Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Does a more equal marriage mean less sex?

This was the headline in a story in the NY Times that marriages in which men do housework tend to have less sex than marriages in which he takes out the garbage and cleans the garage.

And as women get to get more power in the workplace, they tend to want to be more submissive in the bedroom. This was directed more at vanilla couples. I know the readers here tend to want the submissive lifestyle, but I thought you might find the article interesting even though it is magazine length. Share you thoughts. Here's the link:


http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html?_r=0




FD

73 comments:

  1. How was your Valentines Day with your 'good girl'.

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    1. We had a great time and will blog on the weekend soon.

      FD

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  2. Already blogged about this but will be interested in your take.
    (I think there is a biology at work, and the situation is probably worse now than when the data for the study was gathered. 20 years ago, only people who consciously wanted "peer" marriages had them.)

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    1. My take is that relationships, marriage and sex are very complicated and it's hard to make sweeping comments. It's all about the two people in the relationship.

      FD

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  3. "Couples in which the husband did plenty of traditionally male chores reported a 17.5 percent higher frequency of sexual intercourse than those in which the husband did none. "

    Quote from the article. It has nothing to do with equality, or lack of, if he does the traditional male things. Does it? Maybe he's just better at those things because he grew up doing them. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex with a lazy ass. Maybe he looks sexy all sweaty from outdoor work. Maybe when he loads the dishwasher he does it all wrong.

    The article goes on to say " Isn’t marriage better over all when partners have equal power? (In my opinion, yes.) "

    My opinion, is that some marriages are better as inequals, and some are not. More sex, as the one defining feature of a good marriage? No. More women want to be sexually submissive? I doubt it very much. More women are expected to be sexually aggressive, and some of them just are not enjoying that role, imo.

    Way too many variables here to make good conclusions.

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  4. You make very good points. There are way too many variables to make good conclusions.

    FD

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  5. I scanned through the article but I'm not buying. I don't think who does the chores or who brings home the bacon makes a difference in how much sex someone has. If two people 'want' to make it work they will.

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. And then there's an unequal marriage like mine. My wife calls all the shots. Of course I knew my place before we tied the knot. I know I am better off as a wife/maid. :)

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    1. Hope you return and tell us how you became her wife/maid. Did you suggest it or did she? Is this your first time having a woman call all the shots? Sounds like the lifestyle is perfect for you.

      FD
      FD

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  8. It was Her idea, Sir. I was raised in a home with my mom and sister. I guess I learned how to do housework and cook naturally. Emily, my wife, wanted a sissy husband and she took charge from the start to see if I was what she wanted. I didn't realize how far she wanted to go with it at first.

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  9. Thanks for the info. You should start a blog and chronicle your lifestyle. Since you are a sissy husband, does she keep you shaved and wearing femme clothes at home while you serve her? You seem to accepted how far she wanted to go with it.

    FD

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  10. Interesting conversation, especially given what I just posted on blog somewhat related to this.

    Last year around this time there was a two month period where i was unemployed and the stay at home partner in my D/s relationship. Looking back, I don't think it affected things for us, sexually or otherwise. In some cases, we might have had more sex because I could order her home at lunchtime for a child free session. Those were, in a word, delicious. Kinda miss sending her back to work sore and freshly fucked!

    As it has been said before, there are a lot of variables to draw any definite conclusions. The aforementioned article does not mention D/s relationships, of course, and that in itself differentiates itself from the mainstream.

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    1. It is interesting that you blogged on a similar topic. And it must have been nice to order her home for lunch and send her back sore and freshly fucked. I agree there are a lot of variables and they didn't go into D/s relationships. It will comes down to what works for each couple in a relationship.

      FD

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  11. I do not work outside the home, Sir. my wife has a job that provides enough for both of us. At home I am most often in a maid's uniform. When I gout I wear ladies pants and blouses. It's clear I am effeminate. Maybe that was always clear, anyway.

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    1. It's nice that you stay at home and wear the maid's outfit. Do you get noticed when you go out wearing ladies pants and a blouses? It's perfect that you found each other because you are such a good match.

      FD.

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    2. I missed this question, Sir. I do get noticed some, although most people just smirk or ignore it. I have been teased some and even a flirted with by a few men. I am still getting used to that.

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  12. But the big question for Danni- do you have more or less sex now that your wife is totally in charge of the relationship? Or is it the same? And is this even a factor in the happiness of your marriage, or is it mainly the rest of the relationship that brings you satisfaction?

