Happy New Year

I just wanted to wish all the visitors to this blog a happy and healthy New Year and may you have many blessings in the next 12 months. And I want to thank all of you who stop by and comment and even the lurkers who just stop by and don't. I've made many friends in the blogging world and I even have a New Year's resolution. To write more Lisa chapters. Let's hope I can keep that resolution. By now, you probably think I'd given up on it (and my newer readers probably aren't aware of the series, but you can find previous chapters in the archives). I still have some tales swirling around in my head that I have to get to the computer screen.

And since I always like to ask questions so here's one: Did any of you get a New Year's Spanking and hope you will share it with us.

And may all the spankos have many good spankings in the coming year. And if you are doing the spanking, make sure you don't neglect your spanko.

FD

Christmas Morn

I am a bit late in sharing this, but just wanted to talk about how much fun it was to share Christmas with the grandkids when they still believe in Santa at 7 and 8. And it was their first Christmas visiting in Florida. Usually we go up north. And since they were buried in snowstorms up there, it was a good time for a Florida Christmas. The weather was beautiful and we even played some tennis before we sat down to eat the turkey and trimmings and count our blessings.

And they were fascinated with seeing things like the house that has a gator in lights on their roof pulling Santa's sleigh. Only in Florida.

A few weeks back, one of my daughters sent me to a store on Sunday morn to get an Nintendo game on sale. And then I had to go back a week later because they lowered the price. Well, seeing the grandson jumping up and down with glee when he opened it made it all worth it. And the thing isn't much bigger than a deck of cards, but has more computing power than we had when we went to the moon. It even has web access and takes pictures (I thought it was just a thing toplay games on) although my granddaughter explained they are not allowed to go on the web. When we were raising our kids, we didn't have to worry about them being on the web. How times change.

Anyway, want to wish everybody a Happy New Year. Some years aren't memorable but let's hope this one is for you and yours.

FD

Things You Find Out at Christmas Time

Did you know you can't just one carrot? At least not at the supermarket we shop at. We needed a carrot for the grandkids to leave for the reindeer and they said they only sold them in a bag. Now we have a bag of carrots.

Still so good to enjoy Christmas with the grandkids and see them tossing reindeer food on the front lawn. At 7 and 8, we don't have many Santa years left.

Another thing I learned is not to get careless and forget getting a flu shot. Sure enough, this week I got the flu or some virus. Talk about bad timing.

Anyway, I was still able to count my blessings this holiday season and hope you and yours are having the best of times. And if life does leave you with some lemons, hope you can make lemonade.

FD

Christmas Letters

This is the time of year we write and get Christmas letters. You know they are sometimes lampooned for being all about how Suzie won the Nobel Peace Prize and not about how she got fired from her job. Or something like that.

Anyway, I thought I'd ask your opinion of Christmas letters. Do you write them? Do you like getting them? Do you get a lot of them?

FD

Hiding

Saw a thing on CNN Money that 80 per cent of spouses hide some purchases from their spouses. Surprisingly, clothes or accessories were 24 per cent for men and 43 per cent from women. Don't their spouses pay attention when they wear these clothes?


Alcohol was 19 per cent of the men and 8 per cent of the women. Music was 14 and 8, Gifts 12 and 21 and dating websites were four per cent for men and one per cent for women.


So do you want to share? Do you hide purchases from your spouse?



FD

Stress Time

I just looked at the calendar and Christmas Eve is two weeks from Friday. Two weeks!!! So little time and so much to do.

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of peace and joy, but why does it seem to be a time of stress and worry? How do you cope with the stress of getting everything done? Or are you one of those organized types who has everything done?

And are you so stressed that you don't get much play time at this time of year? Or is that a stress reliever for you?

Hope you will share your thoughts.

FD

Holiday Tales

I'm about a week late on this but thought I'd share a few tidbits from my holiday weekend.

It started with a Thanksgiving Dinner with friends and there were two 80-year-old women there with different perspectives on their sex lives or lack thereof. One was lamenting that she hadn't been touched in three years or so and has even been online trying to find a guy even though she is on oxygen. The other one said she is tired of taking her clothes off in front of men and has no interest. What a different perspective from two women of the same age. The one who wants to be touched likes hugs on arrival and leaving. And you must wonder how this subject came up at Thanksgiving Dinner. Like in my blog, I like to ask questions and listen to the answers but the one who isn't isn't interested brought it up out of the blue. I knew the other one so I was familiar with her story.

And then there's the daughter of one of the 80 year olds who's in her 50s and has been divorced for about three years and found a guy who loves her but she feels she shouldn't grab the first one who comes along without jumping into the dating pool so she is trying online. But she says she is a klutz with computers and having trouble signing on. Meanwhile, the guy said he'd wait for her. I don't know what advice I'd give in her situation. Whether it is best to go for it with the guy she knows or try to check out alternatives. I guess if she isn't sure enough about the guy she might as well check out the pool.

Then on Saturday I flew up to New York on a weekend business trip. The weekend after Thanksgiving is not usually the best time to travel because the planes are jammed but there were no delays. And by coincidence my younger daughter and her boyfriend planned to be there that weekend without me knowing I was going to be there. So we had lunch and then went to the Museum of Natural History where they have more dinosaurs than you imgine and rocks that are billions of years old. Hard not to believe in evolution when you see the exhibits.

My daughter and her boyfriend have been going together for a year and we are wondering if he will pop the question at Christmas time. I never thought she could find a guy so compatible with her. To give you an idea, she doesn't shop at one well known chain because she feels they exploit their workers and she goes online before she buys clothes to see if they are made by people who get a living wage. And she spent two years on a volunteer program in a Third World country and now works for the non profit recruiting new volunteers. And he also works for a non profit involved in commuity development. So I think they are a good match but I have a don't ask, don't tell policy about their future.

Then that night I went to dinner with a former colleague at a restaurant called Josephine's that is a tribune to Josephine Baker (you can google her if you don't recognize the name and are interested) and one of her relatives is involved in running it. They have a topless picture of her on one wall. The meal was delicious and then that night we saw the play called Lombardi about Vince Lombardi. For our non football fans and for our friends outside the USA, he was a legendary football coach.

Also interesting to see how 42nd St. has changed. It's where they drop the ball on New Year's Eve. They ran an article in the NY Times Saturday if you are interested with before and after pictures. It used to be a seedy street with porn shops and adult theaters and now it has been gentrified. Times change.

So it was a fun day. Always good to get back to Manhattan.

Oh, at the restaurant they were advertising a Christmas Eve dinner and had a quote from the late playwright Wendy Wasserstein (you can google her if you want) that said something like the saddest thing in the world is to wake up on Christmas morn and not be a child. I would amend that to say that it's OK to be an adult as long as there is a child in the house. Christmas is more fun with young kids. And our grandkids are 8 and 7 so we don't have many Santa Claus years left.

That reminds me of when our older daughter was bugging us that there was no Santa and we were afraid she would blab to the younger one. So we told her and I will never forget the look on her face. It was like she still wanted to believe. And she never told the younger one.

Speaking of the grandkids, if you are a regular reader, you might remember that I had to be at Target early Sunday morning a couple of weeks back to get Nintendo games on sale for the grandkids. Well last week, my older daughter called and said they were now $6 cheaper and I had to take the receipt and get a $12 refund. She is a hawk for watching those circulars for deals. If they reduce them again, I will probably have to make another visit. And I had to visit that store my younger daughter refuses to shop at to pick something else out. They were raised in the same family 14 months apart and are so different. Go figure.

Anyway, if you read all the way to the bottom, I hope your eyes didn't glaze over reading my ramblings. Nothing sexy in this post but hope you don't mind a change of pace.

FD

Giving Thanks

As we celebrate Thanksgiving, I wanted to give thanks to family, friends and good health and wish the same for all of you out there.

Also wanted to give thanks for the Internet. Without it, all of us in the TTWD world would not have been able to have found one another and share our lives and understand we are not alone, which I am sure many of us, like me, thought we were before we found there is a community of like-minded folks out there. And it has been so satifying to share these interests.

I also want to thank all of my readers, especially those of you who are so kind to leave comments and share your thoughts. I hope you will continue to return and share your insights. Also want to thank the lurkers who don't comment but still stop by.

Want to wish all of you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving. And hope we are all here a year from now so we all be here to give thanks again.

FD

Sunday Morning

How was your Sunday morning?

Mine included pulling into the Target parking lot at 735 a.m. I was five minutes late. My daughter had told me to be there at 7:30 p.m. for an 8 a.m. opening. The phone rang as I was pulling in. She wanted to make sure I was sthere.

Of course, there were only two people at the door but my daughter takes this pre-holiday shopping seriously. My mission was to get two Nintendo games for the grandkids that were on sale that morning because they are coming down for Christmas. The flyer didn't arrive until I got the Sunday paper but she had already checked it out in advance online that they were going to be on sale.

So I read my Sunday NY Times to pass the time until the "crowd'' had grown to six. I got out of the car and became the seventh person. By the time the doors opened, there were 7 or 8 people behind me including one woman showing a lot of cleavage. Well, at least I was getting sometihng out of this. LOL.

