Friday, July 3, 2009

More on Marriage

While playing doubles with three other guys this morning, we took a break at the same time four women playing on the adjacent court did and they started talking about Gov. Sanford. One of the women hadn't heard about it so the other three were filling her in and they were all bashing him.

Their reactions were typical. All the women I've talked to and who commented on my last post on this subject were ready to toss him out on his ear, if not another part of his anatomy. And yet one woman is willinng to forgive him -- his wife. That's why I decided to come back to this topic I did a post on earlier.

In case you missed it, she emailed a statement saying, "The real issue is one of forgiveness. I am willing to forgive Mark for his actions. My forgiveness is essential for us both to move on with our lives, with peace, in whatever direction that may take u.''

"Mark showed a lack of judgment in his recent actions as governor. However, his far more egregious offenses were committed against God, the institutions of marriage and family, our boys and me. Mark has stated that his intent and determination is to save our marriage, and to make amends to the people of South Carolina. I hope he can make good on those intentions, and for the sake of our boys, I leave the door open to it...''

Her comments show we can never know what is going on in another marriage. Half the time we have trouble figuring out what is going on in our own.

Her comments also remind me of an Ann Landers comment back in the day when a woman would bash her husband and she'd say, "Are you better off with him or without him?''

I figure most of us wonder how she forgive the public humiliation of his soul mate line and comment that he'd try to fall back in love with her. But she seems willing to give it a chance. I guess we'll never understand it, but I am curious to see long term if they can stay together. Your thoughts?

And just want to wish everybody a happy 4th holiday and pass along two good cartoons from the New Yorker this week.

One shows the founding fathers eating ribs and the caption is, "Anachronism or not, it just ain't the Fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson.''

And the the other shows a woman talking to her shrink and saying, "Oh, my husband's fine in bed as long as he stays on his side.''

Hope you smiled at those and enjoy the holiday weekend.


  1. Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. I agree that she needs to forgive him for her own peace of mind and for the family. But even if they get back together, she should never forget that he is capable of this kind of behavior. She needs to protect herself and her children from the possibility that he will be a repeat offender. Trust would be almost impossible to rebuild if it were me. Meow

  2. I too agree that she should forgive him. Not for his sake but for her's. I just can't see wanting to stay in a marriage with him at this time. I feel I would have to ask him to leave for the time being and then if they are both willing to seek professional help to see if there is anything to save then they can start from there. I wish her and her four boys the very best (and it doesn't seem like that is him!)


  3. meow--I agree that forgiving and forgetting are two different things. It would be hard to forget if they weren't in the public eye. With all the scrutiny, it'd be even more difficult. And the trust would be difficult to rebuild.

    PK--I think there's no doubt they needa lot of professional held to sort this all out.