    Because I'm asking all these personal questions, I suppose I should not be shy about answering myself, huh? I'm a slave to my husband now, and we used to be vanilla. We have more sex and better sex now than we did when we were equals. This is because of two main reasons: 1. he has a high libido and wants sex a lot, and I'm not allowed to say no. 2. sex is far more pleasurable for me now, because being dominated turns me on, so I pretty much want it all the time. Our limiting factor is often finding time alone together.

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    1. The slave life certainly works for you since you have more sex and better sex. It's nice that being dominated turns you on.

      FD

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  13. My relationship with my wife was always about her needs. My sex with her is about orally serving her. For me this is enough. I am a sissy and my place is to serve her. I am allowed to cum when she allows. I used to masturbate a lot. The orgasms are more powerful now and pleasurable. I hope that makes some sense.

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    1. I should add that my wife uses a strapon on me at times, which I have come to crave. :)

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    2. It makes sense that your orgasms are more powerful now and pleasurable since she controls them and decides when you cum. You must do a good job of serving her orally. Do you miss not having your cock in her pussy? And do you cum when she uses the strapon on you? Your lifestyle sounds perfect for both of you.

      FD

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  14. I was a virgin when I met her. I have only have been allowed to penetrate her once and that was after were married for six months. She said she couldn't really feel it She has taught me my place in her life.I am allowed to cum at times wither strapon inside me. She says it proves what a sissy I am.

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    1. Has she talked about locking you in a chastity belt or does she control you so well that it isn't needed?

      FD

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  15. I am wear a cb-6000, which was my wedding present from her. She says she doesn't have to worry about me playing with her cock this way. It took some getting used to it. Do you have experience with sissies, sir?

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    1. I'm not surprised she keeps you locked because many wives/mistresses keep their sissies locked. Did she tell you in advance you were getting that wedding present or was it a surprise you would be locked once you were married? And are you locked 24/7 or does she unlock you from time to time?. You said it took some getting used to. Does it feel normal now wearing it and knowing you aren't allowed to play with her cock? I don't have experience with sissies but read some of their blogs so I am familiar with the lifestyle. Does she make you shave your body hair like a good sissy? You can email your reply if you wish.

      FD . ;

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  16. I am unlocked for hygiene reasons and if if she allows me an orgasm. I did not know I would be locked up until the day before the wedding. My body is smooth except for a small patch. I bet you can guess where that is. It does seem natural now but sometimes I miss masturbating. I will have to get permission to email you, Sir.

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  17. That was quite a surprise for a wedding present. Were you first locked on your wedding day? And I understand you need permissiont to email.

    FD

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  18. I should add that I think it works for me because I love having someone take care of me and make all the decisions. Things have happened that I never though possible, including be a sissy in public. Everyone knows now. It has been scary at times, but she knows best.

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  19. If it works for you, that's the important thing. Maybe you will get permission to email.

    FD

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    1. I forgot to ask, how do all your friends react to knowing you are a sissy?

      FD

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    2. A few no loner wanted anything to do with me. A couple said they always figured I was a sissy. Mostly the women were more comfortable with it. Mostly my world is now my wife's world and her friends.

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  20. When her friends come over, do you serve them in your sissy maid outfit? Do they know you are caged?

    FD

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  21. It depends. They have seen many times in uniform. Other times I am dressed as a sissy or in a skirt or dress. I don't have any other kinds of clothes.

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  22. So what is it like to dress as a sissy or in a skirt and dress in public? Do you get a lot of stares?

    FD

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  23. Being dressed as a sissy is more humiliating. I do get stares and comments sometimes. My wife says that comes with being a sissy. When I wear dresses or skirt I wear makeup and can pass a girl. That's actually easier in a way, Sir.

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  24. I hope no one minds but, I've been following these comments, because I'm nosy :). Danni, I think you dedication is amazing, I truly admire it. I think it is sad that you've lost some of your friends, it's sad they can't look past actions and see how happy you are--but such is life I guess. I love how you said that she's knows best... a lot of trust has to go into that and I admire that as well.

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    1. Thank you, Misty. The friends who left don't matter. My world is serving my wife. Being the best maid I can be. I think I was born to be a sissy servant/wife. I love feelig her control.

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  25. I second what Misty said. Your dedication is amazing. And you two are made for each other since you love her control. It's nice you can pass for a girl when you wear a dress or skirt. Do you wear anything besides the maid outfit when you dress as a sissy? And I guess you she decides what you wear. Are you a stay at home maid who doesn't work outside the home?

