Here's a video on a sex contract that was spurred by 50 Shades.
It talks about how couples should communicate about what they want in sex, which I think bloggers tend to do.
Anyway, here's the link:
http://www.aol.com/video/community-sound-off-sexual-contracts-better-sex/517482288/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmaing6%7Cdl15%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D207622
Will be interested in your thoughts.
FD
Beautiful scenery
1 day ago
I found it interesting that the basis for the contracts was to get couples discussing more openly about what they would like etc and a contract would be a more fun way of achieving that.
ReplyDeleteHowever personally i would find a contract stifling, why not just sit and talk openly without having to make it formal? i wouldnt see a contract as being fun but thats just me.
I guess it depends on whats stipulated in the contract and thats going to be individual to couples.
Will be interested to see other views.
x
I agree. If one doesn't feel comfortable enough to communicate his/her desires, why on earth would he/she want to go right to putting it in a contract? I wouldn't want to share any fantasies at all with my man if I knew it was going directly into a contract.
DeleteAnd the woman in the video just kept saying the same thing over and over, even when she was asked different questions.
The fact is that most couples don't talk about sex at all -- they are horrified by the thought of it.
ReplyDeletethey worry what the other person will think of them if they admit their fantasies. Back when I was 100% vanilla -- I found it very difficult, and the lack of communication about my desires led to some unfortunately misunderstandings with my ex. (and some painful silences)
what I found interesting about the video was how difficult they found it to even talk about having a contract and what sorts of things go into it. I think those of us who blog and certainly those of us who are BDSM experienced forget what it's like over there
and how isolated it can be.
that being said, should vanilla's have sex contracts? -- baby steps -- ya'll -- not quite sure they're ready for that.
sfp
I do my best to avoid contracts, unless I have no choice. For example, in order to rent an apartment these days, one has to sign a one-year lease. Otherwise, I don't do contracts. I don't do cell phone contracts, or bundle contracts, or any of that stuff. I value my freedom. I never would have been married if the actual terms of the contract were written down anywhere, but they're not.
ReplyDeleteI would never in a million years sign any kind of detailed sexual obligation contract. Like I said, I value my freedom. Freedom to eat what I want, drink any size soda I want, buy any kind of lighbulbs I want, and the freedom to have sex with my man, or not have sex with my man, whenever I want, or don't.
We never did have a contract but we did use negotiation sheets to get the conversation started. Occasionally we will get the old sheets and review them. Maybe a hard limit is now a soft limit. Or we tried something that didn't work out the way we wanted it to.
ReplyDeleteTo stick 100% with a contract is a bad idea but they do have their uses.