The doors opened and it seemed tacky to run but were walking at a brisk pace. A woman right behind me was obviously very pregnant -- she said she had five weeks to go but joked it looked like she was delivering tomorrow -- was joking she couldn't keep up the pace. Anyway, I headed to the electronics department, pointed to the flyer and said I wanted two of these. I told the guy where they were locked up. I had checked it out the day before on my home from tennis. There was already a woman waiting there and she was telling him which thing to unlock that had the model on sale. As he opened it, I reached in and she said I was here first and took two so I took the next two. They didn't have many which makes the sale kind of a come on. I paid and called my daughter that the mission was accomplished. Well, at least it wasn't Black Friday. She gets up really early for that. I think a guy got trampled to death at a store a year or two ago.

The kicker to this story is that she saved $30 on each one and their combined salary for her and her husband just breaks six figures. I guess I should be pleased that she tends to be frugal. But all that effort so save $60? It is not as if they are at the poverty line. Don't know if I should take the credit or the blame she's like that. But then our other daughter is worse. I joke we sent her to an Ivy League school and she fell in with the wrong crowd that wants to save the world. She lived two years living in a Third World country sleeping in mosquito netting because there was no airconditioning and loved it. And now she works for the program recruiting others.

Anyway, that was my Sunday morning. Took advantage of a sale. At least I don't plan to be out on Black Friday. Are any our readers into Black Friday?

FD

Is Marriage Obsolete?

That was the lede of an AP story about the findings of the Pew Research Center. Of course, it is not really obsolete but not as prevalent as it used to be. Here are some of the findings:

--About 29 per cent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase since 1960. Of those 29 per cent, 15 per cent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 per cent were never married.

--About 39 per cent of Americans say marriage is obsolete. In 1978, the figure was 28 per cent.

--About 44 per cent say they have lived with a partner without being married. For 30 to 49 year olds, that figure rose to 57 per cent.

--About 62 per cent say the best marriage is where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That is up from 48 per cent in 1977. (My view is that while it may be the ideal, the wife usually winds up doing more of taking care of the household and the children).

--About 67 per cent were upbeat about the future of marriage and the family.

--About 46 per cent of unmarried adults say they want to get married (I thought that figure would be higher).

So, I thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss. What are your views on marriage? My view is that the majority of people still want to get married. The trick is finding the right person and then hanging in there during the hard times. I also think that sometimes we have expectations that are realistic for marriage. I remember a classic line from the movie "Lovers and Other Strangers" where the son is telling the father he is getting divorced because they're no longer in love and the father said, "What's love got to do with it?''

So I hope you will share your thoughts.

FD

Curvy is Sexy

I have long lamented the fashion industry's obsession with skinny models who look like they need a good meal or are suffering from an eating disorder. The problem is that it makes normal women or plus sized women feel they aren't measuring up.

Which is why I found a story by Stacy Lipson on lemondrop.com quite interesting. She said she hated her body until she read Meg Cabot's novel, "Size 12 Is Not Fat.'' She also wrote a sequel about size 14.

She then finally looked at herself without clothes in a mirror and said she was beautiful. In her vocabulary, flabby was replaced by voluptuous and muffin top (haven't heard that before) with full-figured.

She ended by saying size 12s are beautiful just the way they are. "the choice to see yourselves that way is all yours.''

I enjoyed that insight and hope you do too.

FD

Travel Tales

I had one of those trips that every frequent traveler is familiar with. A one stop flight that is cancelled after the first stop because of a computer problem on the plane. Planes are so booked now because of the cutbacks that I took virtually the whole day waiting and getting rerouted to a different city before getting to my final destination. I got home about 10 hours after I originally was scheduled to.

But the reason I am writing this is to advise you that if this ever happens to you, be sure to ask for the headquarters number and call and complain. All they gave me at the airport was a $20 voucher for food. But calling them, I got a $200 voucher for a future flight. Of course, they aren't going to volunteer this. You have to call and complain. Hope it doesn't happen to you but just wanted to let you know it is available if you call and complain. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

The most madddening part is that I only had my company computer or I could have written this chapter of Lisa that is rattling around in my head when I had so much time on my hands. LOL.

FD

Odds and Ends Again

I've done this before, posted some random thoughts without a theme and they seem to get a positive reaction so here we go again.

To start with, I want to thank all those who posted on LOL. And sorry if you posted on mine and I didn't on yours. My excuse is that I was traveling last week and again this weekend so I wasn't online as much as I'd like. But I appreciate all the positive comments, even the two noting I haven't updated the Lisa series lately. Please be patient. I have a story in my head and have to get it written out. And for the new readers who aren't familiar with the series, you can go back to the beginning of my archives.

There has been some talk lately on the blogs about a woman submitting to having her head shaved. Some women, even subs, were aghast at this idea. You know women and their hair. But another had the opposite reaction. She would do it but he wouldn't consider it and wants it long so it is a pain in the neck to keep it up. Anyway, I'm curious to hear the reaction of the readers to having your head shaved. As a dom, I wouldn't want it. I like a woman with good hair. Of course, I like cleavage even more. Hey, what can I say, am a guy.

Continuing the shaving theme, one blogger said she would beg it not be done if he wanted it because it wouldn't go over well in her professional life. But she said if he did it, she would be soaked. And then she made the interesting comment that she has deep, dark fantasies that he would never do. Like being walked naked on a leash in a park. She brought up the question of whether other women -- or sub men -- have these kind of fantasies that their doms know are best kept as fantasies and wouldn't do them. Any thoughts.

Want to wish you all a Happy Halloween. Did you go to parties? I will miss it because I am traveling. I think it is so cute when the little kids come to the door in their costumes and are all excited. But when teens show up, I am kind of turned off. I'm like, hey, this is for kids.

Traveling means going through security, which is one of my least favorite things. And on my last two trips, I had to go through the full body screen where you can't even have a piece of paper in your pocket, which means you have to put your boarding pass in your briefcase. And then when after you go through, you have to wait until they get a buzz from somebody in a room who checks you out. I wonder what women going through these devices think of this. Oh, and then you're supposed to take jells and creams out of your bags and I forgot to take my toothpaste out and it sailed right through. The only good thing about the TSA is that it is a politically acceptable government jobs program and we need more of those in this bad economy. And if there are any TSA employees reading this, don't take it personally. I know it's part of the job. I know 9/11 was a terrible tragedy but I wish we would react the same way to things that kill many more people. Like guns. We kill three times as many people in this country every year with guns as died with9/11 and we can't ban assault weapons. And if you have a gun in your house, you are much more likely to have somebody in the family get shot than an intruder. OK, enough of that rant.

Speaking of traveling, you know how there are always longer lines for the women's room. Do you know they actually developed a funnel type device so women could put it between their legs and go standing up. The problem that most women wouldn't consider it and the idea went nowhere.

In Kansas City last Sunday night, I was driving with a colleague looking for a gas station in an industrial park because you have to fill up your rental car. And there by the side of the 10 feet from the street was a deer. Fortunately, she didn't jump in front of the car. the guy at the hotel said they are seen more now because it is mating season. Don't know if that is true or not.

And check out Ronnie's blog, Heart and Soul. She has a good post about a company that ran an ad with a spanking theme and caused a stir. Hey, maybe one day spanking will become more mainstream. Wouldn't it be nice if women could say to their colleagues at work, gosh, I am overdue for a good spanking. I call it the last taboo in our society. I remember when Gloria Steinem first started publishing MS in the '70s and a woman wrote in and said she liked to be spanked by her husband. I think it was the first time I had ever read about spankings in a mainstream magazine.

I am typing this at a hotel computer in the lobby. If you travel, hotels have now started putting computers in their lobbies. They have filters and it is interesting what they block. I can get into mine and ones with vanilla titles. But even Bonnie's bottomsmarts was blocked as most of them with submission in the title. But not all of them. And some of them I could get into but I couldn't comment on. I know the hotels have to do this to prevent parents from complaining if their kids to go sites they think are inappropriate. But I find it interesting what they block and don't block.

And, last but not least, now that fall is here and women are wearing sweaters, you don't see as much cleavage when you are traveling. Hey, as I said earlier, I am a guy. I often think cleavage is sexier than topless. And if you read all the way down to the bottom, I hope you enjoyed my somewhat aimless meanderings. And hope you are having a nice weekend. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? I think it is just around the corner. As you get older, time seems to speed up.

FD

Love Our Lurkers Day V

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Sexting

Have you heard of the allegations against Brett Favre?

For our readers who don't live in the U.S. or aren't football fans, he is a famous football player accused of sending pictures of his dick to a woman who worked for his team and was about 15 years younger than him and rejected his advances.

The details and the photos can be found on deadspin.com. He sent them about two years ago and the woman who received them never went public but showed them to friends and one of them apparently sold the photos to the the website.

So I thought I'd poll our readers. If a co-worker ever sent a photo like that to you, would you report him or would you let it pass? And if you are familiar with the Favre case, what was your reaction to him?

