Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Another question

I recently asked why men pay for sex and got some interesting answers. Now the flip side. Why don't women pay for sex?

I think the answer is that for a lot of men, sex is just sex. A release. But for women, sex tends to involve commitment and love. And also any woman who wants sex isn't likely to have much trouble finding a man who is happy to provide it.

But I will be interested in your thoughts.



  1. For an interesting discussion on this subject, as well as the somewhat related subject of the differences in male- and female- oriented porn, see here:


  2. Florida Dom,
    I actually know of two women who regularly pay for sex. One of my friends pays for sex with a female dominatrix and the other friend pays for sex with a male escort. I have engaged in numerous questions about their motives and desires and both of my friends have stated they pay because then they "get exactly what they want" without any hassle.

    Personally I have never paid for sex or sexual activities with either a male or female, not in the traditional sense. I have called a guy I met on line and we have had phone sex and I paid for the call so on that level I have paid and my reason for such an exchange: it got me exactly what I wanted without any hassles. Now I know there are many people who would not consider my experience to be paying for sex; however, I sincerely see no difference.

    Whenever I called a guy and we had phone sex I did it because I was looking for a very specific exchange; I did not wish to do the usual awkward and long drawn out dance before getting exactly what I wanted. For me, the choice to make a call was selfish - it was to have the good time I wanted and to this day I can say with honesty I always got exactly what I was hoping for during those phone calls.

    I think what I find most interesting about those random calls was that when the exchange moved into a face to face encounter and I started to date the men I met online everything changed and the conversations we had sitting side by side were not nearly as exciting nor as sexually fulfilling as they were when shared through a hand held receiver.

    I think there are numerous reasons why people pay for sex whether that be in person or through a phone; however, I think the motives for men and women might actually be far more similar than we would all like to believe.

    Have a wonderful day. :)

  3. and jane way- thats an intersting topic with the porn. my favorite clip is on my blog. i love it. i think its a man's clip though... i dunno. i didnt get any feedback other than a man and he loved it. lol

  4. I think the reason women don't pay for sex is quite simple - it's much easier for a woman to go out and find a man to have sex with than it is for a man to go out and find a random woman to have sex with...

    Though I'd also say that men have been raised to be proud of their sexuality and many women are very shy and introverted about their sexuality. You might hear men talking about masturbating with just acquaintances - unlikely you'd hear girls talking about orgasms with anyone other than their closest friend - and even then it's questionable...

    It's easy to go out and obtain satisfaction for what you feel should be yours to have - much harder to do if you feel that you're not supposed to have sexual urges.

  5. Janeway: Thanks for posting that link. It was very interesting.

    Goodgirl:You had a lot of good insights and I just wish you would start your own blog. You would have much to contribute.

    Thinking: I am surprised you only get them in bed 9 out of 10 times. I would think it would be 10 for 10.

    Emilie: Isn't it sad that some women feel they are not supposed to have sexual urges.


  6. A lot of women do NOT think like a man, and our needs are different. I need a relationship and a trust established before I have sex. It's not just recreation or exercise for me. I realize not all women feel this way, but I do. A lot of women do. Even if sex were a much more casual thing, I don't see why I would ever need to pay for it. Do I pay for oxygen to breathe? It's just there.

  7. I would agree 100% For guys it is just sex, but for Women it usually requires some form of emotional attachment. Now that being said I do believe with the feminist movement the number of women that have sex just because has increased. I do see our society and our gender lines being blurred in that reguard. Just my 2 cents :)

  8. Sorry my main point was I agree with everyone in the fact women have a much easier time finding that release without paying for it. There are many guys willing for most women in the world. Guys are quite shallow in that aspect!

  9. Stormy: Loved your line that you wouldn't pay for it no more than you would pay for oxygen.

    Master J: I think besides the feminist movement, the pill freed women to have more sex and enjoy it because they didn't have the fear of pregnancy. And, yes, guys can be shallow in that respect.

  10. Well I think a lot of women don't agree with paying for sex. I don't buy into the "it's just providing a service" argument because a lot of women are exploited in the sex industry, men too I'm sure.

    I also think women are conditioned differently into society. There is still a sexual double standard-women are afraid of looking like a slut. I read a lot of the time in blogs about women's "inner slut"; every woman has sexual needs, it's only natural but a lot of the time, she is afraid of showing it for fear of being judged negatively by a man or society at large.

    And then there are women who are raised in very conservative countries/backgrounds. I knew a Muslim girl years ago originally from a Muslim country. She told me how couples wouldn't even hold hands walking down the street so obviously, her view of sex would differ to mine, a Western woman. If you are caught kissing in public etc. in Dubai, for example, you can go to jail. So I think religious countries generally subjugate women/supress their sexuality.

    I think most women want to be viewed as special and not just an object. A lot of women have sex to get a relationship but a lot of men have relationships to get sex; I can't remember where I read that but it's something that resonated with me.


  11. Say there Florida Dom. I enjoyed some of your weather last week, planning to come back in March.

    Congratulations on the milestone!

    This post brings John Voight's character's career choice in "Midnight Cowboy" to mind. "I'm a hustler."

    Frankly, I don't know why anyone would pay for sex, male or female. Close encounters with a strange person? Bleh!

  12. Good question. For me personally, I would not pay for "regular" sex. I mean, I (and most women) could find sex for the sake of sex. And one cannot pay for true intimacy.

    Now, I would play for specialized services...such as a highly recommended Dom or role play expert who could help me fulfill certain desires or fantasies.

    Hope that helped. Love, A. :)

  13. Florida Dom, Sir
    I thank you for your kind compliment regarding writing my own journal. I do in fact have a journal and I believe you have even commented on it if memory serves me well. I do not like to publicize my journal on other peoples journals because I do not like to take be a "show off" however, I do wish to share with you my journal is: www.floozy.ca and I go by ~His on that journal.

    Again, thank you for your generous compliment. I wish you a wonderful evening.