I definitely knew I was pregnant both times it happened.

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  20. nitebyrd: From the previoius comments, I think it can definitely happen that women don't know they're pregnant. I was surprised myself to hear so many examples.

    FD

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  21. With my first pregnancy, I had no idea. I was throwing up a fair amount but was also dealing with a lot of stress and an ulcer at the time. I kept getting what I believed to be my period.

    As for failed vasectomies, I personally know two men who have experienced them. In one case the sperm count was 10x after the vasectomy than it was going in. In the other, the girlfriend conceived fraternal twins about a week apart that were UNQUESTIONABLY the boyfriend's, who had undergone a vasectomy about 12 years previous.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I know you've had lots of posts about this but I couldn't resist telling the story I read. a woman went on vacation with her husband and her in laws to the mountains in tennessee and one day she started having some cramps she thought she was having stomach isssues over something she ate. It lasted all through the day and night. the next day she told all her family she was going to stay at the cabin while they went and sight seen. a few hrs later she had to call an ambulance. She still had no idea she was in labor after more than 24 hrs of intense pain. She delivered a healthy baby states away while on vacation.
    Now imagine that!!!!!
    I read the article in the paper awhile back but i've also seen the show on TLC that someone mentioned above

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  23. All four (sigh) times I carried to term I was HUGE. No hiding the fact I was major PG--and I weighed 120 lbs with my first child. She weighed 8#2oz. I find it hard to believe that this pregnancy was "unknown" until the kid (who's kid?) popped out.

    My husband has had a vasectomy and I beg him to wear a comdom so I won't even get PG by HIM.

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  24. A couple I know decided they had enough children, so the husband had a vasectomy. The wife was a medical technologist and personally checked his sperm count to verify that it was zero before they began having unprotected sex. But they had another child anyway-- his vas deferens spontaneously reconnected. So yes, it happens.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Biddable: You know first hand that a woman can be pregnant without knowing it and that vasectomies don't always work.

    jslittlelady: I hadn't heard that story but it shows it can happen.

    Martie: Yes, it is hard to believe but from the other comments I've gotten, it apparently does happen.

    Anon: Interesting that the vas deferens reconnected. Vasectomies apparently aren't as permanent as I thought they were.

    FD

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  26. Some women don't show only in their "bellies" when they are pregnant, and it has nothing to do with pre-pregnancy size! Some women simply get larger all over, and maybe in their tummies more than elsewhere but oftentimes it is seen by themselves (and others) as major weight gain.

    Some of these comments are ridiculous. Nobody is saying that EVERYONE who gets pregnant won't know it, but it DOES happen to relatively few, relatively selcom...but to enough, and often enough....that it should not be put down to "can't happen because it didn't happen to me or to anyone i know".

    ReplyDelete
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