FD

Update

You may remember I recently wrote about a 71-year-old man who met a woman in her mid 60s and how they clicked immediately as great sexual partners to show that age can be just a number when it comes to enjoying sex.

Well, I just wanted to give you an update to let you know that after a couple of weeks, things are going great for them. They go down on each other and she has multiple orgasms and when he is inside her, she plays with her clit and even asked if that bothered him. Of course, it didn't.

So just wanted to remind you all that the golden years can be golden.
--
I thought I'd add one more story this guy told me about when he was 18 and living near some bungalows in Miami Beach that were rented. He wasn't getting much sex in those days before the pill and legalized abortion when young women were very worried about getting pregnant. Anyway, he was washing his car without a shirt when a woman came out to sun herself and was watching him and finally said something like you look hot, would you like to come in for some ice tea. He thinks she was in her 50s or 60s. Well, she invited him to stay the night, they did it like 10 times and they had a torrid two-week affair and then she left without saying goodbye and he never saw her again. Sounds like a movie plot.
--
And now one more story from some different tennis buddies that may or may not be true. One guy took a hard hit ball right in his private parts and was laying on the ground writhing and the other three guys were wondering what to do when he said, "Call my wife and tell her it is swelling up again.'' That was in the pre-Viagra days and the other three guys started laughing and the players on the other courts couldn't figure out why three guys were laughing when their buddy was hurt. The first two stories are true, not sure about the third one, but it is a good story.

I hope you enjoy all three.

FD

Cheating and Money

There was an article in the NY Times Sunday entitled, "By Her Support Does She Earn His Infidelity?''

It was about a paper written by Cornell professor Christian L. Munsch entitled, "The Effect of Relative Income Disparity on Infidelity for Men and Women..''

It says that Stay at Home Dads or the Laid Off Dad are five times more likely to cheat than men who contribute an equal amount of money to the relationship. And that men who earn significantly more than their wives are likely to cheat.

Women who earn 75 per cent of the man's income are more likely to have a faithful husband.
Most women tend to be in that category because, fair or not, men tend to get paid more than women for the same job.

The paper says that, "Having multiple sex partners may be an attempt to compensatse for feelings of inadequacy.''

The professor said that only 3.8 per cent of men and 1.4 per cent of women admit to cheating, which is in line of the national average that 3 to 4 per cent of married spouses cheat in any given year. So the overwhelming majority of spouses don't cheat.

Anyway, I am curious if you think it is a problem if a wife makes more than the husband? And I am somewhat skeptical of the theory that money has much to do with cheating.

But I thought it was an interesting topic so I thought I'd pass it along for your thoughts.

FD

Young at Heart

I got another reminder this week that there is no age limit to enjoying sexual pleasure.

A 71-year-old friend of mind was telling me he recently met a 65-year-old woman and they were watching a football game last Sunday and he decided to see if she was up for having some
fun.

He started touching her and she'd say, "Don't do that.'' But she didn't stop him. And then he got his hand inside her blouse and she said, "Here we go.'' But again, she was willing.

And when he got her bra off and was sucking on her nipples, she said, "Let's go to the bedroom.'' He actually wanted to watch the end of the game, but he couldn't pass up this opportunities. He went down on her and three orgasms later, she said she hadn't been with a man for three years. He is now curious to see where the relationship goes from here. And his last girlfriend wasn't into sex and dumped him.

When one door opens, another sometimes opens.

Hope you enjoyed this true story.

FD

Describing Orgasms

One woman recently wrote that when she has an orgasm, her back arches, her eyes close, her toes curl and her pussy clenches.

Anyway, that got me thinking. It would interesting to see how women would describe their orgasms.

I hope you will share your thoughts.

FD

When Is a Woman at Her Sexiest?

I saw this debate in the paper today and the answers were not always when a woman is young.

One 54-year-old guy wrote, "I can often look past the years to see, in many women, that lingering aura of the youthful beauty they once had. It may be in their eyes or smile, or the shape of their nose. Match that with their higher degree of wisdom and experience and it is far sexier. But I would never have been able to think that way when I was 25.''

And Diane Lynn, the author of "Sex for Grownups,'' wrote, "The bottom line is that a woman is sexiest when she feels she is at her sexiest, not when her hormones peak. Attitudes trump technique. It is being comfortable in their own skin.''

She also said that half the women over 50 said sex didn't exist and half said it was the best ever.

So I'll throw it open for comments. When do you think a woman is at her sexiest?

FD

Getting Hit On

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Clit Play

When I did a post on the g spot, many of you expressed a preference for clit play so I thought it would make a good post.

Would you like to share your favorite ways of play? If you like to play with yourself? Do you prefer fingers or a vibe? Do you do it daily? Is your favorite time before you go to bed? Can you play a long time or does it lead to a quick cum? Does you lover like to play with it? What does he like to do?

I hope you will share your favorite ways of play.

FD

Making Time for Your Kids

One of my favorite songs is "Cats in the Cradle.'' You can google it if you're not familiar with it, but it's about a father who never had time for his son when he was growing up and then when the son grew up, he didn't have time to spend with his father. And the father says his son had grown up just like him.

The song resonates with me because I call myself a recovering workaholic who spent too much time chasing his career and not enough with his two daughters. They both turned out well and are responsible adults and I have a good relationship with them now, but I know I let time slip away that I could have spent with them.

I was reminded of this when I read an inspiring post by Emmy on Right Turn Without Signaling (rtws.blogspot.com). If you type it in (I am not good with links) you want to read a post called Childhood Memories.

It's about how she grew up the daughter of parents who would qualify as working poor and lived paycheck to paycheck. They didn't have health insurance (she had surgery at 6 and her mother paid it off at $5 a week until she was 20) but made just enough that they didn't qualify for free lunches but they got reduced lunches and free cheese and butter the government handed out. She talks about all the things she didn't have growing up.

And then she talks about all the things she did have -- her parents time. She writes, "Stuff comes and go -- but memories, memories are what you take with you. They don't get lost in a fire. They don't get lost. They don't get misplaced. And they don't cost you money.''

You have to read the whole post to understand how inspiring it is. And if you kids are still living with you, try to spend more time with them. It is an investment that pays rich dividends.

And now for a rant alert that you may want to skip. I am reading the book "Too Big To Fail'' about the excesses of the bankers who almost ruined the economy. And how sad we live in a country that doesn't provide health insurance and free lunches for the working poor while the rich waste millions on creative comforts they don't need. I could go on, but don't want to get too far off topic.

If you read her post -- it's now the third one down -- it is a reminder that you never regret spending time with your kids.

FD

Wearing HIgh Heels

I know women tend to look good in high heels and I know I've done a post on this in the past, but I thought I'd share an article in the Los Angeles Times that said wearing them for a long period of time can cause neuromas, shortening of the Achilles tendon, hammertoes and possible sprains and fractures.

And research was done by Danielle Barkema, a kinesiology student at Iowa State University, in which she recruited 15 women to wear high heels on a special platform in her lab that measured the motion of their joints and the forces acting upon them. Sensors and motion cameras documented the force and pressure in the women's legs as they wore flats, 2-inch heels and 3 1-2 inch heels.

It turned out their knees and ankles absorbed the most wear and tear and higher heels increased the compression inside the knee, creating additional joint joint pain and strain.

The heels also forced their ankles, knees and hips into unnatural positions that increased their risk for joint degeneration and osteoarthritis.

But she wasn't recommending eliminating the wearing of high heels (which isn't going to happen) but to limit their use and not wear them every day.

So what are your thoughts?

FD

Why Don't More Women Avoid Jerks?

That was a headline that recently caught my eye.

Among the reasons listed:

--Some find them "exciting.'' They like living on the edge.

--When a girl dates a bad boy, it is obviously all on him. She is always the blameless victim who gets sympathy.

--Some women have such low self esteem that they think no man would want them so when one does show interest, they'd rather take the abuse than be alone. And as sick as it sounds, some women believe jealousy and abuse prove the man cares about them.

Ok, those are three theories. Would you like to share your own. And have you ever been attracted to a jerk?

FD

Female Condoms

The AP had a story about a woman in Washington who several days a week stands behind a bowl decorated with flavored condoms and safer sex pamphlets, calling to women on the street, "Come and check out my table. Don't be scared.''

She's part of a city wide effort in Washington to promote female condoms in the hope of slowing the spread of HIV. CVS is selling them but says sales are slow and community groups are handing out 500,000.

One 24-year-old was described as saying they don't irritate her body like latex condoms and are easy to use and, "It's better than any condom I've used yet.''

They have posters on buses that feature a cuddling couple and a female condom package with the words, "the female condom with pleasure points for her and him -- to tease, please and protect. Go on, give it a try.''

They are described as flexible pouches that are wider than a male condom, but similar in length.

So I thought I'd ask the women in the audience. Have you ever used one, would you consider it and would you recommend it to your teen daughter if you have one?

Your thoughts!!

FD

The Beauty Bias

Did you know that none of the 16 female U.S. senators aged 46 to 74 has a visble gray hair?

That was one of the tidbits I read recently in a NY Times review of a book called, "The Beauty Bias. The Injustice of Appearance in Life and Law.''

