One frequent blog topic is women writing that they don't feel they are getting enough spankings. So I thought I would share some thoughts on the subject by two different bloggers.
The first one by faerie who writes about how her husband is giving her the spankings she needs. He said he doesn't understand why it works and she doesn't care if she ever does, but she knows it works and she feels much better.
http://faerielernstofly.blogspot.com/2012/02/stress-relief-spanking.html
The second is Mick, who spanks his wife and said four women wrote him to ask if he would write their husbands to explain why they want to embrace the domestic discipline lifestyle and even be spanked if necessary. He noted it is hard to give general guidelines because each DD relationship takes on different dynamics. But he gave some good insight.
http://husbandlytouch.blogspot.com/2012/02/letter-to-hoh.html
My comment is that I can understand some guys might not be into spanking and it might not do anything for them. But a good husband should be looking for ways to connect with his wife. If spankings can accomplish that, why not do it? The satisfaction in making your wife happy should make it worthwhile. Think of it as foreplay.
Your thoughts?
FD
Three Clips on ST
2 hours ago
I dont think with all the best will in the world its as simple as saying a good husband should be open to spanking to connect with their wives.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be something both are open to, when one party is not into it and it doesnt do anything for them then there is likely to be a build up of resentment...the happiness has to work both ways.
I was married young it didnt last, i wanted him to give me the control i craved...he couldnt it just wasnt him..he wasnt a terrible husband by any means but we were simply incompatible.
If its something minor then you can work through it, but if its something one feels really strongly about and the other doesnt then something has to give.
On a personal note i dont like being spanked...as in otk i find it humiliating and will avoid it if possible...which seems odd i know coming from a masochist lol
tori
As a new spankee I can say I am already longing for the next spanking within a day of the last one. Even at this early stage I do not think I could go back to a relationship where spanking was off the table.
ReplyDeletetori: Good point about the happiness working both ways. But for the couples who stay together, can the husband adjust and give spankings without feeling resentful? A dilemma I guess. And interesting that as a masochist you don't like to be spanked. You posed the question back in an old post, "Why will I do things I really dislike to please him?'' Are spankings in that category?
ReplyDeleteFD
I cant really say whether a husband could adjust, some might and some might not...its something thats going to differ for different couples...a tricky one.
ReplyDeleteI dont like being spanked because i associate it with being treated as a child and this is something i find humiliating. Its not the pain aspect at all but being made to get over his knee makes me cringe.
Spankings are in that category yes but then my dynamic is such that it matters little whether i like it or not (within reason). I submit to them because i have chosen to enter into a realtionship whereby i have handed control over to him on what i will or wont do.
Thankfully he doesnt spank me very often at all, and when he has its been because i have been (in his opinion) acting childishly so its an apt punishment.
tori
tori: Thanks for the explanation. Do you feel more submissive when you do things you dislike or is serving him the same whether you like it or not.
ReplyDeleteFD
Im reluctant to say more submissive, its like well its easy to submit to things i like but its more rewarding when its something i dislike, i do however tend to get more aroused when its something i dislike.....i havent quite got my head around that yet lol
ReplyDeletetori
I love a good spanking and the wonderful pleasures that flow through from the buttocks to the whole genital area. But I don't get them too frequently, it requires a dedicated aficionado to give them, some-one who will not be distracted by those flaming cheeks and quickly race to plunder the wetness within.
ReplyDeleteI love spankings.. any kind and any time.
ReplyDeleteI'd like one almost every day .. or night.
I don't get one that often.. I wonder what would happen if I did?!
tori: I'm not surprised you get more aroused when it is something you dislike. You probably feel more submissive doing that.
ReplyDeletedoll: Yes, it must be difficult not to be distracted by those flaming red cheeks and want to plunder that wetness. Nice that they make u so wet.
nancy: You would probably love it if you got one every day.
FD
My husband doesn't get it, but if I ask, he does it. Not for discipline, that came about from me on my own so he never thinks it is necessary. He knows I work hard to be submissive and I may screw up, but it's not for a lack of trying, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteSirsButterscotch: Thanks for the explanation. May I suggest you start your own blog to share your journey with us. From your one paragraph, you make a lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteFD
FD, a girl can only wish!
ReplyDeleteActually I'm thrilled that I get spankings as often as I do.. usually every other week if not every week.
But every day.. oh I have a very strong feeling I'd like one every day~~
Florida Dom,
ReplyDeleteI can give Master nearly anything even if I am, shall I say, "not emotionally on board" as long as it does not compromise my morals and ethics. The challenge for me is coming across authentic when it is something I have little interest in.
If a husband feels spanking his wife is abusive I could see that as being a limit for the relationship and I understand entirely why he would not participate. If the husband though finds it a little different but does not alter how he feels about himself and the relationship he shares with his wife, well then I think it is possible.
I can recall early in our relationship I asked Master to slap me across the face. When I am feeling particularly feral; on my knees begging to be throat cunt fucked (pardon my blunt language), I often crave the sharp sting of his hand against my cheek. At first he simply was not able to. He tried but right before impact he would soften his stance and merely tap my flesh. Master had been raised that he was never to strike a woman, ever and although he had spanked a bottom when it came to the face all those years of conditioning pulled at him and he just could not do it. Over time he has accepted his desire as well as mine and he happily obliges in my passion; however, it did take time and I was happy to wait.
Like most things I believe this too is very individual.
Again, excellent debate topic.
~a