Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sex Addiction

What is the definition of a sex addict?
A. A male.

Hey, I like the joke if I say so myself.

What brought it up was a column in the USA Weekend issue called relationship tips by Dennie Hughes. She is asked if there is such a thing as a sex addict because when people get caught cheating, they blame a sex addiction.

She quotes author and psycotherapist Tina B. Tessina as saying that true sex addicts addicts are so obsessed with their need to have sex that they are dysfunctional in every aspect of their lives. Sounds like a blogger. (Another joke).

"The need to have sex is stronger than any of their relationships, their careers, their health or their reputation,'' she is quoted as saying.

I'm still not convinced there is such a thing as a sex addict but here's another joke:
What's the cure for sex addiction?
A. Having kids around the house.

So what are your thoughts. Do you think there is such a thing as sex addiction?


  1. That's an interesting question. I really love sex, but I won't have sex to just have sex unless I'm really into the other person and feel all the lovely chemistry that makes being intimate so special and magical.


  2. Your story of training Lisa is excellent!!

  3. Kitten: I agree that the chemistry makes being intimate so special.

    Anon: Thanks for the kind words. Did you read the earlier chapters on the FF series or just see them here?

  4. It may be a joke but it's also true that having kids in the house would sure cure it!

    There MAY be some cases of true sex addition but I think in most cases it a case of lack of self-control.


  5. I think there is a thing as a sex addict. I know several who I personally believe are.

    Another question... is there a masturbation addict?


    ~drippy kitten

  6. FD, interesting question.

    I have read something a while back about sex addiction and a couple of stories about actual people but can't remember what was said so I would say yes there is such a thing as sex addiction.


  7. PK: Glad you liked my joke about having kids around the house would be a cure. There's nothing quite as liberating as when the last kid goes off to college.

    Drippy Kitten: Your line about a masturbation addict brings to mind another joke. How would people define such an addict: one more time than they enjoy doing it. It also brings to mimd the old Woody Allen line about it being sex with someone you love.

    Ronnie: I wonder how you decide whether a person has a high sex drive or is an addict?

  8. Thanks for quoting me. Yes, there is such a thing as sex addiction. The official definition of addiction is any behavior or substance use that is so compulsive it has a destructive effect on your life. (So, even blogging could do that :-) You might want to learn more at the dr. Romance Blog.

  9. Tina: I'm shocked that you found that I quoted you. Do you have it setup so if you're mentioned, you're notified? Anyway, thanks for writing and I'll checkout your blog. Do you treat sex addicts with something like a 12-step program like any other addiction? When it comes to sex, though, I was always a little fuzzy on when the line was crossed from having a high sex drive to it having a destructive effect on your life.

  10. Yes there is such a thing as a sex addiction, and a masturbation addiction is just a variation of that. Is it a negative thing in your life? Compulsive? Destructive? Does it interfere with healthy functioning in other areas of your life? High drive and addiction are just not the same. Now treatment would vary on who you talk to, and what kind of psychotherapy and/or treatments they believe in and practice. Joking aside, any kind of behaviors that control you rather than you controlling them are not fun!

  11. Sara: Thanks for the thoughtful post. I finally did what I should have done in the beginning and googled sex addiction and I found out that it is a real problem for some people and there are support groups and 12 step programs for it.

  12. I love Sara's idea... ya that's it I'm just a spanko with a high sex drive... I'll take "Lies I tell myself for one thousand Alex".

    So does it work in reverse, if you want good girl spanks you are productive in your life - and that is the only reason you leave your laptop?!

    Personally FD, I loved the old Flip Wilson character Geraldine who aswered with reverence, "The Devil made me do it!" Now I'm totally showing my age.. yikes!!

  13. Yes, I also remember Flip Wilson's Geraldine. Wow, we're both showing our age.

  14. Pornography, which is especially the problem of men, is the second main factor in the life of a sex addict. This can mean porn magazines, films or material on the Internet that is used to seek for satisfaction. For example on the Internet general headwords concerning this issue are … By them people seek for satisfaction.

    One problem with pornography is that it does not bring long-lasting satisfaction to us. These magazines or films kind of promise that you will find the erotic picture you have always been looking and longing for, but the satisfaction does not last for long. As time goes by, many may experience the same as alcoholics and drug addicts: they need more and more powerful stimulus to experience the same stimulation as before, because the amount of pleasure diminishes.

    More info:

  15. Can I comment in a post that old? ;)
    So... my Master told me I am sex addict... I just think I enjoy sex too much, I enjoy the pleasure, the feelings, the touches, everything! And, He is trying to teach me how to "control" my impulses... which means,for now, orgasm denial. Because now, they belong to Him: my pleasure, my satisfaction, my everything. And it's being tough (to say little), but at the same time, so damn exciting! :)