It is no shock that women tend to be judged on their appearance. And they respond to that fact. Cosmetic surgery has quadrupled in the last decade. Women still wear stiletto heels that ruin their feet and buy wrinkle smoothing cream for any price.

And the author, Deborah Rhode, says that being fat continues to carry as much stigma as AIDS, drug addiction and criminal behavior. Men are largely unplagued by their imperfections unless they are short.

It points out that only Michigan and six cities have laws to protect against appearance discrimiantion.

Since women often tend to comment on my blog, I thought I'd ask for your thoughts on this fact of life in our society and how you, as a woman, deal with this reality.

FD

More Odds and Ends

This is the second time I'm changing my usual format for a few tidbits that I find interesting and hope you do too.


To start with, I recently wrote that as a recovering workaholic, I love the peace and tranquility of walking the beach. The sound of the waves hitting the shore and lapping at my legs is so refreshing. The cares of the world seem so far away. Especially when the beach isn't too crowded although it is nice when there are a few lovelies in their bikinis to check out. Hey, what can I say, I'm a guy after all and a little eye candy is always nice.


Anyway, got to do that for four days last week when we visited St. Simons Island off the coast of Georgia. We got a place right on the beach and it was so relaxing. And there is just enough history and quaint shops and good restaurants to add to the ambience.


And close by there is an island called Jekyll when the tycoons and robber barons of the past like the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts built "cottages'' on the private island where nobody but the owners, guests and workers were allowed. Of course, the cottages were 9,000 square feet and up built in the 1900s. You can now go on a tour and visit them.


Another interesting feature was going on a shrimp boat where they put their nets in three times to drag up shrimp. Along with them came all sorts of other fish, including baby sharks a foot and a half long that they would let you you hold and pose for photos. And then they boiled a huge pot of shrimp that they caught that morning and you could eat all you wanted. So, naturally, I gorged myself. Delcious.


So it was a fun time. Good to get away and take time out to smell the roses and not have a care in the world.

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Walking sticks


In one of the "cottages," they had a walking stick on the couch. About an quarter to half inch round and I immediately thought of the uses it could be put to. You couldn't touch it there, but lo and behold, they were selling them in the gift shop. A bit pricey at $50, but I picked it up and slapped my other hand with it and I thought it could deliver some very enticing blows. Too bad walking sticks went out of style. LOL.
And then there's a restaurant called Spankys with a deck outside. Wouldn't it be nice for two spankos to have dinner and then go out to the deck where she is bent over the railing and he delivers a few quick smacks before anybody notices. A good dessert. A spanking at Spankys. How appropriate.
Then one of the gift shops had a plaque with a saying something like, "The beatings will continue until the attitude changes.'' The effect was spoiled with a picture of something of a pirate skeleton on the top. Just a cane would have been more appropriate. What a nice touch for a spankos' bedroom!!!!

Mad Men

Just wanted to alert you that Mad Men will start a new season Sunday night on AMC. If you are too young to remember the 1960s, this show captures that time perfectly in a story about a New York ad agency. And if you were in New York in the 1960s, as I was, it will bring back memories of the way things used to be. Things have changed for the better from the days when sexism and racism were almost considered normal and everybody smoked.

It is worth watching along with Rescue Me (about New York city firefighters post 9/11) and Friday Night Lights (a family drama against the backdropf high school football in Texas), which are currently in new seasons. And if you haven't seen them, the DVDs of all three shows are worth watching.

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Chelsea's Wedding

I clicked on to AOL this morning and they had 14 questions about Chelsea Clinton's wedding. Not that Chelsea has answered any of them. She has given no interviews, but The New York Times has already done two stories on the wedding despite her attempt to stay out of the limelight. The wedding is next Saturday and t he guests haven't been told yet where the wedding is, just that it is within driving distance of New York City. And the guests -- 400 to 500 -- don'tt include many of the Clinton's power pals. The top criteria was to have a personal connection with the bride and/or groom. Chelsea has grown up in a fish bowl, but certainly has conducted herself with grace and dignity. I guess I'm adding to the gossip by posting this, but I think she has done a great job of keeping her wedding from becoming a media circus. In our celebrity driven culture, she has avoided the spotlight and the tabloids. I doubt she will selling wedding photos to People Magazine.

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Weddings

Speaking of weddings, I read a story about a woman who had been a bridesmaid 29 times and was finally getting married herself at age 39. Can you imagine having 29 dresses you had worn just once? It said the average American woman is a bridesmaid five times.

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Word Verification

I'm curioius if anyone who doesn't have word verification has had any problems. I don't have it on my blog and have no problems. It seems like word verification is just an unnecessary step when you try to post comments. But then maybe bloggers use it because they have had problems.

If you've read all the way to the bottom, I hope you found these thoughts interesting. Anyway, I enjoyed the vacation, but it is good to be back and checking out the blogs again. And thanks for reading.

FD

Getting Wet

I recently read about a woman saying she was concerned about getting too wet.

I had never heard about too wet being a problem. I thought the wetter the better, a sign the woman is really aroused. I thought being too dry was the problem.

So I thought I'd ask our experts out there if they ever feel they are too wet. Or do they have problems getting wet and are too dry?

And do they like to taste their own juices and what do they taste like? Sweet and salty are the two most common description I've heard. And do the men in their lives like tasting them too?

So anything you would like to share about being wet, dry or in between would be appreciated. I always like to get feedback.

FD

Friday Night Lights

I don't know how many of you watch the show Friday Night Lights on, yes, Friday night. The show doesn't get good ratings. That may be because the premise is high school football in Texas, but the show features much more than football and delves into the lives of the characters and is one of the more thought provoking shows on network TV.

On last Friday's show, it featured a hot button topic that is often too controvesial for network TV, but one that women can relate to. You can probably find the show online if you wish. Anyway, this high school sophomore got pregnant doing it the first time with a boy she barely knows. She's the mother of a single bartender who had her when she was a teen-ager.

The show then examines whether or not she should get an abortion. I don't want to get into a debate on that subject, but the show points out how difficult this situation is for a teen with no money and not much of a support group. The abortion debate gets so heated that it is sometimes easy to forget how much anguish is involved for a teen facing this crisis.

The same show deals with a football player who needs $4000 to get his crackhead mother into rehab and resorts to the gang he was trying to get away from for the money and gets sucked back in.

Real life sometimes isn't easy and the show points that out while dealing with sensitive issues. Yet it get clobbered in the ratings by shows like American Idol. Go figure.

FD

The G-Spot Controversy

I hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend and thanks for all of those who left comments on my previous anniversary post. They were all appreciated and I am sorry it took me so long to respond.

In this post, I thought I'd discuss the so-called G-spot controversy which started when some British scientists suggested back in January it might be a myth. That prompted some French doctors to respond. They said not all G-spots are alike and the highly sensitive area bears little resemblance to the so-called magic button guaranteed to generate immediate pressure.

The French said it exists in 60 per cent of woman and one said it will be felt by a woman who knows it is there and takes steps to cultivate it.

"In discovering the sensitive parts of her own body, this sensitive zone (G-spot) will become more and more functional. But if she has never touched it and no one else has touched it...it won't exist for her as a consequence,'' one said.

So I thought I'll pose the questions to the women in the audience. Have you found your G-spot? Do you touch it often? Does the male in your life touch it? Can you cum from touching it?

What are your thoughts on your G-spot? Or do you prefer just touching your clit and the G-spot doesn't do that much for you?

Your thoughts?

FD

Happy Blog Birthday To Me

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Lisa's Training Chapter 11

This is the latest installment of my series about the Training of Lisa, a yong professional woman who's a tiger in the boardroom and a slave in the bedroom. In the previous chapter, Lisa had been collared by her Master and agreed to become his slave. She knew what that meant. She would obey and submit to him without question. She was totally under his control but she craved this status. She wanted to serve him. He'd then taken her out to dinner in a fancy restaurant when she learned serving him wouldn't be easy. She twice had to expose her breasts to a stranger, which embarressed her and then the stranger (she didn't know he was Master's friend) was allowed to give her a hard spanking in the limo on the ride to Master's home. We pick up the story on their arrival. If you want to read the previous 10 chapters, they are in the archives. and let me know if you would like me to do more chapters.

Training Lisa Chapter 11

Lisa's ass was burning and she was so wet as she walked up to the steps of her Master's home that her juices were dripping down her legs.

The stranger's spanking in the limo had that effect on her. It was harder than any spanking her Master had given her and left red welts on her ass. And the beating slammed the buttplug deeper into her ass and she still had the soaked thong in her mouth that prevented her from screaming out. And then there was the humiliation of knowing the limo driver could watch in the rear view mirror and see her in torment.

Still, the spanking eventually sent her into subspace, her endorphins kicked in and she was flying and she could feel herself getting wetter. By the time, he finished, she was in a daze but a good daze. She was content she had served her Master.

As they entered her Master's house, she was surprised the limo driver had been invited in too. She didn't know he was a friend of Master's. All she could think that he was another stranger Master wanted to expose her to.

