Is Marriage Obsolete?

That was the lede of an AP story about the findings of the Pew Research Center. Of course, it is not really obsolete but not as prevalent as it used to be. Here are some of the findings:

--About 29 per cent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase since 1960. Of those 29 per cent, 15 per cent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 per cent were never married.

--About 39 per cent of Americans say marriage is obsolete. In 1978, the figure was 28 per cent.

--About 44 per cent say they have lived with a partner without being married. For 30 to 49 year olds, that figure rose to 57 per cent.

--About 62 per cent say the best marriage is where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That is up from 48 per cent in 1977. (My view is that while it may be the ideal, the wife usually winds up doing more of taking care of the household and the children).

--About 67 per cent were upbeat about the future of marriage and the family.

--About 46 per cent of unmarried adults say they want to get married (I thought that figure would be higher).

So, I thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss. What are your views on marriage? My view is that the majority of people still want to get married. The trick is finding the right person and then hanging in there during the hard times. I also think that sometimes we have expectations that are realistic for marriage. I remember a classic line from the movie "Lovers and Other Strangers" where the son is telling the father he is getting divorced because they're no longer in love and the father said, "What's love got to do with it?''

So I hope you will share your thoughts.

FD

Curvy is Sexy

I have long lamented the fashion industry's obsession with skinny models who look like they need a good meal or are suffering from an eating disorder. The problem is that it makes normal women or plus sized women feel they aren't measuring up.

Which is why I found a story by Stacy Lipson on lemondrop.com quite interesting. She said she hated her body until she read Meg Cabot's novel, "Size 12 Is Not Fat.'' She also wrote a sequel about size 14.

She then finally looked at herself without clothes in a mirror and said she was beautiful. In her vocabulary, flabby was replaced by voluptuous and muffin top (haven't heard that before) with full-figured.

She ended by saying size 12s are beautiful just the way they are. "the choice to see yourselves that way is all yours.''

I enjoyed that insight and hope you do too.

FD

Travel Tales

I had one of those trips that every frequent traveler is familiar with. A one stop flight that is cancelled after the first stop because of a computer problem on the plane. Planes are so booked now because of the cutbacks that I took virtually the whole day waiting and getting rerouted to a different city before getting to my final destination. I got home about 10 hours after I originally was scheduled to.

But the reason I am writing this is to advise you that if this ever happens to you, be sure to ask for the headquarters number and call and complain. All they gave me at the airport was a $20 voucher for food. But calling them, I got a $200 voucher for a future flight. Of course, they aren't going to volunteer this. You have to call and complain. Hope it doesn't happen to you but just wanted to let you know it is available if you call and complain. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

The most madddening part is that I only had my company computer or I could have written this chapter of Lisa that is rattling around in my head when I had so much time on my hands. LOL.

FD

Odds and Ends Again

I've done this before, posted some random thoughts without a theme and they seem to get a positive reaction so here we go again.

To start with, I want to thank all those who posted on LOL. And sorry if you posted on mine and I didn't on yours. My excuse is that I was traveling last week and again this weekend so I wasn't online as much as I'd like. But I appreciate all the positive comments, even the two noting I haven't updated the Lisa series lately. Please be patient. I have a story in my head and have to get it written out. And for the new readers who aren't familiar with the series, you can go back to the beginning of my archives.

There has been some talk lately on the blogs about a woman submitting to having her head shaved. Some women, even subs, were aghast at this idea. You know women and their hair. But another had the opposite reaction. She would do it but he wouldn't consider it and wants it long so it is a pain in the neck to keep it up. Anyway, I'm curious to hear the reaction of the readers to having your head shaved. As a dom, I wouldn't want it. I like a woman with good hair. Of course, I like cleavage even more. Hey, what can I say, am a guy.

Continuing the shaving theme, one blogger said she would beg it not be done if he wanted it because it wouldn't go over well in her professional life. But she said if he did it, she would be soaked. And then she made the interesting comment that she has deep, dark fantasies that he would never do. Like being walked naked on a leash in a park. She brought up the question of whether other women -- or sub men -- have these kind of fantasies that their doms know are best kept as fantasies and wouldn't do them. Any thoughts.

Want to wish you all a Happy Halloween. Did you go to parties? I will miss it because I am traveling. I think it is so cute when the little kids come to the door in their costumes and are all excited. But when teens show up, I am kind of turned off. I'm like, hey, this is for kids.