    FD

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    1. I am fulltime maid, Sir. I never earned much when I was working and she has a very good job. I have women's slacks, blouses and other clothing. I wear a training bra, panties and stockings.

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  26. So you clean the house while she is at work in your maid's uniform. Do you cook too? And go out shopping wearing your femme clothes? Do you makeup and lipstick? And what clothes, if any, do u both sleep in? And are you allowed to touch her in bed or only when you get permission?

    FD

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  27. Yes I wear a maid's uniform, usually one made for work. I wear lip gloss and some makeup, more when I am out as a girl. When I am allowed to sleep in my wife's bed I wear a short nightgowns. Usually I sleep in my room and wear girl's pajamas. Maybe it sounds strange to you that is the way she wants it.

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  28. It's not strange if that is what she wants. How often do you get to sleep in her bed and what does she wear?. And are you allowed to touch her if you are in her bed or hug her when she comes home from work. And do you do the cooking?

    FD

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  29. She usually wears silk pajamas or on occasion a silk negligee. Usually I sleep in her bed once a month, but there have been times when it was twice in a week.In her bed I may hug her, but she initiates. any sex. Most evenings when she comes home I curtsy when she arrives and massage her feet. She allows me to kiss them, which I adore doing. I do most of the cooking and serve her dinner. I eat afterwards most nights. She has me taking a cooking class. If I may Sir, I'd like to ask you how old you are.

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  30. So it sounds like you eat alone like a good maid after you have serve her dinner. Are you allowed to spend your evenings with her? And sorry I don't share information with a maid. That helps keep you in your place.

    FD

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  31. I am sorry for asking, Sir. Forgive me. I do eat alone in the kitchen most evenings. On nights I am allowed to spend with my wife I usually sit at her feet. Other nights I am sent to my room after the kitchen is cleaned up.

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  32. Your apology is accepted. You know your place. When is the last time she allowed you to cum and do you beg for one sometimes or is that not allowed. And what did you do on the weekend when she was home from work?

    FD

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  33. Saturday she took me to the mall. She wanted to do some shopping. I always enjoy time with her while being more her wife than maid. :) Usually on Sunday I receive my weekly punishment. This week it was given on Saturday night because she had to leave for a business trip on Sunday.No matter how hard I try she can always find room for me to improve. This week I received 20 strokes with the cane and an hour of corner time. And then I packed her clothing for the trip.

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  34. Do you have any specific tasks to perform while she is gone or do you get time off?

    FD

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  35. I have set chores I do everyday. For instance I change her bed on Mondays and Fridays and clean her bathroom everyday. Those chores are done whether she is here or not. I also clean the home of one of friends every Thursday. I do get to sleep later when she is away.

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    1. interesting that you clean a friend's house every Thursday. How did that start? And I assume she left you caged and took the key with her?

      FD

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  36. my wife's friend, Miss Amy, was impressed at how clean the house was. She offered to let me clean hers. I am caged. Miss Amy has a key in case of an emergency, Sir.

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  37. Is it humiliating for you to have Miss Amy holding your key while your Mistress is gone? And is Miss Amy allowed to order you around or do you just clean for her? And how do you spend your evenings with your Mistress traveling?

    FD

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  38. It is humiliating, Sir. But my wife says being humiliated is part of being a sissy. Miss Amy is amused by her power over me. She calls me mouse. She can order me about, although usually when I clean her home she is at work. Tonight I am to prepare and serve her dinner. Most evenings when I am alone I watch TV and go to bed a little later than usual.

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  39. It does sound humiliating to go to Miss Amy's and know that she not only knows you are locked but has the key. Does she ever tease you about unlocking you? And are you told when to go to bed when your wife is home. And does she call you while traveling to check up on you and make sure you are doing all of your chores or give you new ones?

    FD.

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  40. It is humiliating, Sir. She taunts me by saying I am so pathetic that I should never be unlocked. Most nights I am sent to my room at 7;30 or 8 p.m. She does checkup on me by calling me or Miss Amy and she has nanny cams she can look at on her computer. My wife says sissies need constant supervision and discipline.

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  41. Does Miss Amy check up on you, too, while your wife is gone or do you just see her on Thursday?. And do you have to keep yourself shaved while she is gone? Do you like the way she feels you need constant supervision and discipline? And how do you feel when she turns on the Nanny cam and you know you are being watched?