After they entered the house, Master replaced her Tiffany's collar that she wore in public with a dog collar that was a symbol of the fact she was his pet as well as his slave. He also took the soaked thong out of her mouth that had stopped her from crying out in the limo. She knew he didn't mind if she cried in his home. It was so isolated that she knew nobody could hear her screams when she was beaten -- if a beating was in his plans. She never knew what he wanted in advance. She just submitted. She wanted what he wanted to give her.

He then unzipped her dress and she stepped out of it. She was now naked in front of three fully clothed men -- his Master, the stranger and the limo driver. That made her feel even more exposed. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe she was doing this and yet she knew she wanted it. And her Master was very pleased with her reaction. From their first contact online, he had sensed she was a matural sub and that he could mold her into the slave he wanted. And he was proud that his instincts were right. She craved being controlled. She was so wet most of the time that she often had to bring a second pair of panties to work because the first ones would be soaked by mid-day. He had tapped into the submissive side of her personality.

Exsept for the throbbing in her pussy and her wet panties, there was no sign at work that anything had changed. She was still the dominant alpha female who ran the show and had the males in her office quivering shen they were called to her office because they feared they had make a mistake. And she liked being in charge at work. She liked showing there was no glass ceiling for women in the work place. Hilliary may have made 17 million cracks in it but she wanted to shatter it. There was no limits on what she wanted to achieve. She relished the fact that her subordinates feared her. She felt a touch of fear was good in the workplace. It motivated her underlings to be on their toes and be at their best at all times. She knew they called her a bitch behind her back and she actually was pleased by that characterization. It showed she was no pushover. She knew at meetings that when she tapped her pencil on the table, they knew she was unhappy.

And yet there was this other side of her. Even she didn't understand it. All she knew is that submitting outside the office was a total turn on for her. It kept her aroused. She was like a bitch all right when she was serving Master -- a bitch in heat. She was thrilled when he made her his slave. Even the pain from the beatings was a turn on for her. The pain turned into pleasure and when it was over, she was proud of the stripes and the welts. And her Master knew to mark her only where it wouldn't show at the office under her power suit.

And her Master kept upping the ante, testing her limits and she found there were none. She would do what she was told to do. Granted, it wasn't easy to expose her breasts to a stranger, but she did it because he wanted it. And it wasn't easy getting spanked by stranger, but the repeated blows started the throbbing in her pussy that she got from Master's spankings.

And now she stood naked in front of the stranger and the limo driver. Even her Master could see she was embarrassed. But not that she complained. And he was thrilled that his training was going so well that she would submit to strangers -- even though she didn't know they were his friends. But he decided to make it easier on her. He put a blindfold on her so she couldn't see who was doing what to her. She would feel it and hear it, but not see it.

And then he told her it was inspection time and she put her hands on her head and spread her legs. She was completely exposed to them. And he said, "Gentlemen, you can now explore my slave.''

She wa told to open her mouth and she felt fingers in her mouth rubbing her teeth as if she were a prized race horse instead of a bitch in heat. And then she felt her breasts being cupped and squeezed and her nipples being pulled and she heard her Master says, "Aren't you impressed with her tits? So round and firm. And then she felt them being sucked on. She couldn't believe this was happening. A stranger was sucking on her tits and it was affecting her. Yes, she had to admit that she was getting wet. The humiliation was a turn on for her. And then she felt hands coming down her smooth, flat belly. The hours in the gym had worked wonders on her figure. There wasn't an ounce of fat on her. And then she felt fingers on her clit. She couldn't help herself. She started to moan because it felt so good. And she tried to buck her hips into those fingers until her Master told her to stand still. She obeyed but reluctantly. And then she felt fingers going into her pussy and she knew what they would find. And when the fingers started massaging her G spot, her knees almost buckled because it was such a turn on. She was soaking wet. She wanted relief. It was so hard for her to stand still when she wanted to writhe. And then she felt fingers on her lips and she opened her mouth and was told to suck them off. She knew she was tasting her own juices. She loved that taste. So sweet. And tasting them off a man's finger's was even better than tasting them off her hand.

She was then turned around and they admired the welts from the the spanking she had gotten in the taxi. And she heard the men complimenting the Master on his fine slave and how well she was trained. It made her proud because she knew her Master would be pleased with her.

And then she was turned around again and Master took her hand and said she was to go to her knees. She figured she knew what was coming next and it excited her. Yes, she felt a cock on her lips and she opened her mouth to welcome it. She loved cock. She loved the smell, the texture, the way it got it bigger in her mouth. And she had learned to control her gag reflex because she knew men loved her to take it deep. And then she asked if she could could swallow. But her Master had another idea. He told his friend (she was blindfolded and didn't know which one it was) to pull out of her mouth and come all over her face and hair. It was the ultimate in humiliation, but she had to admit she felt a tingle in her pussy. Being used and abused always turned her on.

She was then pulled off her knees and bent over a chair. She felt the buttplug being pulled out of her ass. And then she felt her ass being lubed. She knew that meant she was going to be fucked in the ass, but she didn't know which one of the men was going to do it. But she didn't care. She loved the sensation of having a big cock being plunged deep into her ass. She didn't know who was doing it but his cock was big and she loved the sensation as he withdrew and then pounded into her time and time again.

And then another cock was plunged into her ass so she figured both strangers had taken her. She figured her Master had saved her pussy for himself. And she wondered what he had planned next.

She was exhausted, she had welts on her, cum on her face and her hair, but she was always ready for more.

She would submit. She always did.

The End

Viagra for Women???

I don't know if you saw the story on the elusive search for a so-called Viagra for women pill.

On Friday, the FDA will ask a panel of experts to weigh in on a drug for premenospausal women who report a lack of sexual desire. But the FDA reported that two studies showed the drug failed to show a significant increase in sexual desire. And it noted side effects, including dizzyness, depression and fainting.

Part of the problem is that women's sexuality is so complicated. They reported that for men it's a "major mechanical concern,'' mainly blood flow to the penis.

It said the FDA has approved a handheld vacuum device that increases blood flow to the clitoris to increase sexual arousal. But i don't know that simply increasing blood flow to the clit will do it for many women.

It also said up to 40 per cent of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.

My take on all this is that women's sexuality is much more powerful than a man's. They have more erogenous zones. They can have multiple orgasms easier than a man. But the problem is that what else is going on in a women's life has a big effect on her sexuality. Men are always ready for sex.

But if a woman is exhausted from working all day and then has to handle the kids and dinner, she may not be ready to jump into bed. And then there are the men who, frankly, don't know how to treat a woman in bed. They're either clueless or selfish and just want their own pleasure instead of slowly bringing a woman to a sexual high until she's so aroused that she's begging for more. A good lover should make sure the woman gets pleasure before he cums himself.

Even the story quoted a female professor as saying, "In most cases lack of sex drive has more to do with the quality of a woman's relationship and lifestyle than brain chemicals.'' I think men who know how to treat a woman can help solve the problem easier than a pill.

And I think women who aren't getting pleased by the men in their lives should speak up instead of just waiting for him to finish.

Anyway, I am curious to hear your thoughts.

UPDATE: A federal advisory panel last Friday voted unanimously against recommending a drug to treat female sexual desire disorder, but it encouaged the company to continue its research. A staff report also recommended against approval because the drug's impact was "not just robust enough to justify the risks.''

FD

A Lazy Summer Day

The readers of this blog know what my favorite activity is, but playing tennis and walking the beach probably rank in the top five and I combined them Friday on a nice summer day.

After playing a tennis match a couple miles from the beach, I decided to have a relaxing time walking the beach. I'm not much of a swimmer, but I love walking along the shore line with the water lapping at my feet and the sound of the waves crashing in. It's so peaceful and nice for day dreaming. And while the temperatures were going into the 90s, it's always cooler at the beach.

Of course, sex is never far from my mind. LOL. Walking along the beach, I often think of the Burt Lancaster-Deborah Kerr scene in From Here to Eternity. If our younger readers see it today on netflicks, they probably wouldn't get it. Black and white and they're in bathing suits. No nudity in those days. But it was so erotic in its time. And I guess when you're younger, you think of actors and actresses as larger than life figures. The Bogart-Bergman scenes in Casablanca were the same way. Such great dialog. The Germans wore gray. You wore blue. Play it Sam, you played it for her, you can play it for me (He didn't say Play It AGAIN) and the memorable Here's looking at you kid. It's probably because I'm older but today's actors and actresses don't bring that kind of electricity to the screen even when they're naked. In those days, everything was left to the imagination. Playboy magazine couldn't even show bush (no shavingi in those days).

And while Florida beaches aren't crowded, there are always some lovelies in their bikinis. What can I say? I'm a guy. Love those round firm breasts. And the skimpy bottoms. I usually wonder if they're totally shaved or just trimmed. LOL. I even like women in bikinis who are overweight by today's standards. I like the fact they're self-confident enough to wear bikinis.

OK, so it was a relaxing time and there's a candy shop near the beach and they sell one of my favorites -- chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. They charge a ridiculous $20 a pound for him. You can buy lobster and even prine steaks at Costco (one of my favorite stores) for less. And I shouldn't even be eating them. But, hey, I like to say I'm at the stage of my life where I'm spending my kids' inheritiance. And I figure I deserve a treat.

