Sunday, November 8, 2009

Tom Brady's wife

Since this is a Sunday, I thought a post about Tom Brady and his wife would be appropriate. For our readers across the pond and the ocean who don't know the name, he's a famous American football player who makes millions and is so good looking that even women who don't like football are into him. He was dating an actress named Bridget Moynahan, got her pregnant and dumped her for a super model named Giselle Bludchen, a move which alienated many of his fans.

Anyway, he plays in Boston so she gets the bright idea to learn how to fly a helicopter to commute to New York where much of her modeling work is . She's one of the richest women in the world but she doesn't want to hire a pilot. She wants to fly solo even when she's pregnant. Naturally, Brady isn't too thrilled with this idea and thinks it's dangerous but she won't listen to him.

He is quoted as saying in the Boston Herald, "I guess I just have to go with it. There's some things I'm definitely not gonna win and that's one of them.''

Huh? He can't convince his pregnant wife not to fly solo in a helicopter?

Hmmm, sounds like this woman needs a good spanking!!!!

Your thoughts?


  1. I think their power dynamic is not the same as ours. There were times when I felt it was my prerogative to do what ever I thought was best..."My body, my choice." even when it contained his child. If she is anything like me in her make up, she is happy to be in charge, while her respect for him and feeling of being sheltered in this big bad world slowly erodes. I will say though, even way back then, my husband would have fought and won that particular battle. I think Tom is whimping out.

  2. Sara: Yes, their power dynamic is different because she's got the money to be independent. And I'm all for women doing what they think is best. But she's risking her life and the life of their unborn child needlessly for the thrill of flying solo. I agree that Tom is wimping out and should say this is a deal-breaker because he's concerned about her life.

    I think another factor in all this is that when you're as rich and beautiful as she is, there simply aren't many challenges in life. She's got the money, the man most women in America would throw themselves at and a fulfilling career. So I think the flying solo is a challenge for her. But I still think it's too risky when she can afford to hire an experienced pilot.


  3. what in the name of god is wrong with her wanting to learn how to fly? Being pregnant does NOT make you more fragile, stupid or incompetent! You're PREGNANT - life goes on, you do what you do!

    Note too that her reasoning is solid; her work is primarily in New York,but she lives in Boston - to accommodate HIS schedule and where HIS job is - seems like a logical and good use of resources to me.

    First and foremost, there is no indication they are IN any type of a power dynamic; so the point is moot. Secondly, even if they were, it is NOT given that the guy ALWAYS is right -at least in my books.

    To me, she has ALREADY compromised - I wonder how many jobs she didn't get becuase of the distance travel? I wonder how many didn't even look at her for work becuase the figured she was too far away and not readily available.

    Being a male. Being a dominant. does not ALWAYS meean you're either right or that you get your own way on a whim - it is all about a give and take - yeah, even in a D/s dynamic.

  4. I can see where you're coming from on this - it is dangerous to be flying a helicopter. But it's also dangerous to drive in a car, to ride the subway....even to walk down the street. You wouldn't tell a pregnant woman she had to stay at home just because she's going to have a baby! All of that said, I personally wouldn't want to learn to fly when I was pregnant - and it has nothing to do with being fragile or whatever, as Selkie brought up (although I don't think that's what you were getting at in this post. I think you were referring to the fact that she could be endangering her baby by flying by herself). There's just too much that could potentially go wrong. I mean, what if something happens (pregnancy-wise) while she's flying a helicopter alone? Would she be able to keep her head and land safely?

    I feel some sympathy for Tom Brady. I think that pregnant women can be a little blind sometimes and get that "it's my baby mentality...but if it wasn't for their partner, there would be no baby at all. I can understand why he'd be hesitant to let his wife fly a helicopter (especially if she's just learning) while she's pregnant with their baby - because yeah, if something DID happen to her, he could lose a wife and child. Not a nice prospect.

    She knew when she married him that if she was going to be with him, she'd have to be in Boston because he has a job where it's pretty much impossible to live anywhere else. So if she's had to make all kinds of compromises already, she would have made them knowingly.

  5. "Yes, their power dynamic is different because she's got the money to be independent."
    I have to take exception to this. First - it implies that a woman who chooses submission does so because she has no means of supporting herself independently; this is not at all the case for myself, and i believe for many others. Women who are quite capable of surviving independently still choose a submissive role in their marriage/dynamic. The converse is that, if a woman cannot support herself independently, she must accept the submissive role. Why must that be the case? Further, there are any number of women who are forced to live in abusive relationships (not D/s or M/s or any such thing, but abusive)because they do not have the means to support themsleves or their children. The fact that this is a reality, does not make it right.

  6. FD, I think you put you foot in it this time! :) As a professional woman, I have the $ to be independent too. $ has nothing to do with commitment to being a couple.

    Selkie, EVERY couple is in a power dynamic, whether they acknowledge it or not.

  7. Whatever the power dynamic--even if she seems to have authority over him, and the case could be made that she does (and him a big tough ball player), it shows a lack of respect to do something that extreme and dangerous without his full affirmation.