    FD

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  42. Yes, Sir, Miss Amy will stop by unannounced at times when my wife is gone. Most of the time I forget the nanny cam is there. I know I must always be a good sissy as my wife puts it. Sometimes I wish I didn't need so much supervision and discipline but that is not up to me and I know she knows best. I understand sissies need that control. My body is waxed and I am always smooth, Sir.

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  43. Do you wax yourself and how often do you wax? Do you have no hair below your neck? And what does Miss Amy do when she stops by unannounced and how long goes she stay? And you are a good sissy for accepting that your wife knows best

    FD

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  44. That is kind of you to say, Sir. I got to a salon for waxing and to have my hair done. I haven't had more than a trim in over two years and it is over my neck now. Mostly Miss Amy just checks to see my chores are done. She doesn't stay long but she likes to tease me and call me a wimp and things.

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  45. I wondered if you went to a salon for the waxing. Were they surprised when you first went in. I assume a woman waxes you and your wife unlocks you for the waxing. How often do you go for a waxing and do they do your legs too or do you shave them? And nice that you are growing your hair out. I assume it makes you look more like a female. Did you wife tell you to grow it out and how long will she want it? And I assume you always have your chores done when Miss Amy checks you out. Are you ever punished by your wife for not getting all the chores done or do you make sure you get done what she wants you to do. And does Miss Amy call you a wimp in a friendly sort of way. I would say you are a good sissy, not a wimp. Has Miss Amy ever since she would like to find a sissy of her own?

    FD

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  46. My wife had set up my first appointment so they expected me. Yes, a woman waxes me. She tells me I am better off and much more female than male. I get waxed about every 4 weeks or so and that includes my legs. I don't know how long she wants my hair but it was my wife's idea to let it grow out. Everything is her idea, Sir. I do get punished at times if I forget to do a chore or am slow. Miss Amy never has thought much of me and has treated me as if I beneath her he. I know that I am. I don't know if she ants her own sissy but it wouldn't surprise me.

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  47. Does the waxing hurt when they pull the wax off and are you embarrassed to be waxed by a woman who tells you are much more female than male? And your balls waxed too? Are you allowed to ask how long she wants your hair to grow or do you know better not to ask any questions? I wonder if she will have it grow to your shoulders or longer? And does she tell the stylist what kind of hairdo to give you? Are you punished very often? And are you allowed to ask Miss Amy is she would like her own sissy? And are your eyebrows plucked to look feminine?

    FD

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  48. The waxing does hurt and the place that isn't waxed is a little patch above my sissy clit. It was embarrassing at first when Miss Sharon, the woman who waxes me, said I those things, but now she is becoming kind of like a friend. My eyebrows are plucked and my ears are pierced, Sir. But I always feel a little embarrassed around women. They seem so powerful to me. Of course men scare me too. I don't ask many questions. I leave everything up to my wife.I am punished once a week and sometimes in between if if it is needed. I don't think Miss Amy would appreciate me asking her any personal questions.

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  49. So how is your hair styled? And nice that your eyebrows are plucked and your ears pierced. Do you wear lipstick and rouge? I can understand you don't ask questions. Does she give you a written list of your chores or just tell you?

    FD

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  50. I have bangs and I usually have my hair pulled back with a pink scrunchie. I had light brown hair but it has been lightened.I wear lip gloss,usually a very light pink "rose" color. I don't wear blush often but I use mascara. I have specific chores to each day. sometimes my wife, who i address as Miss Emily, tells me of other chores or leaves me notes. I guess you approve of her methods, Sir.

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  51. Yes, I certainly approve of her methods and the good thing is that you do, too. There are many sissies that have to hide that part of their lives from their wives so you are fortunate that Miss Emily has taken charge of you. And does she keep coming up with new chores or are you on a fairly set schedule now? And do you wear panties and bra under your maid's outfit?

    FD.

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  52. Mostly it is a routine, Sir. She did add cleaning Miss Amy's home. I wear panties and a bra with a waist cincher or corset and stockings.

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  53. Do you go the store to buy panties and bra or wear your wife's? Did Miss Amy stop by this weekend to check up on you?

    FD

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  54. I buy my own lingerie. Sir. my wife cam home on Friday and left for another trip this evening.

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  55. What is it like when you buy your own lingerie? Do the saleswomen know they are for you. Did you wife have you serve her over the weekend before she left? Did she use the strapon on you and give you a cum?

    FD

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  56. The saleswomen always know the lingerie is for me. It makes me blush but most of them know me now. I served her orally but I was not allowed to cum, Sir.

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