Then went home and took a nap. Unfortunately, my wife was out and couldn't join me in the bedroom because walking the beach is a turn on for me. And then I went out and played tennis a second time at night. Now that was a fun today.

If you've read this far, you're probably wondering what the point of this rambling is. Yes, I will get back to more sexy topics in the future. but I like to think of myself as a recovering workaholic. I tend to put work first too much and it's just nice to have a fun day, relaxing day. I need to do it more often. And I hope you find the time to do it, too.

FD

Your First Time

I promised I'd get back to sexier topics and what's sexier than sex? I thought it'd be fun to share your first sexual experience, sexual intercourse that is. How old were you? Was it great, good, fair, disappointing, memorable, forgettable, regrettable? Did you first experience lead to a long term relationship? What are your memories of that experience?

Your thooughts!!

FD

Odds and Ends

This will be different than my usual posts. I hope you don't mind there isn't a sexy question, just a series of unrelated vignettes that I find interesting and I hope you do to. And in the next post, I will resume my regularly scheduled programming and another chapter of Lisa should be arriving soon.
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Looking for information

I know many newcomers and maybe some not so new readers are always interested in insights about this lifestye. I want to recommend the website kimdebron.tripod.com. You have to type it in. I'm too much of a computer klutz to give the click on link. Anyway, it is written by a delightful Australian woman named Kim (to be honest I consider her a friend but I think this is unbiased) who is a slave to her Master, Joe. They are well known in the lifestyle in Australia and she has a link to a TV interview that featured them. They also make their own sex toys and sell them at shows in Australia called Sexpos.

But the reason you might want to check it out is her writing. She has links to numerous articles she's written from control to pleasure and pain. And she's also written a novel, "Soul in Chains.'' And there's a delightful picture of her in her collar. But if you're interested in insights on this lifestyle, click on one of her many articles. I think once you read one, you will be hooked. She is candid in saying she writes from her perspective, ut I think her information and insights are invaluable.
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A Directory


Jayne of Jaynessubmissivediary.com is putting together a directory called femaleslavessandsubmissivewomen.com. Now I know some of you consider yourself spankos not subs but if you are a sub with a blog who would like to be included in her directory, just make a visit and sing up. Of if you're interested in finding blogs on the subject, check it out.
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Early happy birthday to me


On June 28, I will celebrate the first anniversary of this blog and I want to thank all the readers (including you lurkers who don't comment but area always invited to) whose comments have made the blog what it is. It started as a home for my Training Lisa series, which started on PK's Fantasy Friday series. I haven't written as many chapters as I would like but so many of you have provided your interesting insights on the topics I raise. And also want to thank PK of elisnewbeginnings.blogspot.com without whose mentoring and encouragement this blog would have never started. And I can't encourage you enough (yes, I also consider her a friend) to visit her blog, especially if you're an empty nester in your 40s and 50s. She's starting the empty nest part of her life.
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June 6, 1944

This week the anniversary of D-Day is coming up and we have to thank all the fighting men who risked and/or lost their live during the landing. And I wanted to mention Dwight Eisenhower. Along with FDR and Churchill, he played a major role in saving Western Civilization. But what I wanted to mention was the two messages he wrote as he sent the men across the channel. The first, which was used, announced they had made a landing on the shores of Normandy. The second, which wasn't used, said the landing had failed. He ended it by saying, "If any blame or fault attaches, it's all mine.'' In an era when the oil executives all say the spill wasn't their fault and the BP CEO says he wants his life back, it's nice to remember an era when leaders, like Harry Truman, said the buck stops with them. Granted, the men of the so-called Greatest Generation had their flaws. It was a time when racism, sexism and homophobia were accepted. We now live in a much more open diverse society, but that generation survived the depression and won the world war when our survival was at stake.
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Denial


In some relationships, the sub is denied cums for a certain amount of time. If that interests you, check out the site tantalism.org. You may find it interesting. For a look at the flipside, checkout growingthroughsubmission.blogspot.com. When orgasm denial didn't work for them, he started to give her a number every morning -- usually between 0 and 2 -- to give her the number of cums she's supposed to have that day. An interesting concept and I'll be interested in following how it goes for them.
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A message


Now that the summer season of partying is almost upon us, I'll be a nag and ask you not to drink and drive. The life you save may be your own as well as loved ones. And if you can't stop at two drinks or are a binge drinker, take a look at yourself. We talk about the war on drugs (drugs won) but the biggest drug of them all that causes the most problems in our society is the legal one of alcohol. If you think you might be an alcoholic or are living with one, seek help. It's an insidious disease. OK, I'll get off my soapbox.


And thank you if you read my ramblings all the way to the bottom.

FD

Learning About Sex

As we celebrate this holiday weekend and have time to relax, I thought it'd be interesting to look back and think about how you first learned about sex. How you first put your hand between your legs and felt something good but something you didn't understand, how you felt when you first got wet, when you first came.

And did you have any instruction about sex from your parents, teachers, school classes, friends and books.

Or did you just discover on your own what it felt like when you learned how good it felt to have your hand between your legs. Or are those out there who first learned it when somebody else first played with them.

Your thoughts.

FD

Summer Spankings

Except for your friends in Australia, I presume most of our readers are heading into the summer season, which brings up the subject of summer spankings and the marks they leave.

I thought it'd be interesting to discuss whether the spankings you get or give tend to leave marks and whether you have to be careful while spanking not to leave marks in exposed places so she can wear her bikini on the beach or short shorts without her marks being noticed. Or don't you get marked by his spankings? Or does he figure it's your probem to deal with your marks.

I know it'd be great if you could go to the beach with marks showing on your thighs and say to your friends, "Oh, I got a great spanking last night!!!'' But since we're not close to that utopia, I assume that most of you are proud when he marks you, but you don't want them to show when you're out in public.

Your thoughts!!!

FD

When Did You Know?

I got this idea from BabyGirl on adaddyandhisbabygirl.blogspot.com.

The question is when did you know you were kinky and into being a sub or a dom?

Did you know:
--as long as you can remember?
--puberty
--late teens
--20s
--later in life.

A good number of readers in her poll said not until adulthood. I knew I was a dom at some point after puberty. It was a fantasy from back then and it was always a big part of my masturbation fantasies. In the pre-Internet days when there was so little available information on the subject, I felt I must be weird and had no idea so many other people had the same feelings. And I had no idea there were women out there who wanted to be domed. I envy the youngsters who can get on the Internet when they find out they have these feelings and know they're not alone.

Hope you will share when you knew.

FD

Bondage Games

Do you watch Survivor? I don't usually but caught an episode last week with a bondage theme. The contestants had one arm tied over their head and the last one standing won. After an hour and 10 minutes, the last woman was still standing. I heard in a previous challenge, she lasted six hours.

That got me thinking. Are many of our readers into bondage? Have you had your hands tied over your head for very long? Do you like being tied up? Spreadagled Hog tied? Are you tied up very often?

Hope you will share your bondage experiences and your feelings about them!!! Or is it not your thing?

FD

Happy Mother's Day

Hope you've having a great Mother's Day weekend. We're doing something different and are having a family reunion this weekend. Spending time with the kids and the grandkids at DisneyWorld. It's hot and the lines are lone but the grandkids love it. The whole experience is great for them. Even the water slide at the hotel pool is a treat for them.

I saw a thing at a store recently that said if we knew grandkids were this much fun, we would have had them first. With the grandkids, we can be the goodguys and have fun with them and let their parents do the heavy lifting. Anyway, hope whatever you're doing this weekend, you're having a good time. Always good to have a time to thank mothers for all they do.

If you have a chance, share your Mother's Day experiences.

FD

What happens after sex?

I know the stereotype is that the man rolls over after sex and leaves the woman frustrated because she wants some aftercare.

I don't follow that stereotype. I love aftercare. To me, cuddlling a woman who's still in the afterglow of a Big O is very satisfying. It's a sharing and reliving of the experience.

But I know stereotypes have a ring of truth. So does your man roll over for sleep or a nap after he's cum? Or does he give you aftercare? And do you want aftercare or do you like rolling over yourself?

Your thoughts.

FD

Cuming!!!

There were a lot of good comments on the subject of whether you'd prefer to make your partner cum or cum yourself.

The majority preferred to pleasure him.

But Southern Girl made the comment that "Women usually have a tougher time than men do in this area...when someone does take the time to try and unlock my inner slut and find my somewhate elusive O...they are rewarded heartily.''

And cultivateddiscipline said, "I don't want a guy to work overtime to make me orgasm just becasue he views it as tit for tat.''

I thought this leads to a question. Do you know early on whether you'll be able to cum and it doesn't matter how long he tries, it's not your day -- or night. Or if he does take the time and knows how to, can he unlock you?

And if he is trying too hard and you know it's not going to happen, do you fake it to let him think he got you off?

Your thoughts?