    And excuse me for sounding like a Neanderthal, but no matter how much money my wife made, this would not be happening. (note there is no smiley face here).

  8. Ooops, as Sara said, I put my foot in it. Let me try to explain my views as I go along:

    Selkie: I didn't mean to say that she shouldn't learn to fly. I just don't think she should fly alone without an experienced pilot along for the ride since she could certainly afford to hire one. And I didn't mean to make this a dominant or male issue. I'd feel the same way if he wanted to fly alone and she didn't want him to.

    True Blue: Yes, it's also dangerous to drive a car but as I said, the point I was trying to make is that she should fly with an experienced pilot. Remember the tragedy of John Kennedy, Jr.

    Greengirl: I didn't mean to suggest a woman should be submissive because she doesn't have money. Being a submissive in my view has nothing to do with money. It's about the way a person is hard wired (and Selkie has pointed out there are more male submissives than female submissives). Many strong, financially independent women are submissives. That's the theme of my Training Lisa series, which my newer readers can find by going back into te archives. And it is unfortunate that some women stay in abusive situations because they can't support themselves but I'd advise them to run to the nearest shelter.

    Sara: Yes, money has has nothing to do with commitment to being a couple. But when you talk about Gisele Bludchen, you're not talking about money. You're talking about one of the richest, best known women in the world. As F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, the rich are different than you and me. They live lives we can't begin to imagine because he's also rich and famous. That makes their power dynamic -- whatever it is -- is difficult for us to begin to understand.

    The ironic thing about all this is that I didn't even intend this to be a very serious issue. I just thought you'd find it interesting that a famous football star would publicly admit that his wife going to do things her way even though she was doing something dangerous he didn't want her to. As I just said, rich and famous people live lives that we can't comprehend. But I guess I didn't express what was I was trying to say very well. Maybe I still haven't. Oh, well...

  9. FD, in my view it is a safety issue. Yes all of the other means of travel noted but with the exception of the car and probably that as well, the driver is a professional.

    Sure she can learn how to fly a helicopter but she will not be an experienced pilot. She will be a novice; flying on the east coast in a heavily trafficed corridor. She will be flying between two east coast cities adjacent to the ocean, subject to increasingly bad weather as the winter progresses.

    In my opinion, it is a bad decision. It is the type of bad decision, money and power enables but it is still a bad decision. Learn how to fly and practice in the summer when you are not encumbered by the swelling weight of a growing baby. When many hours can be spent under the tutelage of a skilled teacher before taking on the risk of eastern seaboard air travel.

    Hire a skilled professional to fly you back and forth.

  10. Hi FD!

    Just thought I'd pop over for a quick look before getting back to my writing & WOW how interesting. Having birthed many children I recall precarious moments of driving with such ravenous hunger I would feel acute queasiness & have to pull over just to sit still while I ate. I had times when I was unexpectedly light headed. Personally I believe she's being stubborn and hasn't heard the word "NO" since she defied her father. At age 15ish, she left her home to pursue her career. Hello?! 15!! - are you freakin' kiddin' me?!! What father & mother in their right minds allow a 15 year old girl (OK - ANY aged girl) to catapult herself into a den of insatiable wolves?!!!! My girls weren't/aren't allowed to DATE until age 16. And I refused to let my oldest model (various offers came in throughout her life). Gisele's been used to men who won't stand up to her, indulged to the max and obviously enjoys pushing the envelope. Oh I feel some the my PMS tension subsiding ... thanks FD!!

  11. CD: Thanks for the perfect comment. It is definitely a safety issue. And your point about flying the NY-Boston corridor is right on. I agree she should hire a pilot.

    KayLynn: You know a lot more about Gisele than I do. I'd never heard of until she started dating Brady. To digress, I'm not into the whole fashion scene because I think some of those skinny models sent a bad message to women in general and make Marilyn Monroe look as if she should have gone on a diet. But I didn't realize Gisele's background although you're probably right that she likes pushing the envelope and nobody has ever told her no. Tom tried to and obviously failed in the helicopter thing. In their marriage, Tom is probably her trophy husband.
    And, KayLynn, I doubt if any mother bear has been more protective of your daughters than you are. Congrats on nixing your daughter get into the modeling thing (mo offense to any models who might be reading this) because that can be a minefield.
    And I'm glad your PMS tension is subsiding. I never expected this post to get such strong reactions.


  12. FD - I guess part of my reaction arose becuase I hate the whole fragility thing associated with pregnant women (plus you realy DO get that caveman mentality with a lot of people); on reflecting, I DO realize that not every woman experiences pregnancy like me - learning to fly would not have in any way been compromised or affected by my pregnancies which were obscently healthy and easy.

    I still fail to see the issue with her learning to fly- I really do; one would assume she would hire extermely competent teachers.

  13. Selkie: In an era when many women work almost to the day they deliver, I wasn't suggesting there was a fragility problem. And I don't even have an issue with her learning to fly.

    My issue -- and apparently it was Brady's as well -- was whether she was experienced enough to fly solo in the Boston-NY cooridor. I'm sure she had competent teachers, but when you fly solo, the more experience the better.

    And it's great that your pregancies were so healthy and easy.