Traveling means going through security, which is one of my least favorite things. And on my last two trips, I had to go through the full body screen where you can't even have a piece of paper in your pocket, which means you have to put your boarding pass in your briefcase. And then when after you go through, you have to wait until they get a buzz from somebody in a room who checks you out. I wonder what women going through these devices think of this. Oh, and then you're supposed to take jells and creams out of your bags and I forgot to take my toothpaste out and it sailed right through. The only good thing about the TSA is that it is a politically acceptable government jobs program and we need more of those in this bad economy. And if there are any TSA employees reading this, don't take it personally. I know it's part of the job. I know 9/11 was a terrible tragedy but I wish we would react the same way to things that kill many more people. Like guns. We kill three times as many people in this country every year with guns as died with9/11 and we can't ban assault weapons. And if you have a gun in your house, you are much more likely to have somebody in the family get shot than an intruder. OK, enough of that rant.

Speaking of traveling, you know how there are always longer lines for the women's room. Do you know they actually developed a funnel type device so women could put it between their legs and go standing up. The problem that most women wouldn't consider it and the idea went nowhere.

In Kansas City last Sunday night, I was driving with a colleague looking for a gas station in an industrial park because you have to fill up your rental car. And there by the side of the 10 feet from the street was a deer. Fortunately, she didn't jump in front of the car. the guy at the hotel said they are seen more now because it is mating season. Don't know if that is true or not.

And check out Ronnie's blog, Heart and Soul. She has a good post about a company that ran an ad with a spanking theme and caused a stir. Hey, maybe one day spanking will become more mainstream. Wouldn't it be nice if women could say to their colleagues at work, gosh, I am overdue for a good spanking. I call it the last taboo in our society. I remember when Gloria Steinem first started publishing MS in the '70s and a woman wrote in and said she liked to be spanked by her husband. I think it was the first time I had ever read about spankings in a mainstream magazine.

I am typing this at a hotel computer in the lobby. If you travel, hotels have now started putting computers in their lobbies. They have filters and it is interesting what they block. I can get into mine and ones with vanilla titles. But even Bonnie's bottomsmarts was blocked as most of them with submission in the title. But not all of them. And some of them I could get into but I couldn't comment on. I know the hotels have to do this to prevent parents from complaining if their kids to go sites they think are inappropriate. But I find it interesting what they block and don't block.

And, last but not least, now that fall is here and women are wearing sweaters, you don't see as much cleavage when you are traveling. Hey, as I said earlier, I am a guy. I often think cleavage is sexier than topless. And if you read all the way down to the bottom, I hope you enjoyed my somewhat aimless meanderings. And hope you are having a nice weekend. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? I think it is just around the corner. As you get older, time seems to speed up.

FD

Love Our Lurkers Day V

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Sexting

Have you heard of the allegations against Brett Favre?

For our readers who don't live in the U.S. or aren't football fans, he is a famous football player accused of sending pictures of his dick to a woman who worked for his team and was about 15 years younger than him and rejected his advances.

The details and the photos can be found on deadspin.com. He sent them about two years ago and the woman who received them never went public but showed them to friends and one of them apparently sold the photos to the the website.

So I thought I'd poll our readers. If a co-worker ever sent a photo like that to you, would you report him or would you let it pass? And if you are familiar with the Favre case, what was your reaction to him?

FD

Update

You may remember I recently wrote about a 71-year-old man who met a woman in her mid 60s and how they clicked immediately as great sexual partners to show that age can be just a number when it comes to enjoying sex.

Well, I just wanted to give you an update to let you know that after a couple of weeks, things are going great for them. They go down on each other and she has multiple orgasms and when he is inside her, she plays with her clit and even asked if that bothered him. Of course, it didn't.

So just wanted to remind you all that the golden years can be golden.
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I thought I'd add one more story this guy told me about when he was 18 and living near some bungalows in Miami Beach that were rented. He wasn't getting much sex in those days before the pill and legalized abortion when young women were very worried about getting pregnant. Anyway, he was washing his car without a shirt when a woman came out to sun herself and was watching him and finally said something like you look hot, would you like to come in for some ice tea. He thinks she was in her 50s or 60s. Well, she invited him to stay the night, they did it like 10 times and they had a torrid two-week affair and then she left without saying goodbye and he never saw her again. Sounds like a movie plot.
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And now one more story from some different tennis buddies that may or may not be true. One guy took a hard hit ball right in his private parts and was laying on the ground writhing and the other three guys were wondering what to do when he said, "Call my wife and tell her it is swelling up again.'' That was in the pre-Viagra days and the other three guys started laughing and the players on the other courts couldn't figure out why three guys were laughing when their buddy was hurt. The first two stories are true, not sure about the third one, but it is a good story.

I hope you enjoy all three.

FD