FD

Pleasing Your Partner

I was just reading Aurore's blog (dangerousliaisons-aurore.blogspot.com) and she said in answer to a question that she'd prefer to make her partner cum than cum herself. She said her level of satisfaction was higher if she made her partner cum than if she came herself. She said she was more into pleasing her partner than pleasing herself. She said she likes cuming but preferred pleasing her partner.

I thought this was an interesting topic so I thought I'd ask the readers: do you agree or disagree?

Of course, I would think the ideal is that you both cum but do you prefer making your partner cum than cuming yourself?

Your thoughts?

FD

Wearing Perfume

I read an article about a British fragrance retailer that polled 3000 women on the scents with the most man attracting power.

Chanel No. 5 was first but then it is the best seller. The others were Be Delicious by DKNY, Ghost by Ghost, Eternity for Women by Calvin Klein, Hugo Women by Hugo, Classique by Jean Paul Gaultier, Cool Water by Davidoff, Angel by Thierry Mugler, Anais Anais by Cacharel and Obsession by Calvin Klein.

Here's the questions:

Do you wear perfume and if so, all the time, at work or just going out? Do you wear perfume if you're staying in all day?

Do you wear any of these top-rated ones?

Do you think perfumes attract men?

Or do you wear perfume because you feel good about yourself when you wear perfume?

Does the man in your life want you to wear perfume or doesn't he care?

Where do you wear it on your body?

And if you don't wear it, why not?

I thought we might get some interesting answers.

Your thoughts.

FD

Being the Breadwinner

One of our new bloggers posted today that she is about to become the breadwinner in the family and she may find it difficult to come home and have her husband put the dinner on the table and yet still be in control.

Yet she says with the stresses at work, she may need more than ever to submit. Yet they're also new at TTWD so it may be somewhat confusing.

So I thought I'd ask our readers for their take on this. Do any of you have first-hand knowledge of being the breadwinner and yet submitting?

I think many women are take charge types on the job and yet like to submit at home. It's the premise for my Lisa series. Now it may be different if the husband is staying home but I think they can make it work but I thought I'd ask for some advice from our readers.

Your thoughts?

FD

The Woman Who Didn't Know She was Pregnant

I don't know if any of you watched 20-20 Friday night (and obviously our readers outside the U.S. didn't) so I'll give a brief recap.

It was a story of a woman in Michigan who had three previous children and put on 60 pounds for one of them gained only 10 pounds and had a full term nine pound, 10 ounce baby without knowing she was pregnant. She said she didn't have morning sickness, felt no kicking and had an irregular cycle so that didn't alarm her.

But one night, she was having cramps, gave birth in the middle of the night in her bathtub and they played the frantic 911 call her husband made. The dispatcher, a 36-year-old woman, was on the job for the first night, calmed him down as he said there was blood all over the tub, told him to get a towel and wipe the baby's eyes and face and a shoestring to tie the cord six inches from the belly. One of their kids ran to get a shoelace from his sneakers and then the father told them to get out of the bathroom. The paramedics were 20 miles away and the hospital was 25. The mother was worried the baby wouldn't be healthy because of the lack of pre-natal care, but he's completely healthy and is now almost a year old.

Now for the kicker of the story. The husband had a vasectomy six years ago. But the wife said to him, I know what you're thinking but don't go there and that was their only discussion. He went back to his doctor and being a typical male, he'd never gone back for a followup after having the procedure and the doctor said in a million to one shot his tubes had reopened. The husband didn't ask for a DNA test to prove the baby was his. He was convinced.

So if you saw the show or just read my summation, I'm wondering if any of the mothers out there gained only 10 pounds in a pregnancy and didn't look pregnant and if any didn't realize they were pregnant for a few months. And if the man in your life had a vasectomy and you got pregnant by him, would he be as understanding as this guy was.

Your thoughts.

FD

P.S. If you read the comments, there's a reference to a new web site that might interest you.

Buying New Clothes

In the Annie Mailbox column today, there was a comment from a husband of 19 years who complained that his wife won't buy new clothes and wears out of date, ill-fitting stuff.

The authors commented on how refreshing to find a man who wants his wife to spend money on clothes.

So I thought this would be an interesting topic. I know women tend to have a reputation for loving to shop, but I also know that some don't like to or can never find anything they think looks good on them.

So the questions are: Do you like to shop or not? Do you feel you buy too many clothes or not? Does the man in your life think you spend too much money on clothes or likes you to buynew clothes and compliments you when you do? Do you shop for bargains and do you pay full price?

Anyway, let's hear what women have to say about their clothes shopping habits and what the men in their life think about those habits. Men are allowed to comment, too, on their opinion of their wives' clothes shopping.

FD

The Perfect Gift

If you've read recent chapters of my Lisa series (and I know I'm behind and hope to write another chapter soon), I had Lisa getting a Tiffany's necklace to wear in public as her collar to go with the real collar symbolizing her submission that she wears at home.

Like the rest of the story, this was a product of my fantasies. Well, lo and behold, I'm reading memoirs of a harem slave (haremslave.blogspot.com), and there's a reference to a Tiffany's padlock pendant. And there's a link to it on the Tiffany page. It says it's a timeless Tiffany favorite with a round brilliant diamond.

And all for the bargain basement price of just $575. I know, I know, you're paying for the Tiffany name and I'm sure it doesn't fit the budget of many of our bloggers.

But if you can afford it, I thought what better gift for your sub. She can wear it in public and be proud of it and nobody out of the lifestyle would be wiser about what it is really symbolizes.

So if you really want to impress your sub for an anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's Day or even Mother's Day present, this is perfect. I always say you never gone go wrong with flowers but this is much more spectacular.

And all you subs out there, if the man in your life is looking for a special present, you can give him a hint.

FD

P.S. If you click on the comments, some of the bloggers have been kind offer to suggest some less expensive alternatives that may fit your budget.

It's Still a Man's World

I don't know how many of you read Newsweek but they had a story about the progress women have made and haven't.

They report that despite having earned higher college GPAs in every subject, young women will take home, on average across all the professions, 80 per cent of what their male colleagues do. Female MBAs make $4,600 less a year.

The fact that women drop out of the business world to become mothers is sometimes blamed for the problem but a decade out of college, full-time working women who haven't had children make 77 cents on the male dollar.

At Newsweek, men wrote all but six of the 49 cover stories last year. In 1970, women were only 25 percent on the masthead. Now it's up to 39 per cent, an improvement but not equality. Women are three per cent of Fortune 500 CEOs and less than a quarter of law parnters and poliiticians.

And then there's the problem that women who do get ahead are often criticized. Nancy Polesi will go into the history books as an effective Speaker of the House and yet the N.Y,. Times called her "scary tough'' in an article supposedly lauding her for rounding up the votes for health care. At least they didn't call her the b word. For a man being called "scary tough'' is a compliment (LBJ was noted for twisting arms) but it isn't considered a plus for women.

And Newsweek also noted that when a woman gets ahead, there is often talk about were her looks a factor. And male superiors sometimes tell them to "use their sexuality'' to get ahead.

And 45 per cent of women are secretaries, nurses, teachers and cashiers.Not that there's anything wrong with those jobs but they don't tend to be high-paying jobs. And teachers often get blamed when their parents don't insist they do their homework.

And on and on. I wonder what are women bloggers think about the opportunities they have and haven't had and if they think things will be better for their daughters. Or will it continue to be a man's world?

FD

Sex in the '60s

Most of our bloggers are too young to remember the '60s and don't realize what it was like growing up in those days. They hear about the Summer of Love, hippies and Woodstock in those pre-AIDS days and think it was one long orgy.

I was reminded of that when I saw a story that a poll of 3000 women between the ages of 18 and 24 showed they had an average of 5.65 partners between 2000 and last year. In the '60s, it was 1.67 and by the 70s increased to 3.72 and by the '90s was just under five. Only eight per cent of today's women said they had more than 10 partners by their mid 20s.

So you can see the '60s wasn't the era of free love that it is often now portrayed to be. The problem was that abortion was still illegal (Roe vs. Wade was in 1973 although New York had legalized it before then) and the pill wasn't invented until the mid 60s and in the early years had a lot of side effects.

So for young women, sex risked pregnancy, which was still taboo for young women and illegal abortions were dangerous. One of my wife's college classmates died in an illegal abortion. So it was the era when foreplay (I actually think some of today's young people miss the joys of foreplay because they go straight to sex) and petting were much more common than having sex.

Of course, the pill and legal abortion freed up women to be able to experience their sexuality without the fear of pregnancy but that wasn't the case in the '60s. Now compared to how repressed things were in the '50s (married couples always slept in separate twin beds on TV), the times were changing in the '60s. But not as fast as people think they were.

Don't know if this interests today's women but I thought I'd pass it along.

FD

Staying Healthy

Since a lot of women appear to read this blog, I thought I'd pass something along I saw in the paper today. Researchers in Spain say one in three cases of breast cancer are preventable. It says one woman in eight gets the disease.

The researchers say that 25 to 30 per cent of breast cancer cases could be avoided if women were thinner and exercised more.

The researchers add that women shouldn't blame themselves for the disease because gender, age and family history (the three major risk factors) can't be controlled.

