Friday, January 15, 2010


I was reading a recent post by Mouse ( on the subject of whether or not she is a pain slut.

That made me think that it would be interesting to hear what the bloggers have to say about pain. Say on a scale of 1 (mild) to 10 (intense), where would you rate on the pain scale?

Do you crave a lot of pain or or not? And if the endorphins are flying, I assume you can take more of it than if they aren't. Does pain turn you on?

Your thoughts?



  1. FD: A certain amount of pain in certain places does turn me on, but my limits are pretty low for "real" pain - not to the point of much bruising or any skin damage. I guess I crave the loss of control more than the pain itself. Good question! Meow

  2. It's hard to answer that, because everybody's scale is different. If I say I'm an 8, that would be in relation to how my husband spanks, but I might be a 4 under someone else's hand.

    I do think that my tolerance has built up after regular attention to my bottom over the years. And I have to admit I like the pain, although I don't think I've had that endorphin rush yet.


  3. Meow: I can understand how the loss of control means more to you than the pain because giving up control is a big step for many subs. Especially for ones like you who got into the lifestyle later in life. You were probably used to controlling things that you now allow him to control.

    Hermione: It makes sense that the scale depends on how accustomed you'be become to the one doing the spanking. You may be able to endure more when he is doing it because you're comfortable with his style and not worried he's going to go where you don't want to go. Also not surprising that your tolerance level has built up over the years and you like the pain. It'll be interesting to see if you eventually get an endorphin rush because so many subs talk about that and some call it "flying.''


  4. Someone recently pointed out to me that a relationship with pain is always in flux. I hadn't thought of it as a relationship - but she's right - and mine is in flux. I intesnity is all realtive to the person so I'm not sure i can compare, but i have been craving (I think) more recently.

  5. I would say I am a 6-7 with spanking by my husband, as far as what I can tolerate. I enjoy the thought of pain, I look forward to some of it, I do crave it. The thought of it turns me on, the actual pain does not. At least I don't think so, it must be more about what is going on underneath. My thoughts on pain have changed before, and may change again...

  6. Funny that you posted this today because I was just trying to figure out whether it is the pain or the submission that is what turns me on.

    I honestly at this point can't answer that, hopefully in the future I will be able to.

    As for pain scales, I am probably a 7 but that is in the safety of my relationship with my husband. I know when I was in the hospital they asked that question and I easily answered an 8 so I guess it is different depending on where the pain is coming from.

  7. The amount of pain I can take varies pretty drastically from scene-to-scene. He stops much more quickly than he used to. I'm not sure if this is because I have somehow developed a lower pain tolerance, or if it's because in the beginning, I was too shy to let out a peep while he was spanking me, whereas now if it hurts, I let him know.

    Like Janet, I have a hard time figuring out whether it is the pain that turns me on or the act of submission that goes along with it. I have a feeling that's a question that probably goes unanswered for a lot of subs.

  8. I have always said I'm a 'mental masochist' in that my turn on is definitely more connected to submitting to HWMBA than to the pain itself. That said, while my head would always say no to the pain, my body betrays it by reacting rather differently so I have a hard time convincing HWMBA of that sometimes.

    As for how much? Depends on how submissive I'm feeling which is usually directly connected to how things are between us. The better they are, the more I find I can take.

  9. I remember walking through the woods this summer and having a pretty severe slice from a thin but hard branch hit my calf. I expected that I'd not like what I would feel I was surprised - not minding the pain at all. Additionally I'm with Meow, certain places get the job done. I've not had a lot of pain - period, but what I've had, I'm happy to continue exploring - it carries with it excitement, connection to D, and discovery. Lucky me the emotional dominance dove tails the pain/pleasure. My desire for spanking is all about the emotional dominance. But b/c that seemed too wierd to ask for, I started out requesting very light bondage. Pretty funny when I think back on it - the ideas of what is kinky and what is not... hey there's a topic FD!

  10. FD,

    Thanks for the mention!

    Wow lots of interesting things to ponder. I'm still on the fence and my Master just kinda smiles at me as I sit thinking about this.