"It is incredibly difficult to isolate specific factors. Therefore women should in no way feel they're responsible for developing breast cancer,'' said one women researcher.

But another said they can't ignore the links between lifestyle and breast cancer. "If we know there are healthier choices, we can't not recommend them just because people might misinterpret the advice and feel guilty. If we are going to prevent breast cancer, then this message needs to get out, particularly to younger women.''

One key is not getting overweight in the first place because they're not sure if women who lose weight can lower their risk to the level of a woman who was never overweight.

They also said that drinking more than two drinks of alcohol a day can boost the risk by four or 10 per cent.

I know many women struggle with their weight so I don't want to go there, (and I need to lose at least 15 to 20 pounds myself so I'm in no position to lecture on the subject), but most people can at least do more walking.

Anyway, I got the message out. Do with it what you want.

FD

Looking Back on Your Wedding

The Washington Post recently posed the question of whether couples who had a big wedding would just take a check if they had to do it all over again instead of spending on the wedding.

The discussion then morphed into talk by couples about various aspects of their weddings. Some still thought it was perfect all these years later regardless of whether it was big or small. They particularly liked the idea they got to see friends and relatives who don't usually get together. Others wished it had been smaller. Others wished it had been bigger. Others said they wish they had done it for themselves instead of bowing to pressure of parents.

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting discussion so I thought I'd pose the question to our married readers. Would you change anything about your wedding looking back or was it a dream day you will never forget?

Your thoughts.

FD

Dressed for a Spanking

The idea for this post started with a March 13 post by Hermione (hermionesheart.blogspot.com) called Bedtime in which she put up a picture from hawtness.com of a woman dressed in full pajamas with a back drop opened that exposed her butt.

Hermione speculated that they'd be good for a spanking and I posted that wouldn't most spankos prefer to be undressed for a spanking. She replied that it's sometimes most exciting to be fully clothed except for the target area.

Then another blogger emailed me to suggest I post the question so I will. How do you prefer your spankings? Just your butt exposed. Exposed from the waist down or fully exposed? And how does the guy in your life like you dressed or undressed for a spanking?

So there's the question. I would appreciate your thoughts on the topic. I guess I should include the possibility of being fully clothed for a spanking although I would think that would be the least favorite option.

Your thoughts?

FD

Lisa's Training Chapter 10

This is the latest installment in my series about the training of Lisa, a hard-charging executive in the boardroom who was trained as a submissve and has been collared as a slave by her Master. Let me know if you enjoy the chapter and want the series to continue. The first nine chapters can be found in my archives.

Lisa's Training Chapter 10

Lisa couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Her Master and the stranger she had been ordered to expose her tits to were discussing her as if she weren't sitting at the restaurant table listening to them.

And they were discussing such intimate things that she was getting red faced and felt humiliated. But she knew she had to accept the situation because she had to submit to her Master. And the more humiliated she felt, the wetter she got. Her pussy would always betray her.

What she didn't know was that the stranger in the restaurant was one of Master's best friends, which is why he was being so candid. He talked to the stranger about what a natural submissive she was and how enjoyable it was to train her her to submit while bringing her submissive side to a new level. He kept pushing her to do more things for him and she would always obey. He also enjoyed bringing out her submissive side because she's an executive in her company who is used to being in charge on the job. She shows that strong women in the workplace can be submissive in the bedroom.

Still, she was having trouble with the concept of exposing herself to the limo driver and the driver and showing her unshaved pits to the waiter. But after initially protesting, she had agreed to obey even though she knew she would be punished for not agreeing immediately to do what she was told. She knew she was not allowed to protest or debate with her Master. Her job was to obey. And there were consequences if she didn't. She had been trained to obey immediately.

She also blushed as the Master told the stranger how much she liked to swallow his cum. It was a submissive act that she virtually craved. And how much she loved ass play. He noticed right away that it was more of a turn on for her when he played with her ass than with her tits.

Her Master told the stranger that she had spent the evening with a butt plug in her ass and that she loved the feeling of fullness it gave her. Best of all, she liked it when he took the plug out and she was freshly stretched and then he plunged her cock into her butt. And kept pulling it almost out and jamming it right back in her again. It almost always led to an explosive orgasm. She loved being fucked in the ass.

She also was turned on by the spankings he gave her except when he used the crop. She admitted she was afraid of him when he had the crop in his hand because the crop stung so much when it hit her butt and always left marks. And if it hit her thighs instead of her butt, she had to bite her lips to keep from crying out in pain. It was always much more painful for her when she was beaten on her thighs than on her butt. She knew she was expected to endure the beatings without making a lot of noise.

And she got so wet that he enjoyed pushing his fingers inside her cunt, coating them with her juices and then making her smell them and lick the juices off her fingers. He also tasted her juices himself at times because she was so tasty.

He then told the stranger that he could taste her right now since he was sitting next to her at the restaurant table and it would be easy to reach under the table and stick his fingers into her.

She was startled when she heard her Master say that. She couldn't believe he was going to let the stranger stick his fingers in her in a public place. Without thinking, she said, "Huh?'' But then her Master sent her a stern glance and she knew she had made a mistake. She had to submit to her Master's wishes. She knew instantly she had displeased him and she apologized. He simply said she knew there would be a punishment for that. She said, "Yes, Master.''

He then told her to spread her legs and she did. The next thing she knew, the stranger had his hand under the table, moved her thong aside and plunged a finger in her. And then a second one. But he didn't just pull them out. He massaged her insides and then found her G spot and caressed it gently. Her body couldn't help reacting from the stimulation. She wasn't happy that a stranger was allowed to put his fingers inside her, but she felt herself getting wetter and she was on the verge on panting, but she tried to control herself. Her Master just smiled because he knew she wanted an orgasm, but she wasn't going to get one. And even she didn't want to cum in a public place. But her body wanted it.

The stranger than took his fingers out of her and sniffed them as if he were sniffing a fine wine. Lisa watched and hoped nobody in the restaurant noticed what he was doing. She felt so humiliated as he licked his fingers and tasted her juices, but yet she was still so wet. The stranger told her Master that her juices were tasty. He smiled and said he should bottle them like a fine perfume.

Her Master then invited the stranger to come with them to his place where he could give her a thorough inspection. Oh, she felt so embarrassed. This stranger was now going to get more access to her body to do who knows what. But she tried to keep smiling. She knew she couldn't protest even though she didn't like her Master sharing her. She wanted to belong just to him. But she had to make him happy. She had to follow his wishes.

He face felt flushed as the three of them headed towards the limo. The stranger got in first and sat in the middle of the back seat. Her Master then told her to drape herself over his lap. She knew what that meant. He was serious about the stranger giving her a spanking. She preferred that her Master spank her, but she knew she had no choice in the matter. She had to give Master what he wanted. To make things worse, she knew the limo driver would see her spanked, but she knew she had to accept it if she wanted to be his slave. Being his slave was an all or nothing matter. He had told her that once she accepted his collar, she had to obey or she would lose the collar. She couldn't bear that thought or even the thought of displeasing him.

The stranger slid her thong off of her and then told her to spread her legs and jammedthe thong inside her so it would be soaked with her juices. He then pulled the wet thong out of her and told her to open her mouth and pushed them inside her mouth. That would serve as a gag to keep her quiet during the spanking. The stranger had a surprise for her. Inside his suit jacket, he had a ruler. This was going to be a harsh spankin and it had all been planned in advance, but Lisa didn't know that. It would end only when her butt was red or they arrived at her Master's place. It depended on what happened first.

And he told her to keep his legs spread. He would be checking to see how wet the spanking made her. Lisa was a jumble of emotions. She was going to be spanked in front of a limo driver by a stranger. The only thing that could console her was the fact that she knew her Master wanted this and she was making him happy.

The stranger then lifted her dress and started to beat her bare ass. Twenty swats on one buttock and then 20 on the other one. And then back to the first. And he kept repeating it. Over and over and over again. He started slowly and she had no trouble absorbing that but then the blows became harder and faster. Only the thong in her mouth and the fact she was biting her lip kept her from crying out. This was different from a spanking by her Master. This was by a stranger. In front of another stranger, the limo driver who could watch from his rear view mirror. The blows kept raining down on her ass cheeks. She didn't know how much more more she could take. She always liked ass play, but she hadn't had one like this from her Master. The blows even jammed the butt plug deeper in her ass, which felt like it was on fire. It burned.

Just then the limo came to a stop. They were at her Master's place. The stranger started to gently rub her ass, but even touching it was painful.

She then heard her Master congratulate her for pleasing him. That suddenly made it all worth it. She knew she had pleased her Master. That's what counted. The stranger then pulled down her dress and helped her up as the limo driver opened the door. She was shaky as she got to her feet and then she heard her Master say to the stranger that he thought he would enjoy inspecting her. She had forgotten about the inspection he had mentioned.

How much more was she going to have to endure tonight to please her Master? She would soon find out. She knew that pleasing him was her reward for being a good girl and obeying him and submitting to him. She knew she would do what she was told to do. But she knew it wasn't going to be easy. She knew she was going to be pushed to her limits -- and possibly beyond.

The End