    Maybe that says a lot more than I can?


  11. I don't know where I am on the scale... I do crave the pain for the psychological benefits. It helps to center me, relieves stress and anxiety and helps me feel more submissive. But it doesn't do anything for me in a sexual sense. I don't think this qualifies me as a pain slut since I don't exactly enjoy the pain.


  12. Pain is so different for all of us so It's a hard one to actually answer. I would say I was a 7-8 but that's receiving it from P. I would probably say differently if I was spanked my someone else

    I like the pain but it doesn't turn me on.

    Good post FD.


  13. I have a very high tolerance for pain; I can take a lot, especially because I can make myself center on something else and "go away" in my head. I never do that during punishment, though! Sometimes I really crave it, but only in the form of discipline from my husband. The only time it turns me on is if I'm already turned on and it's part of a sexual experience, and nothing too out there painful!

    I guess the whole pain thing is rather complex for me... because I just re-read what I wrote, and it's sort of confusing!

  14. Interesting question.. I do crave pain but each time of accepting pain is different.
    Maybe an 8..depending on the day?

  15. When I get spanked, pain is irrelevant. The feeling of humiliation and being controlled by someone else tends to cancel out the pain.

    I have a low pain threshold as to how quickly it hurts, but can tolerate a lot, if that makes any sense.

  16. Greengirl: You're probably right that a relationship with pain is probably always in flux depending on the circumstances.

    Ally: I often hear subs say they don't like the actual pain but look forward to it and even crave it. It is probably a need in your pscyhe even if the reality is often different than your thoughts.

    Janet: I think a lot depends on where the pain is coming from and I think pain and submission may feed into each other.

    TrueBlue: Not surprising that the amount of pain you can take varies from scene to scene. I think a lot depends on what mood you're in.

    M:e: Yes, I've often heard the body shows it is craving the pain even if the mind is saying no. And sometimes it is easier to accept if you're doing it because your dom wants it and you are pleasing him.

    FunKayLynn: Good luck in your continuing exploration of pain. As far as what is kinky, I guess you know it when you feel it or see it.

    Mouse: Thanks for giving me the idea.

    Spirited one: Interesting that pain doesn't do anything for you in a sexual sense even though you crave it for the psychological benefits. It depends on the definition of the phrase pain slut. If you crave it, maybe you can call yourself one.

    Ronnie: I find it interesting that you like the pain even though it doesn't turn you on.

    Butterfly: I think the whole pain thing is complex for most subs.

    Nancy: Not surprisng that each time is different when it comes to accepting pain. I think so much depends on your mindset at the time.

    Dave: Thanks for stopping by. Hope you come by again. It makes sense that you have a low threshold yet you can tolerate a lot. You probably adjust. And I think the humiliation and feeling of being controlled enable you to take more pain.

  17. I read this just last night and pondered it quite a bit. I feel with different kinds of pain I am able to take more. With a flogging I can take quite a bit, but a spanking with a hairbrush I am begging for it to stop after like 3 hits! I actually wrote a nice long post on this over at my blog because there were so many thoughts that went through my head as I was pondering this. I think that unlike Ally, I crave the pain itself as well as the effect it has on my mind. And yes, I have and can get to that place of "flying", it is the most wonderful experience.

  18. Two yrs is prob a bit late to be leaving a comment. But since the topic is of great interest to me, I just couldn't resist.I crave pain and would say I'm somewhat of a pain slut, lol, perhaps to the degree that some may call unhealthy. Discovered the endorphin rush when I started cutting myself as a teenager. Didn't realise it was a turn on till later in life. I love the feeling of being tattoed, and getting my nipples pierced aroused me to the extent that I wanted to just give myself to the man who did it. I'm very new to being spanked and to bdsm on the whole. The spanking I enjoyed the most was given to me with the thin part of a fishing rod while I was tied up and gagged. It was such a freeing experience to be able to scream and struggle, to hate and love what was happening to my ass, while losing myself in the 'high of pain'. My master teased me, saying that my soaked, dripping vagina suggests that I might enjoy pain more than sex.